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#1
3rd March 2007, 13:22
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I am a wreck.
I need to write.
A long time ago I could wake up in the morning, and know that I was working towards getting better. I have avoidant personality disorder, I could tell myself, and frequently did. It was solid, and real. It meant something. I could write it down on a piece of paper and then I could read it back to myself. I have avoidant personality disorder but I know how to get better. That was what was important. There was rigidity, there was structure, and there was absolutely no ambiguity. I could see all of the steps in my mind, stages of therapy falling in to place like the phases of some elaborate Goldberg machine that would end with my finally being happy and well. I knew how to get better; I merely had to work towards getting there. This was a good time for me. I was gaining confidence and taking risks that weeks previous may well have been impossible for me to so much as contemplate. A counselling session here, 20mg of Paroxetine there, and I was working towards my goal of getting better. This time next year, I imagined, I might even be able to get a job! Then something happened. I could try to pinpoint exactly what, but it wouldn't matter. I'd gain no new insight. Almost overnight I became immensely depressed, a feeling which up until now I had never truly experienced. Sure, I wasn't exactly a happy person before now but I hadn't really considered myself to be depressed. This was something new entirely -- this was abject and total misery, utterly merciless and unprovoked and unexpected. I regressed. My anxiety tripled, worse than before. Tasks that had become trivial for me once more became monumental, and this terrible feeling of depression settled over me seemingly indefinitely. My mental health deteriorated. I would experience episodes of depression so severe that they blinded me. I would be overcome by apathy so intense that I could scarcely move. My mind would wash with visions that danced before my eyes, hallucinations, visions of shadows and swarms of insects flooding my vision only to disappear just as quickly as they would come in to view. An emotional emptiness so profound that I could physically feel the vacant corners of my skull. I became delusional, remembering things that never happened and questioning things that had. I was self-destructive, acting out urges to cut myself that until now I had never, never experienced. The question of whether life was even worth living ran through my mind over, and over again, and one morning I was discovered completely catatonic. I began to crave social interaction more than I ever had before. More than once I contemplated slashing my wrists on the off-chance that I'd wake up in a hospital bed with a doctor -- a real person -- to talk to. I'd go out with friends, and drink myself in to oblivion, and when the night was over I would feel just as empty and lonely as I had before the night began. I made no connections with people, and still believe I am incapable of doing so. My life became the endless act of waiting for social contact that did not come, or was not satisfying when it did. I felt crushingly, hopelessly alone. Time is a blur. Some days I sleep six hours, some days I sleep fourteen. Some days I don't sleep at all. Sometimes it's light out and sometimes it's dark. It doesn't matter because every day is the same. I am a prisoner of my own head, and every day I can feel myself rotting away inside of my mind. But what is singularly most annoying -- through all of the depression, and the loneliness, and the misery, and the steady deterioration of my mental health, and the loss of all of the progress that until now I was making -- what infuriates me most of all is that I have lost my goals because I no longer know what is wrong with me. I wake up in the morning, and tell myself I have avoidant personality disorder and appear to be psychotically depressed. I can try getting out of the house but I no longer have the energy or the motivation to so much as read a book. I can try to socialise with people but I feel so distant and detached from people now that it has absolutely zero positive effect on me. I can try and do a lot of things that might help me overcome avoidant personality disorder, but it doesn't matter any more because I have a newer problem that I do not know how to fix. This depression has left me absolutely destroyed, and without hope, and without clue as to what to do now. My counsellor tells me I am depressed and reminds me that there is nothing that he can do to help me. My psychiatrist prescribes me pills to treat the depression, but likely underestimates grossly just how severe it has become for me and I no longer have the expressive aptitude to inform her of that fact during our conversation. And meanwhile I remain on the ever growing waiting list for psychological therapy in the vain hope that it might even begin to fix the staggering array of problems that my brain now seems to exhibit. I am completely adrift. I don't know what I need but I need it fast. 
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#3
3rd March 2007, 14:06
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Re: I am a wreck.
I found your post incredibly powerful, Mu, and beautifully written.
