what job would suit me?

[strangelittlegirl]

Hi all, I feel really anxious and depressed about myself today and was wondering if anyone knew of what sort of job would suit people with SA....i currently clean offices at the moment which i find boring as i need my mind to be stimulated but i dont have the confidence to do anything else and its making me worse!

[Freespirit]

I am really not sure strangelittlegirl. Many jobs involves some things that people with sa will find difficult. If you are looking to improve your career i think looking at overcoming your sa would be a first step. Once you feel more confident about yourself and around other people you will be in a better position to actually decided what job you would really like.

sorry to hear your not feeling great today, life can do that to us when we are stuck in job's we dont like and don't seem to be doing what we'd really like to do in life. It can bring you down. So today is a good day to think about how your going to change that.

Hope i have helped (which i clearly haven't) and all the best. Darren

[strangelittlegirl]

Thank you darren...you have made me feel a little better! I am trying to deal with my s.a and am on medication but i feel that i will be like this forever and am just naturally shy and my life is just gonna pass me by. I can't go on like this any longer....its affecting my relationship,social life and i know no one likes me in work because i dont say very much....arrrghhh

[Freespirit]

Originally Posted by strangelittlegirl

Thank you darren...you have made me feel a little better! I am trying to deal with my s.a and am on medication but i feel that i will be like this forever and am just naturally shy and my life is just gonna pass me by. I can't go on like this any longer....its affecting my relationship,social life and i know no one likes me in work because i dont say very much....arrrghhh

aww sounds bad.

I don't think you will be like that forever. It may take alot of time patience, perisistance and hard work on your part but i do believe these problems can be beaten. Also you have recconised you have a problem and you have already made steps to becoming better.

I do think if you are stuck in a job you do not like it can make everything else in your life alor more difficult. I have recently left my job becuase it really got me down. I do feel better now but i am still need to find a job that i would be able to cope with.

If you need a chat at all please pm if you like.

Your doing well though...your heading in the right direction.

[strangelittlegirl]

I hopeso....i just feel that people all around me are talking about me because of it and then i convince myself that they don't like me which hurts even more. by the way i tried to pm you but it wouldnt let me....maybe because im a new member?

[Freespirit]

Originally Posted by strangelittlegirl

I hopeso....i just feel that people all around me are talking about me because of it and then i convince myself that they don't like me which hurts even more. by the way i tried to pm you but it wouldnt let me....maybe because im a new member?

Hmm..might be, i'll pm you and we can see if you can reply.

what you are saying there is classic symptoms of sa btw - we think other are analysing our behaviour and talking about us, so then we feel that they do not like us, we fel hurt so we distance ourselves and we end up feeling lonely.

EDIT: Well i did try to pm you but you don't seem to be able ro recieve them. It might be becuase you are new. hopefully a moderator could answer this for you.

[strangelittlegirl]

ok thank you BFG...i will give that a go.

[strangelittlegirl]

Hmmm that is true darren...deep down i was hoping you would say i didn't have S.a.....perhaps its just that i have never admitted to anyone that i have it and when i went to the doctors i just said i was depressed because i just wasn't brave enough to mention it
I shall have to ask a moderator about these pms!

[Freespirit]

Well you may not have SA, I am just saying what i see from what you wrote. Talking to your doctor is a good idea. Talking to anyone helps and you will find losts of support here, wether you do or do not have SA. Be honest with yourself and what you find difficult and hopefully you'll start to learn more about your mental health.

I have strayed off the topic of this thread - so i'll leave it there for now. Feel free to ask me anything you like though

[strangelittlegirl]

thanks bfg....i tried it and my personality was pretty accurate although it didnt really help me pick an ideal career lol

[strangelittlegirl]

ah i see...ok i will try that...thanks.

[mico]

you can't PM until you've made 5 or 10 posts, or something like that.

What kinda job? Who knows. I don't know many people who know suitable jobs. Jobs are just generally crap anyways, but if there's something you want to do, see if there's anything you can do to get you closer to doing it ...far to many 'do's' there

Welcome to SAUK strangelittlegirl.

[strangelittlegirl]

Hiya mico...my pms are working now thanks! I agree that most people probably hate their jobs anyway but i feel my s.a is holding me back from all my dream jobs because they all require outgoing people....so i just wondered if anyone had any idea of interesting jobs that would suit shy people who would prefer to work alone or with a small group of people? maybe im just destined to go from one dead end job to another because people find being around me uncomfortable

[mico]

Can completely relate to you strange one, but just remember that when they put "good communication skills required" in job advertisements, it usually means "can you say 'yes', or 'no'? Nod your head even?"

If thou seek, ye shall find.

[strangelittlegirl]

Yes thats true mico but most of the fun jobs i see people doing are full of loud and outgoing people......i wish i was like that

[portia]

Originally Posted by strangelittlegirl

Yes thats true mico but most of the fun jobs i see people doing are full of loud and outgoing people......i wish i was like that

Hi Strangelittlegirl,

I have to say that that is exactly how i feel at the moment i work in an office and i fnd that i think people are talking about me or give me strange looks because im so weird and i do want to be outgoing and loud, but somehting in my head holds me back, an di find that i pray that the person next to me wont try to talk to me because ill just end up thinking y am i like this its like a circle nothing i can do can stop me feeling like this because deep down i beleive i want to feel like this to like protect myself from the social situations that you have to be in when you make friends.

i hate being like this but i find it hard not to want to keep my guards up and just be on my own because then i no noone can reject me. and its hard because when i am being confident its fake and then i just think to myself they all thnk your strange just shutup cos noone wants to speak to you.

its really hard buti understand everything your saying!!! x x x

[scarlet_diva]

Originally Posted by portia

Hi Strangelittlegirl,

I have to say that that is exactly how i feel at the moment i work in an office and i fnd that i think people are talking about me or give me strange looks because im so weird and i do want to be outgoing and loud, but somehting in my head holds me back, an di find that i pray that the person next to me wont try to talk to me because ill just end up thinking y am i like this its like a circle nothing i can do can stop me feeling like this because deep down i beleive i want to feel like this to like protect myself from the social situations that you have to be in when you make friends.

i hate being like this but i find it hard not to want to keep my guards up and just be on my own because then i no noone can reject me. and its hard because when i am being confident its fake and then i just think to myself they all thnk your strange just shutup cos noone wants to speak to you.

its really hard buti understand everything your saying!!! x x x

You know I go through this every day, at work - paranoid that anyone will speak to me, and convinced that everyone hates me, all that lovely stuff.

