I'm getting a vasectomy.

[Ryerbu]

Every single decision we make now may be regretted in time (including choosing inaction, not taking opportunities etc). As long as you take it into consideration, I don't see it should be a major reason not to go for it. There are downsides beyond the fear of regret such as post-vasectomy pain but I'd say it could be an empowered decision.

From what I've read heard and watched. It can be extremely empowering. The only people who oppose and don't agree with that statement are those who haven't had it done or really looked into it.

Ajax, thanks for the input. I've read it all and has actually made me think more deeply into it and not jump to such a drastic decision so quickly. I will read up on the "attachment theory" and see where it leads me.

There are certainly people in this world who should never have kids, I just don't think you are one of them

Armadillo, you darl.

It just seems pointless to deny Future Ryerbu the option, when there's currently no benefit.

Peace of mind is a pretty nice benefit.

As per usual, I agree with what Hermann has said, I would add though that I don't know why anybody would want to bring children into a world like this regardless.

If down the line you decided you do want children, you can actually do something useful by adopting, rather making new children when there are already children that need homes.

An open minded individual who agrees with the fact that there is already enough vermin on this planet(us), to then add to that number I feel is silly. Thank you my friend.

I never said that you might change your mind.

The shrug emoji was used because you seem to be suggesting that having a child with SA is a life sentence over that child's head. Living with SA is incredibly difficult to grow up with, I'm not denying that, I've been through it. But to quote Mo from earlier "you can be a nice and worthwhile person with sa. We're hardly the scum of the earth." If you're getting a vasectomy to ensure you don't bring a child into this world who may later develop SA then I think you're making this decision for the wrong reasons. Having SA is not a life sentence. With the correct support network around you you can still live a fulfilling life. I know I do.

I know you didn't say that, and I shouldn't have used quotation marks. But it was the general aura I was feeling from the post.

Thank goodness. For a lot of people it has been a life sentence. I'm sure a few on here would agree. I'm not just doing it due to having god awful genes. I'm doing it for other reasons also. You're emphasizing that I'm doing this solely on the reason that I may pass over a genetic disposition. Not the case, but it is a pretty big factor. Where I live, I have the most horrific support network (in terms of the NHS). Was on a waiting list for over a year for any kind of CBT therapy. Then all I got was a letter to do it online which I thought would include me and the therapist using a mic. Not the case. Was literally all typed messages. I know the NHS is going down the pan and has been going through a controlled demolition over the last 10 years. So I cannot blame the NHS itself, Just the powers that be which are behind it. And where I live there are very few mental health charities, even then they are more aimed at depression, bi-polar,schizophrenia and other mental disorders. Not SA.

lol

I've read reports of them going wrong. Arteries being cut so a ball or two turns into a prune and your test levels go to shit. Muscles tissue being damaged, pain as well.

Don't do it!

I've never heard of this . I'd be getting it done through a clinic which literally specialises in vasectomies. Not some back street dodgey clinic with a surgeon who has 0 surgical procedure qualifications.

The potential complications of a vasectomy are far too major for you to consider it at 21 IMO.

Why choose such a drastic, permanent option when you have such a vast array of contraceptive options available?

I'm not gonna condescend you with platitudes such as 'when you meet the right person...', 'children are a joy...' etc. If you don't want kids, that's fine. But there's no need to mutilate your body. To me, it looks like a bold attempt to prove yourself, your choice and your pride, an 'I'll show you' stunt, which you will regret later. Not because you'll change your mind, necessarily, but because it's a whole lot of effort, cost and pain for nothing. Not having kids is easy as hell in this day and age, plenty of people make the choice without making themselves sterile, why put yourself through that simply to make a point?

Plus, the whole 'people who have SA shouldn't have kids' shit really, really bothers me. I don't think people realise the road this type of thinking leads to. I'd love to know how you feel about physically disabled people having kids.

Pew Pew . But in all seriousness. Some very valid points and some not so.
The "I'll show you" yea. You're probably right. But I feel I wont regret it. the effort, cost and pain are actually surprisingly low, I have no idea where you've got these images painted from. You're right, it is easy as hell. Just use a rubber each time. I'd rather do that than for a girl to either have the implant in her arm for 5 years/be on the pill which screw with the body so much over extended years of use. Good short term perhaps. And yes, there are other contraceptive methods. But I'd rather have peace of mind that I'd never be able to spawn a mini-me by getting a vasectomy.

Not even going to respond to the last part. It would result to something akin to a truck ton of shit plowing into a fan factory if I did speak my mind.

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by David K

Did you know that many people out there want to pack their bowels with broken glass and then sit down heavily? They won't admit it, but they definitely want to do that.

Oh man

[Armadillo]

Originally Posted by winter*

Sorry i just think that's a very romanticized view.
Many people out there think the same thing at first but then soon realize after having kids it was a bad decision or they regreted having kids- They won't admit it- but they do regret having kids.

I wouldn't say it's 100% shackles and loss of freedom but i think certainly 90% is.

You cant get your head around it because you have never had kids. That's ok, but you are wrong.

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Armadillo

You cant get your head around it because you have never had kids. That's ok, but you are wrong.