You are obviously in a very dark place right now, and one that kind words alone won't heal. I can identify totally with what you wrote, I'm in that place much of the time, have been for many, many years. A very slow, grinding death, barely an existence. Totally alone and dead inside, mind barely hanging on as everything deteriorates, a frustrating, empty agony that never goes away. It's not a thing you can just snap out of. At present, I am in a similar state, so apologies if my suggestions are a tad weak. Do you have a day centre near you, specifically one related to mental health issues that you could be referred to? It sounds like you need a consistent support network and even though the avoidance/anxiety might be too great for you at present, it really does help if you've got a structure to your life. When you go to these places, you don't have to make friends, but it can offer a great opportunity to reintegrate one's soul back into humanity. It's definitely no panacea, but it can help you to occupy the emptiness, give you some respite from the constant loneliness, give you things to do, even if at first you have no interest. If I hadn't been referred to a day centre, I would've been dead by now. Have you ever thought about helping people with mental health problems? When I was at a major low a couple of years back, I was asked if I would be interested in 'buddying' someone with severe agoraphobia and regular overdose issues for a couple of days a week. By helping this person regain some quality of life and seeing their confidence blossom to the point where they felt they could actually start to cope, I discovered that I actually had some benefits to offer others and I found the experience mutually rewarding. When I was buddying, I had a 'mission'. However small and pointless I tried to make that mission, however meaningless I felt, there was some minute, tangible feeling of achievement buried away inside somewhere which hadn't been there before. It is obvious that you have a deep insight into your problems and I think that you would not only be a good helper, but might help yourself by helping others. You need a mission. Don't do anything stupid, Mu, hang in there. 
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#4
3rd March 2007, 14:42
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Re: I am a wreck.
Wow mu, like the other guys said, you have a great talent for writing; having a means for self-expression is very important and like Gattaca said, it could be a therapy in itself.
I too recognise the agony you describe, and know full well how depression can convince you that there is no hope. Your current treatment is clearly not good enough, and if you are in iminent danger of ending it all, then it's time to tell your GP or mental health contact. Since hospitals are over-stretched, the criteria often seems to be that you must be in danger before they will admit you for some intensive treatment. Hopefully you could get help quickly. If you don't wish to follow that course, then maybe it would be worth writing to your counsellor how serious your situation has become? Maybe that would help them to get you moved up the waiting list? One thing I've noticed is how much a change of scenery can transform your thinking and bring new hope. I don't know how realistic it would be for you, but some travel could be helpful, even if it's just days out somewhere. Phil
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#5
3rd March 2007, 14:46
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Re: I am a wreck.
The only thing I can do is paste some articles on depression I found today. Hopefully you'll find something to point you in the right direction, so I hope you haven't just heard it all before. But I do remember a few things e.g. alcohol is NOT good for your depression, so try to release and relax with some other alternative. If your friends don't wanna know you because you don't want to have alcohol with them, then tell them where to go.
There's a lot to read, but it's worth it right?: What Causes Depression? Recognize Your Risk Factors -- By Nicole Nichols, Health Educator, SparkPeople Although a challenging life event, such as the death of a loved one or financial hardship, can trigger depressive episodes, the causes of depression are complex and overlapping. There are two main categories of risks that can contribute to depression—those that you can't change, and those that you can. Uncontrollable Risk Factors These variables are out of your control. Although you can't do anything to change them, it's important to know whether you fall into any of these higher-risk categories. Your family history. Depression appears to have a genetic component. You are more likely to experience depression if one of your parents also suffered from depression. If both parents had depression, your risk of developing it is twice as high. Your gender. Women are twice as likely to experience depression as men. Experts believe this is due to fluctuating hormone levels that women experience throughout life. Your age. While you may think that the risk of developing depression increases with age, that's not the always the case. In fact, studies show that the elderly are more likely to be happy and content with their lives than their younger counterparts. Depression can occur at any age (even in children), but it is most common in people between the ages of 24 and 44. Your health history. Chronic health conditions such as disability, heart disease, hypothyroidism, stroke, cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis (MS), and Parkinson’s disease can lead to depression. A history of depression also increases your risk for future episodes. Psychosocial factors. Depression is more common in people who have a history of trauma, abuse (sexual, physical or emotional), neglect, alcoholism, drug addiction, and insufficient family structure. Environmental factors. Chronic depression occurs more often in people who live in areas afflicted with war, natural disasters, and poverty. Seasonal depression is most common in high latitudes with extreme seasonal changes. Life changes. The loss of a loved one, conflicts with others, losing or starting a new job, the end of a relationship, retirement, moving to a new city and more—many life events can trigger depressive episodes. While you can’t change things like family history or your environment, you can control certain factors related to your lifestyle—the choices you make each day about what to eat and how to care for yourself. These are areas of your life where you can take proactive steps to help prevent and treat depression and enhance your overall health.
