What I did today - for small achievements and cheers

[Abigail Hobbs]

^ Well done Flumpsy, you're doing so well. In the least condescending way possible, I'm proud of you.

[Silent Ninja]

I managed to get myself to Costa for my obligatory weekend coffee shop visit for the first time since my panic attack, I wasn't remotely comfortable for a second in there and I didn't hang around long but I got it done.

There were a few check-out passes beforehand but it always looked too busy for me, then I went one last time once finished in Waitrose after deciding pretty much not to bother and it was very quiet so I decided to give it a go but quite a few people came in after me and I felt crowded in the queue and people started taking the empty tables so I lost any feeling of comfort after that but it is done now and hopefully will be easier next week.

[Sun Wukong]

Originally Posted by biscuits

Even being able to have a streak is an acomplishment.

Just read that and thought someone had been very brave and treated their neighborhood this Sunday morning!

And everyone has slip ups, hope this is day 1 of an even longer run of success :-)

[tryinghard]

This is kinda a difficult one to explain....

So here's what you need to know about the situ:
1) Last Jan I founded a comedy show
2) I then worked my arse off for six months to get that show together, running myself into pretty severe physical/mental exhaustion in the process
3) The show went quite well and the actors said they would like to be like other comedy shows by having a more equal arrangement where they also write the show.
4) I was kind of unsure about what my role would be if I was just writer and they were writer/performers, and felt that unlike other comedy shows this would mean me being somewhat excluded...but didn't want to petty and potentially make the show less good by refusing stuff out of emotional baggage, so said yes, of course
5) After this decision, the actors tend to have rehearsals without me, I hear about decisions after they've been made, even when applying to festivals I don't get CC'd on the email
6) This leaves me feeling excluded but also just upset because I put so much work in as a founder and I feel like I've lost my 'baby' (the show) that I put so much of myself into. It occurs to me the others can't possibly understand my emotional attachment to the show and how important it is to me (never done anything like this before and the show was like a big signal to myself of 'now, we start life') So they don't know all the psychological baggage that is wrapped up in this.

Leading me to my achievement,....I didn't want to be petty or sensitive about it so I was putting off saying anything, but tonight when I sent them a bunch of dates the rehearsal room was free and they were once again arranging a date I couldn't make, I messaged to explain that I would really appreciate being there whenever possible and although I knew I wasn't as 'needed' as them at rehearsals, it just helps me feel part of it and helps me stay engaged, with a smiley face and stuff.

The one who I most think hopes I just quit said 'yeah well let's just see what everyone's availability is', but I'm just kind of glad I said somehting because I've been so worried about appeairng over sensitive if I explain that I do actually want to be at rehearsals and stuff. I don't want relationship stuff to come above work stuff, because that would drive me crazy personally, but I want there to be a kind of nod to both in that I would like people to know I have an attachment to the show and want to be part of it and that that's probably quite natural after all the work I put in and how close to it I was.

So i'm kinda proud of myself for saying something.

[Laura84]

Originally Posted by Lyra Silvertongue

Thanks guys. I didn't do it badly at all, I'm just annoyed at myself for ruining my streak. Back to Day 1 again now I guess.

Try and look at the bigger picture.. you've had 1 slip up in all that time. That's some achievement. Now you go again

[tryinghard]

Well done for pushing through Flumpsy but make sure you don't overextend yourself!

I am already regretting having said anything, I feel stoopid and like maybe I look emotional or mental, but I think I will get over it. It's only natural to have feelings and it's the braver thing to do to admit to them.

[Indigo_]

Made it up to the high street on my own this morning and used the self-checkout at the supermarket, which I have a major fear of using on my own. Everything went fine, no problems

[tryinghard]

Originally Posted by flumpsy

^ thanks, just a tough period at work at the moment for me, things will die down soon. Plus pushing hard on the personal SA achievements too, it all kind of adds up. Plus mondays are the worst.

