CBT...

[Bluebear]

I haven’t been a fan of CBT in the past. But I wonder if there is something in some of it. For example I might think to myself I have “zero” friends apart from my husband (who is my best friend) and maybe two really good online friends. But then some people think online friends don’t ever count... is this really logical? Some cynics would maybe say it is logical. Even if we could call them at 3.00 am in an “emergency” (which I wouldn’t do anyway) they would likely be too far away to be able to offer any help. I wonder what a CBT therapist would have to say about this dilemma (and is someone automatically a “failure” if they aren’t a social butterfly...or if they aren’t in full time employment in a well paid job. I think not. But what does “society” and even some therapists think..

[BritishPeace]

Isn't CBT common sense?

[Bluebear]

CBT, if I understand correctly is cognitive behavioural therapy. If given by a skilled therapist, some may describe it as a common sense approach to therapy, not sure I would agree.

[Consolida]

Bluebear, in answer to your dilemma about whether online friends count as friends I would say, yes, certainly. Friendship is about communication and being there for someone even if it doesn't entail being physically in the same room but behind the screen of a PC.

I personally wouldn't downplay any kind of friendship (not that you are) as they all have there place. I would bet that people know far more about the real me online than the few people I interact with in real life (excluding my husband and son of course). Sad perhaps but a sign of the times and perhaps even more so for people with social anxiety who can feel quite isolated.

As for CBT it's something that I've never had because I always felt that it would take a lot more than a few sessions of having my thoughts and actions challenged by a therapist to get anywhere close to undoing years of long standing and deep held beliefs that were first laid down during early childhood.

I actually think it's quite patronising how CBT tends to put forward the idea that if someone just makes an effort to address their faulty thinking then a lot of their problems will be solved. Just think yourself better as it were. If only things were that simple!

While CBT may be helpful for some I don't believe it's helpful for everyone. We are all different and there isn't a one size fits all. People with mental health issues behave and think the way that they do for a multitude of reasons often as a result of childhood trauma, bullying etc. If someone feels crap about certain past experiences then are they going to feel less crap if a therapist points out that to think this way is wrong and dysfunctional and needs to be challenged? How can you put a positive stance on things that were negative?

As you can see I'm not a big fan of CBT, lol, but each to their own


British Peace, could you elaborate on what you mean about CBT being common sense? I would be interested to hear your views.

[newbs16]

In some ways online friendship is better because you're protected because you are behind your phone, or computer and can probably chat about things that you would never talk about to your family or in person.

I've also received Christmas, birthday and postcards from other members of the forum and they live hundreds of miles away.

I think I might benefit from having some cbt treatment but I'm unsure where to start.

[SonicandTails]

I have been dealing with social anxiety all my life and I am 56 years old now. I haven't worked for the past 15 years and wanted to get back into part time work and once and for all try and do something about my difficulties so I started a course of CBT about a month ago and at the same time have started to work on a voluntary basis.

I was very dubious about it all, and I even surprised myself that I booked a session of therapy but I am determined to give it my best shot. Yes it's difficult, takes time and a lot of commitment but I have been held hostage for most of my life so 12 weeks of CBT doesn't seem that much of a commitment to me!

I have found it extremely helpful. I have had these difficulties for so long that I literally have to retrain my brain to think differently and I am getting a great deal of support in trying to do this. It might seem 'common sense' but when you have lived with this condition for as long as I have it is not easy to see it in such simple terms.

I don't know if it will be totally successful but already I am sleeping better and have learned some techniques to help with my chronic anxiety. My condition is so bad that I doubt it will be 100% successful but even if it helps a little that will be huge for me.

At least if it doesn't work I can take comfort that at least I tried.

[Bluebear]

Thank you all for the replies. That’s great that you’re sleeping better, SonicandTails. I hope the therapy continues to go well

[Bluebear]

Consolida, I think CBT can be patronising too..

[sophie123]

They tried CBT with me but by that time I was way to far gone and was having a meltdown by the time I went to the doctors for help,but having had SA for about 44 years at the time I don't think CBT would have worked for me even if I wasn't having a meltdown because I had already taught myself most of the coping skills that they teach you otherwise I wouldn't have coped with it for so long by myself in the first place.