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#6
3rd March 2007, 14:50
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Re: I am a wreck.
Controllable Risk Factors
Your diet. Food can affect your mood. A diet too low in iron, healthy carbohydrates, and calories can cause symptoms of depression. Eating plenty of calories, whole grain carbohydrates, Omega-3 fatty acids, and iron-rich foods can improve symptoms. Learn how to eat well when dealing with depression. Your activity level. Inactive people tend to have higher stress levels, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, and mood swings. Regular exercise produces “feel good” chemicals in the brain, enhancing the benefits of antidepressant medications, and producing similar results. Learn more about exercising to relieve depression. Your alcohol & drug use. For many, depression and substance abuse are closely connected. Alcohol and illicit drugs can interact with medications, worsen depression and its symptoms, and prevent recovery. If you think you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, seek help. Your sleeping patterns. Changes in your sleeping habits and the quality of your sleep can be closely related to your mood. A lack of sleep can cause many symptoms similar to those of depression. Get tips for better shut-eye. Your medications. Several types of medications can cause depression. If you think your medication may be contributing to your symptoms, talk to your doctor about finding an alternative medication for your condition that doesn't have this negative side effect. Your stress levels. People with uncontrolled, chronic stress are more prone to developing depression. Taking time to relax and relieve stress through exercise, meditation, yoga or other techniques can help. While lifestyle changes alone cannot treat depression, talk with your health care provider if you think the factors above may be affecting your mood, thoughts and behavior. Every small lifestyle change you can make, in conjunction with the treatment plan laid out by your doctor, can improve your overall health and help enhance the effectiveness of medical interventions. Article created on: 3/2/2007
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#7
3rd March 2007, 14:50
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Re: I am a wreck.
Types of Depression
Find the Best Treatment for Your Condition -- By Nicole Nichols, Health Educator, SparkPeople Although people with depression may exhibit many of the same symptoms, thoughts and feelings, there are actually several different types of depression. Your doctor can evaluate your symptoms to make a proper diagnosis. Each type of depression has different patterns, triggers, diagnostic criteria and treatment methods. Major Depression, which affects about 25% of people at least once in their lifetime, interferes with one’s ability to work, study, sleep, eat and enjoy once pleasurable activities. Many common life changes can trigger major depression, such as losing a loved one (death, divorce, break-ups), fighting with someone, moving, graduating, changing careers, and retiring. Abuse (physical, mental or sexual) and social isolation are also common causes. Antidepressant medication and talk therapy are common treatments for this form of depression. Chronic Depression, also called dysthymia, is a relatively mild but chronic form of depression that affects over 10 million Americans. People with chronic depression are able to function in their daily lives, but have extreme difficulty finding pleasure in normal activities, and experience feelings of sadness and emptiness that may persist for years. Some people with chronic depression find talk therapy alone to be effective, but antidepressant medications can also help. Double Depression describes the condition of a person who experiences both major depression and chronic depression at the same time. Typically, people with double depression experience a bout of major depression for a while, followed by the milder chronic depression. Seasonal Depression, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, typically occurs during the colder, darker months (but can rarely occur during the summer). People with SAD experience depressive symptoms at the same time each year. Treatment can involve talk therapy, antidepressants, and light therapy. Lifestyle changes can also prevent the onset of SAD. Other serious forms of depression that are less common include manic depression (bipolar disorder), psychotic depression (depression accompanied by hallucinations and delusions), and postpartum depression. No matter what form your depression takes, talk with your health care provider to find the best treatment plan for you.