Sounds like you're diong great Try to make sure you give yourself plenty of downtime too, though when you are able. You deserve a rest after all that pushing!

I am forever spending time wondering if I made myself look strict or mental over some tiny detail that I find important (but am not confident is), these things are far far less important to other people then yourself. I often feel like I threw all my toys out the pram but when I sound people out the next day they didnt even notice.

Yes, I've apologised to people before for 'snapping' and they've looked at me like: You did what? I didn't notice....haha, I'm probably not being as unfair as I think I am, and actually today I'm starting to realise just how angry I am about the whole thing. I don't know if it's petty or not to be angry, but every 'normal' person I have spoken to has reacted with anger because I guess people outside of the industry are like: So you put all this work in and then it just gets swiped away from you? It's different when you're just a writer and the show then gets performed without your input, that's pretty normal, but it's when you were part of a 'group', and then you basically feel shoved out of that group...on the application for the last festival, the actor described our company as a "trio" (just them three), listed them by name, and didn't mention me at all I don't know if that's just the normal way writers are treated, so I don't want to overreact, but at the same time it's such a big loss to me because this was such a massive part of my life and a really big statement to myself. I feel like I couldn't bear losing it. Sorry, just moaning now, I think if I attach less of myself to the show and start to value other parts of my life all of this will feel less precarious and emotional for me.

[tryinghard]

Originally Posted by HelloSunshine

Made it up to the high street on my own this morning and used the self-checkout at the supermarket, which I have a major fear of using on my own. Everything went fine, no problems

Wow! That's excellent!

[Z.]

Originally Posted by HelloSunshine

Made it up to the high street on my own this morning and used the self-checkout at the supermarket, which I have a major fear of using on my own. Everything went fine, no problems

Nicely played my dear

[Indigo_]

Thanks SuBo and biscuits

Originally Posted by Luna.

Well done sounds like excellent practice for... something.

I'm not sure what you mean

I also managed nearly six hours in London this evening too. Not on my own this time but I still think it's quite an achievement considering how low I've been feeling recently.

[Abigail Hobbs]

Originally Posted by biscuits

Good stuff Kafkafan, tryinghard and Hello Sunshine

I asked a man in Holland and Barrett if they have vegetarian marshmallows. I'd been in before, but got too scared to ask because I thought the request might make me sound like a bit of a boob!

He was like, "Have you tried them before? They taste weird!" Great sales assisting there!

I actually prefer it when sales assistants are honest and real about shit like that.

[tryinghard]

Thank you for your support Ian. Massive congrats on your achievements! I find it really difficult to follow up on stuff like you did with the Meet Up lady and the phone numbers; I think you did great there! And on your other achievements as well, of course. Doing something differently after 10 years is a real milestone in my opinion Hope you're feeling a lot better now as well than you were the other day!

[tryinghard]

^Oh that's good! I had not noticed that at all. Thank you for saying so.

[Z.]

^ Nice one flumpster

[Indigo_]

I went swimming this morning. I walked there on my own, rather than drive and swam 20 lengths in the pool. I went with someone this time but I'm thinking I might go for a solo swim on Sunday

[Z.]

Originally Posted by HelloSunshine

I went swimming this morning. I walked there on my own, rather than drive and swam 20 lengths in the pool. I went with someone this time but I'm thinking I might go for a solo swim on Sunday

Nice one I haven't been swimming in ages

[Abigail Hobbs]

I went into New Look and Superdrug and made small talk with both the cashiers. It confirmed for me that I'm not a likeable person but I'm much less awkward when I'm not trying to be a likeable person.

[-Simon-]

Posted my profile on a couple of walking companion websites - didn't get any responses but f*ck em, I tried.

[Oddity]

How did it confirm you're not likeable?

[Abigail Hobbs]

I just don't get along with women, really. I'm too sarcastic, miserable and opinionated. I'm not likeable generally but I notice it more around women because they expect more conversation from me.

Thanks Cordyceps. That GIF is awesome.

