Helping the housebound / SA Charity

[custardcreams]

Originally Posted by Quiet bloke with cow

We may have bumped into each other at some point then
(Hope that doesn't freak you out)

you work for them then? it wouldnt freak me out if we had! but i'm only a befriender (not 'proper' work ) so it's unlikely. i've only really met my co-ordinator, and just sat in their offices waiting to speak to her without really talking to anyone else.

[Sandyjw]

Great idea as there is lack of help out there for the housebound. I wouldn't mind being a voluntary buddy in my local area.

[Medea]

Originally Posted by voodoochild529

Is SAUK not a charity? The web address has a '.org' meaning it is an organisation. Could it not be expanded some how?

Does anyone actually know the founder of this place

IIRC there were two sites that merged into one. None of those people are still about (unless they're hiding). It's not a charity as that's a bloody hard thing to set up (as I said earlier), just a support site. All the mods/ops/website designers are volunteers.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by Stainy

People need to be more assertive and just go for it

So you're coming to my London meet then?

http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=42728

[cheesehoven]

I certainly think a specific Social anxiety/phobia charity is an outstanding idea. It surprises me that there is not one already, now I come to think about it. While internet resources such as this one are valuable, a dedicated charity designed to promote this condition (which you rightly say BM that the medical profession is almost totally ignorant of) and provide information to people is an idea whose time has come. I would be prepared to help out in anyway and being associated with SA no longer bothers me.
The befriending part is more problematic for the reasons others have stated.

[artist23]

Isnt that what social workers are for? to help people in the community with mental health issues and to liase with the gp.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by abc2

I'm not sure how something like this would work though. I don't think many people would actually understand it or see why it is necessary.

It doesn't matter that many people don't understand why it is neccessary, if some people need it and some people can help, then we should go for it.

But to be honest I am confused as to what social skills really means, and what sort of things you would want to learn? Any ideas? Are we talking about simple things like how to have a conversation? Or something more fundamental?

Originally Posted by artist23

Isnt that what social workers are for? to help people in the community with mental health issues and to liase with the gp.

I was thinking more along the lines of a buddy than a worker, someone with whom the SA person can get comfy with and maybe take some small baby steps ith exposure or just leaving the house and having someone there for support.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by HaveANiceDay

Stefano (of SASH) is / was keen to set up something like this.

Thanks.

I think it's better to join forces with Anxiety UK on all the issues discussed, since they got the whole registered, award-winning charity thang going on.

I need to have a bit more of a think. Perhaps some of us who are interested in helping could meet up...I'll get in touch with Stefano as well.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by Dryslyd

I had a ridiculous dream not so long ago that everyone from SAUK got together in costumes (incognito) and started dancing an already coreographed dance in various city centres, to raise awareness for SA. We were no.1 on the YouTube end of year most watched vids or virals or whatever they're called........silly huh?!

WOW this sounds ace let's do it!!

PS. link doesn't work.

[José Raúl Capablanca]

hi your based in Bristol arn't you? perhaps this would interest you.

Role Ref: BT2088
Role Title: Befriender
Role Location: Second Step (Link Up) - Bristol & Surrounds
Role Hours: Flexible (min 3 hours per week)

ROLE DESCRIPTION:

We are recruiting people with lived experience of mental health issues who feel that they are at a point in their recovery that they can provide peer support to somebody with mental health issues. We offer training support and supervision to all volunteers. The volunteer will take part in two stages. The first is the peer support stage; volunteers are matched for three months to provide peer support in pairs. The second stage is befriending where volunteers are matched with Second Step service users to provide befriending support for 6 months.

[black_mamba]

^Did you mean me Bennite? I'm in London.

I like volunteering but am too busy with other volunteering duties to do anything else right now.

I suppose because befriending service is already around other people have obviously ironed out any associated problems.

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by abc2

I don't know really. Just learning how to act in social situations, how to have conversations etc. I don't really know because I haven't learnt it. What I think would be good, but probably very difficult to organise, is some sort of meetings where people could be helped to learn these things without fear of judgement or criticism. An environment where people are under no pressure to do things that they are uncomfortable with, and where you will not be labelled cold and anti-social if you don't seem very friendly or talkative. I'm really not sure how anything like this could be organised, where it would take place or anything like that.

I'm not being flippant but sa uk meets are like that for me. I can go and not say anything and no one judges me.

As I've said before with any of my meets you are welcome to come along and just be a fly on the wall and not say a word.

But yes I do see what you mean about social skills, if you haven't learnt them the normal way through interaction and practice and generally messing around with friends throughout your childhood then it has to be learnt. I didn't have any friends growing up so I was in the same situation.

How to teach basic social skills is a bit of an odd one thought, you're right it's hard to think how we could help others. The problem is also that there are very few 'rules' and teaching someone how to behave is just wrong, as it may go against their personality.

Argh this is difficult!!

[G-1]

Originally Posted by abc2

from what I gather sa meets aren't really designed specifically to help people improve their social skills and gain more social experience, they're mainly for people to meet friends they've made online in person.

I'm pretty sure though that if I was to turn up to an sa meet and act the way I usually do I would not be welcome, and that my lack of social skills would cause problems. To be honest what I want is to be taught things that cannot really be taught. Some sort of magical school of social skills. A nice thought but it's never going to happen as there isn't any sort of specific way of "teaching" them.

I think that SA meets do also exist to help people gain social experience.... I certainly see them as more of a "stepping stone" to making friends without SA..... And I also highly doubt that you wouldn't be welcome if you turned up and didn't say anything.... I've found people to be very non-judgmental at the few I've been to.

I do think social skills can be learned too..... I've read things that give you the basics of how conversation works, how to make small talk, ask the other person questions to show an interest in them, tell stories that are related to the discussion, etc. Personally I feel that I do have those skills, for me it's just about feeling relaxed enough around people to be able to do it...... maybe you;d be better at it if you could expose yourself to the situation enough that your anxiety was reduced? Or do you think the lack of taking part would maintain your anxiety?

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by G-1

Personally I feel that I do have those skills, for me it's just about feeling relaxed enough around people to be able to do it......

You are actually one of the best conversationalists I know from this site you seem to talk with so much ease IRL. I could never emulate that and I think abc is the same as me, we never really talked much when we were younger and speaking now feels very forced and laboured. I'm not saying you have it easy by any means, and I know you were talking about yourself personally only...I just mean that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to learning social skills and removing the anxiety is only half the problem for some of us.

For some it's just a case of getting rid of the anxiety, for others, it's a case of having to learn from scratch which is what I did.

Anyway, I have lots more to say on this topic, will get back to it when I have more time.

[blubs]

Hi Bm,
For what it's worth, I think this is a great idea. I've had a volunteer come weekly, not through a mental health charity, but through a parenting charity. It was only coincindental that she had sufferred sa when she was younger, but having her to chat to, & just to take an interest in my welfare has done me the world of good. I suppose it is what other people get from their friends or from parents, but if you don't have any support in that respect, then a volunteer can be invaluable. I think existing mental health charities are a good place to start.

[rackha]

When im better (!) I would love to be able to help someone. Although i suffer more from agoraphobia, so i guess it would be better for me to be a buddy to another agoraphobic person, but then there is crossover.....

Am reseraching on the Net now, if i was in bristol i would go for the above mentioned volenteering position!