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#8
3rd March 2007, 14:51
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Re: I am a wreck.
Treatment Options for Depression
You are probably dealing with clinical depression (which warrants a visit to your doctor for evaluation) if you have experienced 5 or more of the following symptoms (and at least one of them is among the first two listed), nearly every day for two weeks or more: 1. Loss of interest in things you normally enjoy 2. Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless 3. Thoughts of death or suicide 4. Feeling worthless or guilty 5. Problems falling asleep, staying asleep, waking too early or sleeping too much 6. Unexplained decrease or increase in appetite, resulting in weight gain or loss within the last month. 7. Trouble thinking, concentrating, remembering, and making decisions 8. Extreme tiredness or lack of energy that interferes with your ability to work or take care of your daily responsibilities 9. Feeling restless, unable to sit still, or abnormally slow when moving Your doctor will likely try a combination of methods to treat your depression. Discuss the following treatment options with your doctor to find out what will work best for you. A combination of medication and therapy is the most common treatment method. Medication There are several different types of antidepressant medications, and they all work a little differently. It will take a few weeks for a medication to take effect and for your doctor to find the best dosage for you—to maximize benefits and minimize side effects. Whatever medication you use, be sure to follow the directions closely. Some require dietary changes to avoid food-drug interaction, for example. Once you start feeling better, you may think you no longer need your medication. But you should never change your dosage or discontinue using antidepressants until your doctor explains how to do so safely while also preventing a recurrence of symptoms. Psychotherapy Psychotherapy, or "talk therapy," is one of the most common treatment methods for depression. By talking with a qualified mental health professional, you'll learn about the behaviors, events, situations, and problems that contribute to your depression, find ways to cope with these factors, and regain control over your life and happiness. Several different types of psychotherapy exist, from one-on-one to group therapy. Just as you may try a few types of medication before you find the best fit for you, the same is true of psychotherapies (and therapists). Alternative Therapies While alternative therapies show promise, they are most effective when combined with medication and psychotherapy. Your doctor may also suggest the following options, in conjunction with your medication or therapy plan. *Please note that even though alternatives may seem safe and "natural," they too can have negative side effects. Always discuss alternative therapies with your doctor before trying them on your own: Herbal supplements, such as St. John's Wort Acupuncture, acupressure, or aromatherapy Dietary changes or nutritional supplements Exercise, such as walking or yoga Electroconvulsive therapy, a last resort for severe depression that doesn't respond to conventional treatment Remember that depression is a serious medical condition, not a sign of weakness. Most people cannot overcome depression without medical intervention. Luckily, more treatment options (with fewer side effects) are available today than ever before. Because depression is complex, the first treatment you try might not do the trick. Be persistent and continue visiting your doctor until you find the best form of treatment to help you live a fulfilling, productive life. Article created on: 3/2/2007
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#9
3rd March 2007, 14:51
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Re: I am a wreck.