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by flumpsy

^ woah, swimming can be a tough one, I dont have body issues or anything but there is lots I do have issues about when wandering around carrying my own pants trying to work out how to get my massive boots to fit in a tiny locker without wandering too far and ending up in a family cubical. Well done indeed.

I was surprised I even managed to fit into my swimming cossie

[-Simon-]

Originally Posted by SASSYman_Ian

Simon, there is still time for a response and well done for posting (can you give me those website URLs please) and if you haven't already, try Find Friends For Fun, which might work - just don't tell people who answer to "mind your own goddam business"!

Ha, maybe that's where I've been going wrong all these years.
here's the ones I've recently joined
http://www.go4awalk.com/
https://www.outdoorduo.co.uk/
With the first there is no way of telling how old some of the profiles are unless a date is mentioned and I don't think it's a very active site. I actually joined a few years ago and did meet up with some individuals for walks but I then started using meetup which led to me being a repeat attender on some walks and I even did a camping trip with them one weekend. Unfortunately I was too busy with work and childcare to commit more regularly and the group is now oversubscribed. The second is a bit more like a dating site although I have selected 'friendship only' in an effort to keep the ladies from beating a path to my door. They seem to organize quite a few meets but there is a subscription to pay if you want in, I'll consider it if I see anything that I might want to go on.

Originally Posted by SASSYman_Ian

HS, I would love to be able to swim, well done for walking there on your own and I look forward to hearing about your solo swim.

do it! I learned when I was 40 by signing up to adult swimming lessons. I now swim regularly and am so glad I learned. It's great for fitness but not exactly a social activity.

[blancmange]

Well done to everyone kicking SA's ass!

I'm really pleased with my progress today. I had an appointment with my support worker and another person (I don't even know the job title) lol and I had to fill out one of those forms which I absolutely hate doing but I did it and I managed to speak this time! It's the first time I've spoken to someone in ages. I'm really happy with that.

[newbs16]

Originally Posted by Dimplesxo

Well done to everyone kicking SA's ass!

I'm really pleased with my progress today. I had an appointment with my support worker and another person (I don't even know the job title) lol and I had to fill out one of those forms which I absolutely hate doing but I did it and I managed to speak this time! It's the first time I've spoken to someone in ages. I'm really happy with that.

mega proud of you xx

[Rocket Spud]

Well done, folks, much good doing here of late!

As for me, well, i'm back in the saddle again! Just completed my first session on the rower after resting an injury these past few weeks (since the 2nd Oct., actually). Took it easy, but clocked an alright time, so, yeah ..

[newbs16]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Well done, folks, much good doing here of late!

As for me, well, i'm back in the saddle again! Just completed my first session on the rower after resting an injury these past few weeks (since the 2nd Oct., actually). Took it easy, but clocked an alright time, so, yeah ..

Do you exercise regularly?

[Rocket Spud]

^^ Fairly frequently, yeah. I'd say about 7-9 activities per week.

^ Well played, e/o

[blancmange]

Well Done Flumps, Rocket Spud & E/O. Great going!

Originally Posted by flumpsy

^ well done dimples, so a meeting with two other people and filling in a horrid form too. Was that in front of them ? Sounds awful. I cant even get to a GP in order to consider a support worker so Any pre-arranged appointment is a problem in itself for many of us. I avoid set times and do everything spur of the moment when I can.

Thanks Flumps. Yeah I had to fill the form out on their laptop in front of them. I'm surprised I did it myself actually. I find it really off putting being watched and having someone wait on me.

Originally Posted by newbie2013

mega proud of you xx

Originally Posted by craigissad

Well done Dimples, you should be really proud of yourself.

Thank you!

[Phantomy]

I went to a bank account review at my local branch

I never need to set foot in a bank but I got a phone call about having a review last week and I said yes.

I was arguing in my head about actually turning up to it but I made myself go in the end because it was not fair on the person expecting me to turn up. This time last year I would not have bothered...