I went to a support group!

[Vicarious]

It was my first one and I am so glad I pushed myself to go. I found out about it earlier on in the week and had been worrying about it ever since, but knowing in the back on my mind that it was something I needed to do. It's the biggest step I've taken since my CBT course in spring/summer last year, and whilst it may not sound like a lot to some people I haven't stopped buzzing since I got back.

EDIT - I was so caught up in the excitement of doing this that I forgot to mention anyone else! I feel like a self-absorbed nob now! :embarass: I should mention that it was pjarnfield's first time at one of these too, and he did really well - proving to be a good public speaker. Everyone did really well, I'll see if I can remember all the names - Phil (pjarnfield), John (johntyboyoh), Nicola, Colin, Matt (I think? Could be wrong - I'm not amazing with names) and of course the people who organised it Adrian and Nicole. So thanks to all those guys and sorry for not mentioning you before - I was in my own little world yesterday!

Basically, it was a group of about 8 people who all have experienced SA in some form or other. We took turns to do a few different exercises that we would find nerve-wracking/unpleasant basically, so we could push through that anxiety. Exposure therapy really, or practise for the real world you might say. We started by individually introducing ourselves to the rest of the group and saying a little bit about ourselves. This was particularly difficult because at this point I hadn't really spoken to anyone and I find talking about myself difficult anyway. I didn't speak for long, but will push myself further next time.

The next exercise if I remember correctly was reading aloud. For this the rest of the group were seated in a semi-circle to create a sort of stage for the reader. Just the rearranged seating itself triggered my anxiety! We had to pick a chapter or poem from a selection of books and read it to the group until the timer went or we had done what we wanted. Again, I was bricking it and felt like my voice was trembling, throat was dry etc. but the feeling of achievement afterwards was amazing.

The final exercise was a choice of a few different things, of which I chose to be put on the spot with the group asking questions about myself because I knew I would find it difficult. For some reason, if people ask me questions about myself - what I do etc. my mind either goes blank or I end up stumbling over my words and feel really self-conscious. I never get out what I really could say because of the anxiety, and afterwards I usually think "why the hell didn't I mention that?". The prospect of being randomly questioned whilst stood infront of 7 seated people was a scary one! The first question was a bit nerve wracking as I answered, but to my surprise I actually started to find it easy and by the end of the questioning I was actually enjoying it! ENJOYING IT!

We had chance to talk about how we felt after each exercise which was good as it helped us understand exactly what it is about it we find difficult. The final part was unwinding a little in the local pub and just getting to know people really. It felt great being able to chat with people freely, and without alcohol! (shock, horror!)

Anyway, as you might have guessed I will be going to these again - weekly as spare time permits, and I really believe this is the start of me finding myself again. Each visit will chip away that little bit extra from the anxiety, and help me to push myself in everyday life. I actually can't wait for the next session and I know it's still going to be scary, but the important thing is that it won't be as scary as the time before, and it will continue to get better and better.

I suppose the real point to this post (besides my gratuitous back-patting :D) is that if you can get to something like this by bus, train, car, whatever - JUST DO IT. Seriously. It's damn scary at first (I actually felt physically sick as I approached that door!), but it really will help you. Just remember that everyone at these groups are going through the same sort of thing as yourself and will not judge you. They won't care if you muddle your words, go red or stammer etc. Theory is good and can set you some solid foundations, but you can't ignore practical experience for excellent results.

[AL'S UP FOR IT]

Well done!!!

I was thinking about coming to it myself, but I decided to give it a miss this time around.

Have you been to any of the social meets? They are pretty rewarding too... (The Manchester meets are brill)

[anxiousamy]

I'm glad you found it useful...I occasionally pop along (though I havent recently due to other commitments) and always find it helpful and actually quite enjoyable!hope to see you some time in the future xxx

PS- as AL says go to the meets, yes they're scary at first but everyone always ends up having a good night!

[paulthequiet]

Well done for going.

Might see you there some time as I went for a few weeks before christmas. Was planning to go today but I didn't feel up to it.

[Vicarious]

Thanks

Haven't been to one of the social meets yet, I will at some point though. The only problem with those is the money involved - because I live near Huddersfield the cost for getting myself back or driving and getting accomodation for the night, on top of the night out itself would be quite a bit I imagine. But yes, I will definitely come to some in the future. Can't beat a good night out!

[pjarnfield]

Hey Chris, glad you could make it. My first time today as well and i thought everyone did really well, you really did look like you were enjoying it when we woz asking the questions. I certainly enjoyed it and wish i could make it more often (damn football being played on a saturday). I felt really good doing the exercises and i know doing different ones each week will help me to overcome my problems. Getting to know everyone will be good as everyone seems really nice, especially Ady and Nicole, they have done a really good job putting this group together.

[Vicarious]

Yeah was good to meet you Phil, shame you can't make it more often. You're a good public speaker by the way!

Nicole and Adrian really have done a good job putting this group together, as fellow SAers it must take guts to organise something like this. What I like is the fact we can choose what to do, which means we get the opportunity to try something we find personally find difficult.

[Vicarious]

I've updated my original post so I don't sound like such a self-obsessed nobhead! :embarass:

[Jules07]

Nice work Tiger,
You didnt sound like a nobhead, this is the trophy room after all, youre allowed to congratulate yourself over advances youve made.
i did CBT a few years ago, and it made an enormous difference to my life, and still does. that stuff works.
cheers
Jules

[Vicarious]

Thanks

I just get paranoid about things like that I suppose!

I agree, CBT works well. I feel like a lot of it has faded since I did it though, and it's a shame I didn't know about support groups like these whilst I was undergoing my treatment - I believe it would have cemented it more. I've got Dr. Richard's set of tapes now though so I'm going to work through those for that extra bit of help.

[Left Of The Dial]

Well done for going to the support group. I really feel like i could do with going to these, sometime in the future...

[Tiger]

Well done to all who went.

I would recommend you do a search on a thing called 'Moodgym' and click on the link to access, or read Gillian Butlers book 'Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness, both are excellent on CBT techniques and keep them fresh in the mind.