How to Get Help for Depression
Untreated Depression Poses Serious Risks -- By Nicole Nichols, Health Educator, SparkPeople Nearly everyone has experienced a time when it hardly seems worth the effort to get out of bed, or when the problems they face seem so overwhelming that they're not sure where to begin. These feelings and thoughts are helpful warning signs that something isn’t right. Depression is a medical condition, not a personal weakness. People who suffer from depression should seek medical treatment, although many avoid it for various reasons—poor finances, embarrassment, uncertainty about where to go, or lack of knowledge about the seriousness of the condition. Without treatment, depression can last for weeks, months or even years. Besides feeling sad, tired and rundown, untreated depression can also increase the risk of other problems, including: Increased difficulty making decisions and facing life’s challenges. A weakened immune system, resulting in more and longer-lasting illnesses. Insomnia, which leads to fatigue, reduced mental clarity, and trouble concentrating. A higher risk of death in the event of a heart attack or stroke. Alcohol and drug use, abuse, and dependence. Long-term disability, resulting in lost wages and financial struggle. Strained relationships with family and friends. Suicidal thoughts and/or attempts. If you are seriously thinking about harming yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention hotline (1-800-273-8255) right now. The sooner you recognize and treat your depression, the better your chances for recovery (and prevention of future episodes) will be. Recognizing that depression is negatively affecting your life and seeking the help you need are the first—and most challenging—steps you need to take before you can get well. Finding the Help You Need Your primary care physician is qualified to evaluate you and rule out any underlying conditions that may be causing your symptoms. Be open and honest when talking with your doctor. Remember that depression is a real medical condition and says nothing about your character, willpower, or value as a person. Your doctor is specially trained and will not pass judgment or make your feel uncomfortable. After discussing your symptoms and health status, your doctor will recommend treatment options for you, and may refer you to another professional (such as a nurse practitioner, psychiatric nurse specialist, social worker, mental health counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist) for further evaluation or counseling. A combination of medication and therapy is the most common treatment method. Other Sources of Help If you don’t have insurance or can't afford to visit a primary care doctor, try visiting a: Community mental health center University-affiliated health center Employee assistance program Faith-based clinic or clergy Family & social service agency or social worker Free health clinic The professionals at these locations can help you find the resources you need, either referring you to another professional or providing free or low-cost diagnoses and treatment options. You should work closely with your health care provider to come up with the best treatment plan for you. These plans usually involve some combination of psychotherapy, medication, lifestyle changes (diet and exercise), and alternative therapies like yoga, meditation and visualization. The good news is that you don’t have to live with depression, a condition that is entirely treatable. More than 80% of people with depression benefit from treatment and can live fulfilling, productive lives. Article created on: 3/2/2007
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#10
3rd March 2007, 14:52
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Re: I am a wreck.
Eat Well when Dealing with Depression
The Link Between Food & Your Mood -- By Becky Hand, Licensed & Registered Dietitian, SparkPeople Although the foods you eat cannot treat depression, your diet does have significant effects on your mood, energy levels, mental health, and your ability to cope with stress. If you suffer from depression or seasonal affective disorder (SAD), certain dietary changes can help you get well when combined with a treatment program outlined by your health care provider. Talk to Your Health Care Provider Be open and honest when discussing your symptoms and feelings. Because depression can have many underlying causes, your doctor should perform a complete physical and also check the following: Thyroid. The thyroid gland controls yours metabolism but indirectly affects your mood. An overactive thyroid can make you feel anxious and irritable, while an under-active thyroid can cause sluggishness, exhaustion, loss of appetite, weight gain, and hair loss. Iron levels. Low iron stores can alter your mood, cause fatigue and difficulty concentrating, and decrease mental alertness. Use of oral contraceptives. Birth control pills can also shift hormone levels and alter mood swings, depression, and fatigue. Sleeping habits. Changes in your sleeping patterns and the quality of your sleep can be closely related to your mood. A lack of sleep can cause many symptoms similar to those of depression. If your doctor diagnoses you with clinical depression, work with her to develop a treatment plan that suits your lifestyle and discuss what role nutrition might play, especially if you receive prescription medications. The following guidelines are not cures for depression, but they are things to consider along with your treatment program. Dietary Tips for People with Depression DO structure your meals. Eat at approximately the same times each day and don't skip meals. Enjoy three well-balanced meals and plan snacks between meals. This will help insure that your body is getting the right nutrients