But you know we need to give ourselves a break, at least we manage to turn up every day despite depression/SA, what have you; so we should give ourselves credit.
I mean I hate being around people with a passion but I still manage to get here, I get all my work done (in between dipping in & out of SAUK ), but I try not to think of the social aspect of it too much or I'll just drive myself crazy. I'm happy to be considered 'the quiet one' - or even 'the obnoxious one' or 'the weirdo'. I doubt they really think anything at all, though, everyone's far too busy worrying about themselves & that's the truth.

Actually my new role starting this year is going to involve a lot more contact with other staff, which will be a nightmare for sure but I reckon I'll just look at it as a challenge & might not be as scary as I think. Things are often a lot less frightening than we imagine them to be.

Obviously, only you know what you enjoy and are good at Strangelittlegirl.

Do you prefer quiet environments? Somewhere where little interaction is required and you can just get on with things? If so, maybe library or office work could suit you.

Consider whether your 'dream job' involves engaging with lots of people. For example, if your SA were to vanish, do you see yourself doing things like travelling around, meeting clients, giving presentations. Or do you still see yourself working alone most of the time?

The more jobs you do the more you'll see that for most people a job is just a job. Unless you have a real desire to be a say a doctor or a lawyer or teacher, chances are you will probably end up doing something that suits you and pays ok, as most people do.

[strangelittlegirl]

Thank you guys for your advice! well i worked in an office before and found it boring sitting at a desk all day also when the phone rang and it was a customer complaint i couldn't deal with it and my voice wasn't confident enough so i left that job...i think a library would bore me to tears too unfortunately, i really want to be around nice friendly people and do something reasonably interesting but the thought of trying to relax and be myself around people terrifies me,can any of you relate to this too?

[strangelittlegirl]

p.s i agree with you scarletdiva.....we really should give ourselves credit for even making it to work despite the fact that we have s.a. I really don't know how we do it....but i suppose its because we have to go to earn a living....i just wish we felt the same about talking to people!

I do relate to what you say. But as it's already been suggested, it will probably help you to address your SA before you set off on deciding your future career.

Once you've managed to overcome or manage your fears of interacting with people, you'll probably get a clearer picture of what it is that you really want to do and what you're suited to. Good luck.

[strangelittlegirl]

thanks! I agree that i need to work hard on my sa but i just can't seem to motivate myself the way i'm feeling around people at the moment and i can't help but feel that my s a embarrasses me so much that im just going to be a lost cause....sighhhh

[scarlet_diva]

Originally Posted by strangelittlegirl

p.s i agree with you scarletdiva.....we really should give ourselves credit for even making it to work despite the fact that we have s.a. I really don't know how we do it....but i suppose its because we have to go to earn a living....i just wish we felt the same about talking to people!

Yep unfortunately it sucks to work with SA, it's a constant battle but ....what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, as they say I suppose we have to look at it that way. It's worth the struggle, I think.
Whatever gets us through ..(thank God for iPods being allowed at my place, for one thing, so people aren't expected to chatter. Urggh.)

Sorry I can't offer advice re: what kind of job you could be looking into, because I am really the last person who can talk about that, I'm so rubbish in this respect.

All my life I've always just grabbed the first job available, because of my deep insecurities and anxiety, paranoia, depression etc. I've never been able to really follow any kind of career path.
I hope you are able to, though!! I wish I had the strength and willpower and confidence to do that as I wouldn't be half as miserable as I am, if I was doing something I enjoy for a living & with people I liked.

Best of luck though whatever you end up deciding to do. I think there's a book you could look at, too actually - the title is something like What's the colour of your parachute? I've heard it can be helpful, but I haven't read it so please don't shoot me if it's totally lame!!

In terms of finding a place with friendly people, I think that's more a case of pot luck really, as you can't predict what kind of industries have friendlier people, etc. I think in all my jobs I've got on fairly well with everyone, but just haven't been able to socialise in any way shape or form... so I'm just pleasant and professional. That's about as good as it gets for me.

[strangelittlegirl]

thanks....yeah i understand scarletdiva. I have just moved from one dead-end job to another because of this as i feel that people just get fedup with me being quiet....then i panick that they are bitching behind my back after trying to get to know me which upsets me so much that i end up leaving. I think if we could just gain more confidence in ourselves we could all follow a career path that we would enjoy. you are lucky that you come across as pleasant and professional as that helps get you by each day,also i wish my place allowed ipods then i wouldnt have to make smalltalk with people :embarass: Im sorry i cant offer you advice too but i suppose its better to know that there are people here that feel exactly the same as its a little bit of support. thanks for the book recommendation!

[Tiger]

Perhaps you could look for a job that you can use your illness as an advantage, such as the NHS.

They are quite active in employing people who have used the service, and can then assist others in recovering.

At least you could 'be yourself' and get ongoing support to help you.

Good luck!