Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Bluebear]

I’m still a scared and needy 14 year old girl inside too
I hadn’t really thought of it that way before..
Having severe SA and maybe depression, this isn’t our “fault”
How do we help this scared and needy child inside us?

I saw one GP quite recently who was friendly. She looked at my medical notes and said something like “you don’t look xx age” ... as in she thought I looked younger. She said to “stick with the girls” and to consult her or another female GP at the practice. She told me she was going to a different surgery later on and said she wanted to “take me with her” .. she was probably about 30. But then she left the surgery and moved far away. I think she may have fallen out with the extremely arrogant and rude senior partner there. The one who labelled me...

[Mountainstream]

I’m too shy to post an introduction. But hi.

[anewyear]

^ Hey Mountainstream..! Welcome. Loving your name.. sounds all peaceful and tinkling

[Mountainstream]

Thank you anewyear.

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by anewyear

Swap out husband for wife, girl for boy, 16 year old for 14 year old, and this absolutely describes me to a T

Ah, it's nice to know I'm not alone with this then

Originally Posted by Bluebear

I’m still a scared and needy 14 year old girl inside too
I hadn’t really thought of it that way before..
Having severe SA and maybe depression, this isn’t our “fault”
How do we help this scared and needy child inside us?

I saw one GP quite recently who was friendly. She looked at my medical notes and said something like “you don’t look xx age” ... as in she thought I looked younger. She said to “stick with the girls” and to consult her or another female GP at the practice. She told me she was going to a different surgery later on and said she wanted to “take me with her” .. she was probably about 30. But then she left the surgery and moved far away. I think she may have fallen out with the extremely arrogant and rude senior partner there. The one who labelled me...

I'm guessing it might be quite common for people with SA to feel emotionally younger than their years. Although a lifetime of regrets, disappointments and heartaches have unquestionably taken their toll and in some respects made me cynical and world weary, deep down, I still feel that I haven't advanced very much at all on an emotional level. I'm more like an insecure teenager than a middle aged woman. Actually, I would say I'm more like a toddler (accept not cute) as the teenagers I come into contact with these days appear very calm and collected, and mature.

Don't you find it quite flattering when people think that you look younger than your age Bluebear?

It used to drive me crazy when people thought I was a lot younger than my years but after I had a child I suddenly seemed to age 20 years over night! I would give anything to look young for my age again, so long as folk didn't start talking in that patronising way that they tend to do when they equate a young looking, awkwardly quiet person with being a tad simple

Originally Posted by Mountainstream

I’m too shy to post an introduction. But hi.

Welcome to the forum Mountainstream
I still feel shy after years of posting (off and on) but everyone is very understanding and supportive here so please don't feel afraid to post. It's far too quiet here these days so to have some new members posting would be lovely

[Dougella]

^ Well done with your phone call.


Wow a painting and drawing group for health, that sounds so good

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Ethel

Was just sitting thinking how life is a bit shit and generally feel like I'm running out of reasons to live. Then I hear a knock at the door and open it to a sweet old couple grinning from ear to ear, one of them thrusts a leaflet my way and says "we'd love to see you there", it reads..
YOU ARE INVITED 2019 to 'love never fails! convention of Jehovahs Witnesses'. Totally ****ing bemused.

Not exactly what you were hoping for I assume still it sounds like it slightly interrupted your low mood and difficult thoughts.

[Professor Willow]

The amount of food that goes to waste in this house is appalling, yet I seem to be the only one bothered about it.

[Dougella]

^ Is food waste taken by the recycling people to be turned into compost where you live?

[Schmosby]

^^ My mum's endless food wastage gets on my wick.

[edbander]

bit weird.

eventually my parents won't be here. I'll probably move into a smaller house in the village. so the house I'm living in now, won't be mine, and the village that I've been in (first moved into) for 25 years will probably seem a bit 'alien'.

[Bluebear]

Chocolate

[newbs16]

How sometimes I have no control over anxiety and I let it win, when it shouldn't.

Also my parents, one is very understanding and the other just doesn't get it at all.

[Schmosby]

I'm not sure I've met many as stupid and unlikeable as my mum. She really is a human turd.

[anxiouslondoner]

^ Move out then. Your repeated whining about her reflects very badly on you, not her.

[Schmosby]

^ You take her then, as your whining about my whining about her only reflects badly on you (as that's what passes for logic apparently).

[anxiouslondoner]

^ I'm not the one continuing to live with someone I appear to have nothing but contempt for.... it's your life, waste it for all I care.

[Schmosby]

^ You are the one continuing to use this forum with someone that you appear to have nothing but contempt for, so what's the difference?

[anxiouslondoner]

^ I'd explain it to you but I really can't be bothered. Goodnight.

[Jen.]

What has she done that makes her "a human turd"?

[Dougella]

^^ You know what I do wonder why someone would continue to live, as an adult with a full time job etc, with someone that they seem to dislike so strongly. Admittedly many people have complicated relationships with their family members, but describe your own mother as a 'human turd' I would say is pretty unusual. It seems like a cycle of negativity which can't be good for either person.

[limey123]

Originally Posted by Schmosby

I'm not sure I've met many as stupid and unlikeable as my mum. She really is a human turd.

So take charge of your life and move somewhere else if you are unhappy. It sounds like you at least have the luxury of a full-time job.

[Professor Willow]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ Is food waste taken by the recycling people to be turned into compost where you live?

Yes it is, which I suppose is better than landfill.

The thing I find most annoying is when things like ham or cheese get opened up and half used only for the rest to get binned because it's dried up because someone was too lazy to wrap it up in clingfilm.
Another bug bare is tins of baked beans that get left open to go dry and mouldy, put them in a plastic container with a lid and they'll keep for a week.

I'll stop there because the subject really makes my piss fizz!

[Dougella]

^ Yeah atleast that's something. Those things would totally annoy the hell out of me too!

[Copernicium]

Originally Posted by D1662

The amount of food that goes to waste in this house is appalling, yet I seem to be the only one bothered about it.

I'm in the Eddie Izzard school of food waste:

"you’ve got all these fruits, and you get a selection, you take it home, you arrange it in a bowl… and then you watch it all rot!"

This never happens with chocolate biscuits. Or pizza. But fruit ... it's shameful how often I chuck out fruit and salad stuff I haven't eaten.

[newbs16]

You shouldn't call your mother a human turd, but we don't really know what it's like to live with someone who you dislike this much, maybe things have happened in the past and that's why he dislikes his mother so much.

[Consolida]

^ I agree newbs.
Relationships can be complicated and I do think folk should feel that it's okay to vent here about certain events or people in their life if it helps them to let off some steam at that particular moment. So long as it isn't hurting anyone of course.


I'm thinking and fretting about how I'm going to thoroughly clean the house from top to bottom and do loads of chores in the garden in readiness for the in-laws coming to stay when I have torn the muscle in my arm. Oh, and also only have the energy of a sloth

[Oddity]

I don't post enough, I usually feel better when I do.

[Schmosby]

Moving out would be unaffordable in London even if I did work full time, which I don't and as I've said before she can't manage on her own.

Mum was just being a nasty drunk, as she does. I can't remember what her issues were that evening, but there were a few.

This situation could be just as easily resolved by her choosing not to be disgusting, it's not vital to be hateful towards your own children, you can just behave in a loving supportive way, as a parent should.

[Consolida]

^ I can't imagine how awful it must be having to live with an alcoholic parent
Has she ever tried to get help for her problem Schmosby?
That you partly continue to live with your mum because she wouldn't cope alone is commendable considering how unpleasant she can be. I hope someday that this unhappy situation can be resolved for the both of you