throughout the course of the day. DO eat quality nutrients. Dieting itself is a stress on the body. Individuals who are trying to lose weight and have a history of depression must work to eat foods that are good for the body and the brain. Try incorporating more whole foods, fruits and veggies, and healthy fats by starting with this list of super foods. DO eat plenty of calories, even if you are trying to lose weight. Extremely low-calorie diets alter your metabolism and increase your risk of malnutrition. Eating less than 1,000 calories per day reduces the amount of tryptophan (an essential amino acid that is needed to produce serotonin) in your body. As a result, serotonin levels drop, which increases symptoms of depression and its chances of recurring. If you have trouble meeting your calorie needs, read Calorie-Boosting Tips. DO consume plenty of Omega-3s. Research suggests that certain omega-3 fatty acids can help with depression, either by correcting overactive cell signals in the brain or by allowing serotonin to pass through cell membranes more easily. Foods rich in omega-3s include cold water fish (salmon, sardines, and mackerel), soybeans, walnuts, eggs fortified with omega-3s, and ground flaxseed. DO cut back on caffeine. Caffeine acts as a stimulant, making you feel anxious and interfering with sleep patterns. Consume no more than 200- 300 milligrams of caffeine daily. DO avoid alcohol and drugs. Alcohol and illicit drugs can interact with antidepressant medications and other over-the-counter medications. For many, depression and substance abuse are already closely connected. If you think you have a problem, seek help. Addictive or abusive behaviors can prevent you from a full recovery. DO eat plenty of "good" carbohydrates, which increase the amount of serotonin in the brain. High serotonin levels can improve mood and decrease symptoms of depression. At minimum, aim for at least 130 grams of carbohydrates each day. And try to forgo the processed, "white" carbs (white rice, white bread, white flour, etc.) in favor of less processed foods like whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat bread and whole grain cereals), fruits and veggies. Losing Weight While Dealing with Depression If you are trying to balance weight loss with depression treatment, the following tips will help you do it safely without making your condition worse: Inform your health care provider before beginning a diet for weight loss. With your doctor’s approval, proceed with a slow-paced weight loss plan, aiming to lose no more than 0.5 pounds each week. Follow a balanced diet that meets all of your nutritional needs for protein, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins and minerals. A registered dietitian in your area can provide an individualized plan to meet your nutritional needs based on your medical history and treatment therapy. Carefully evaluate your mood changes while dieting and seek immediate treatment if you notice any changes. Depression is difficult for anyone who lives with it. It can sap your motivation to care for yourself, eat well, and exercise—the very things that can help you feel better. While dietary changes alone aren't a surefire way to prevent or treat depression, they can help you feel better when combined with the treatment options that your health care provider recommends.
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#11
3rd March 2007, 14:52
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Re: I am a wreck.
Dietary Supplements for Depression
What Does the Research Really Show? -- By Becky Hand, Licensed & Registered Dietitian, SparkPeople It's becoming more and more common for consumers to forgo medication when looking for a "natural" alternative to treating conditions like depression. No matter what method you choose, it's important to get all the facts. SparkPeople recommends working closely with your health care provider to find a treatment plan that works for you. The following article will help separate the facts from the falsities when it comes to supplements that claim to treat depression. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not regulate dietary supplements, which means that supplements with little to no research on safety or effectiveness are sold in stores and online every day. "Natural" or not, supplements can lead to overmedication, drug interactions, and serious side effects. It probably isn't a good idea to forgo your conventional medical treatment and rely on supplements alone. It's extremely important to always tell your doctor if you are using a dietary supplement or if you are even thinking about combining a dietary supplement with your conventional medical treatment. Discuss the following supplements with your doctor to decide which ones might be right for you. A derivative of the amino acid tryptophan, 5-HTP (5-hydroxy-L-tryptophan), is converted into the neurotransmitter serotonin in the brain. Supplementing 5-HTP is possibly effective in helping to increase the levels of serotonin in the brain, which helps regulate mood, sleep and appetite. However, additional research is needed. Side effects include: nausea, constipation, gas, drowsiness, and reduced libido. In high doses, 5-HTP may cause liver problems and aggravate asthma. A number of studies indicate that fish oil supplements, which are high in omega-3s, may be effective at treating depression—when combined with medical treatment. All fish oil supplements are different, so it's important to read labels and discuss them with your doctor. Specifically, the fatty acid EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid), which is found in fatty fish and fish oil, is the most beneficial. According to research, taking 1-2 grams of EPA orally (along with standard antidepressant therapy), improves depression symptoms. In contrast, DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), which is also found in fatty fish and fish oil, does not appear to have these same effects. Folic Acid is a B-vitamin. Taking folic acid (folate) supplements with conventional antidepressant medication might improve the treatment response for those with depression. However, current research suggests that folic acid is not an effective replacement for antidepressant medication therapy. Saffron hasn't been widely studied. One study of a specific saffron extract (from the Novin Zaferan Company in Iran) showed that when taken orally, saffron seemed to improve symptoms of major depression. However, one study isn't enough to prove safety or effectiveness. SAM-e (short for S-adenosylmethionine) is a molecule that naturally occurs within cells and is believed to influence chemicals involved in depression. In several small clinical studies, the dietary supplement SAM-e was shown to be a helpful treatment for major depression when given intravenously or intramuscularly to patients. SAM-e seems to reduce the symptoms of major depression when taken orally as well. Large scale studies are still needed to clarify the true effects of SAM-e in treating depression. SAM-e can have many side effects including nausea, diarrhea, anxiety, headache, and intense mood swings. The plant St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) has been used for centuries to treat depression. It is sold in the U.S. as a dietary supplement. Research indicates that St. John’s Wort improves mood, and decreases the anxiety, physical symptoms, and insomnia related to mild to severe depression. St. John’s Wort, however, has never been shown to be more effective or significantly better-tolerated than conventional antidepressant medications. St. John’s Wort may cause drug interactions. Side effects include: skin rash with sun exposure, insomnia, vivid dreams, agitation, upset stomach, diarrhea, fatigue, dry mouth, dizziness and headache. When it comes to treating depression, there is insufficient evidence or limited research to support the following supplements: Acetyl-L-Carnitine Chromium DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) DHEA Inositol KAVA (this has also been associated with liver failure) Lavender L-Tryptophan Melatonin Phenylalanine Phosphatidylserine Tyrosine There's nothing wrong with looking for alternatives to treating depression. While many people are opposed to prescription medications, possibly fearing adverse side effects, it's important to remember that prescription drugs are tightly regulated, tested, and evaluated and approved for use by the FDA. No supplements are tested as thoroughly as medications are. Using supplements, vitamins, and herbs involves risks as well. Always discuss supplementation with your health care provider before making a decision on your own. Article created on: 2/21/2007
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#12
3rd March 2007, 21:14
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Re: I am a wreck.
Quote:
You are still able to describe how you feel though mu, very well and with feeling. Clearly you are not dead inside but capable of extreme emotion and of communicating this. I would say keep writing down how you feel, buy a journal or pad or something just for recording your feelings each day. This will perhaps keep you attached to reality somehow and will be something you can show a counsellor/psychotherapist. To be honest, as I think you are aware, CBT is not going to do much, it sounds like quite severe /clinical depression even bordering on psychosis. You have hit rock bottom and (well who the hell am I to say, I've never been that low) if you can come through this at least, hopefully the only way is up  . I know what it is to suddenly find yourself overwhelmed by negative emotions you simply cannot control (in my case the depression took the form of extreme anxiety, night and day, 4 hours sleep if I was lucky, couldn't be alone, wouldn't shut up etc...I was headed for a real breakdown but just 20mg of seroxat completely saved me) and people saying pull yourself togethar is no good. But people do come through these episodes Mu, and emerge the other side.This may sound feeble but do try at least 1. eating loads of fresh fruit and veg, nothing but. 2. getting lots of exercise EVERY DAY to the point of sweat running down your face. 3. try cod liver oil capsules or eat oily fish (sardines, tuna etc) every day 4. try anti-depressants 5. go and see a good counsellor, preferably a Phd, not someone who has done a night class in counselling for 6 months. When you go show them your journal, if you can't keep one up at least print off what you have written on here and keep it. I wish I had a magic wand to make it all go away because I'd use it for you Mu. But since I don't this will have to do
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#13
4th March 2007, 01:26
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Re: I am a wreck.
Sometimes I come across long posts + think oh dear, but I was at the bottom of yours before I knew it, I was going to mention your talent for writing even before I saw several had beaten me to it.
I don’t have much advice but maybe you need to acknowledge that there will be times in your life where you ‘won’t know what you need’ + ‘wont know what is wrong with you’, but recognise that the more things you try the more likelihood you have of finding some answers. All the best
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#15
4th March 2007, 17:03
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Re: I am a wreck.
As you've written so well of how you feel can't you print it off, give it to the shrink, or post it.
all the best
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