There are of course people who do regret having children.

[Armadillo]

^ Yes, there are. But not the 'many people' that Winter suggests. I would say regretting having children is an exception to the rule.

[Ryerbu]

Originally Posted by HelloSunshine

Oh man

All I can hear is the *whoosh* of wind where this has gone over my head or that I just don't find it funny?. Where's the comedic value? Is there a back story?

[Ryerbu]

In conclusion. I'm going to put this decision which I've had since I was 19, and wait until I am 25. Others have said that adult maturity really comes into play at around the 25 years of age mark. If I feel the same then, and if I have a partner or not. I'm getting it done. The title of the thread still stands...I'm getting it done. That is set in stone.

All input has sunk in. A lot of it bias from people who have kids or are happy in their own bubble with a boyfriend seem to have a pretty high correlation against the idea with quotes such as "things change over time", "you'll regret it later down the line" and other remarks such as "costly, painful and a lot of effort" I in some ways agree, yet massively disagree. with all of them. Especially the last one.

Thanks to all for the input. It's given me a much broader picture of how against the idea people can be. My close close family are on board with it and say "if you feel that it's what you want to do, then do it" They understand my situation which I won't divulge on in a forum.

I'll still respond to as much as I can, But I am driving 290 miles north tomorrow and won't be able to respond until Thursday.

[Ryerbu]

Originally Posted by winter*

I have no idea what you're going on about

Join the party. Could somebody please explain?

[Coffee]

Originally Posted by Victoria Lucas

The potential complications of a vasectomy are far too major for you to consider it at 21 IMO.

Why choose such a drastic, permanent option when you have such a vast array of contraceptive options available?

I'm not gonna condescend you with platitudes such as 'when you meet the right person...', 'children are a joy...' etc. If you don't want kids, that's fine. But there's no need to mutilate your body. To me, it looks like a bold attempt to prove yourself, your choice and your pride, an 'I'll show you' stunt, which you will regret later. Not because you'll change your mind, necessarily, but because it's a whole lot of effort, cost and pain for nothing. Not having kids is easy as hell in this day and age, plenty of people make the choice without making themselves sterile, why put yourself through that simply to make a point?

Plus, the whole 'people who have SA shouldn't have kids' shit really, really bothers me. I don't think people realise the road this type of thinking leads to. I'd love to know how you feel about physically disabled people having kids.

This is soooo bang on!

My honest opinion, and you asked for it OP so I'm going to be blunt too, is that this kind of thinking is nothing more than mental masturbation masquerading as philosophy.

Even if I adopt your position that your genes need to be weeded out of the gene pool, which I don't, but if I did it still does not logically follow that you need the snip anyway.

All you need to do not have kids is wear a rubber, or your partner take the pill, or both. These things simply require mature discussion between partners, your dick is not going to start spontaneously impregnating people just because you've not had the snip!

Also, it is not well understood how having the snip can affect long term health. I bet you'll find a correlation between it, lower testosterone, and all kinds of resultant health risks over a long period of time.

In conclusion, don't go running off half cocked (!) and sleep on it for at least a decade or two.

[shadowonthewall]

It's morally a good idea to have a vasectomy. I won't have one, because I'm homosexual and even if I weren't, it would be unlikely that I'd ever be having regular sex.

By bringing a child into the world, you expose them, without their consent, to the risk of some terrible suffering. If they never exist, they will never miss the opportunities to have an enjoyable life. So refraining from imposing life on another organism is the moral course of action.

[Ryerbu]

Originally Posted by les

I am going to put my thoughts into the debate.
I have had a vasectomy and have never regretted it was a simple procedure lasting 30mins and watched the whole procedure and chatted to the doctor throughout so I can speak from experience.
However this may be a bit controversial and these are my thought's and not a platform for people to disagree or agree with.
The human brain does not fully mature until the age of 25 years, and I feel that people should not class themselves as a mature adult until then, things like drinking, smoking, getting married or having children should be put off until that age and I would say the same about medical procedures such as sterilisation and plastic surgery.
2nd point; Anxieties are not inherited but a learned disposition I had an elder brother who was very outgoing, he died in his early 30's and his funeral was a standing room packed church affair where as I won't be missed when I die and there is no family to attend my cremation, now we had the same genes but different upbringings, My brother was 9 years older than me and was brought up by our mum and dad, by the time I came along our over protective and slightly potty grandmother was living with us, (she did go on to develop dementia,) and she stopped me from going out on my own and kept me unintentionally isolated and socially stunted.
A clear case of nurture over nature.

My argument to the second point, is that my Sister has had the EXACT same upbringing as me, living primarily with my mother whilst my dad worked off-shore for 2/3 of the year. She has turned out to be the most self centered, attention seeking, loud and annoying person I know. She's been in work since she left highschool and has gotten to quite high places paying well... She is literally a mini-me of my father in female form. She even has his mothers genes of having ginger hair. So from my first hand experience, I can only disagree with this in my case.

[Stotch]

Originally Posted by HermannHesse

People saying you "should wait and see if you change you mind", to me, are missing the point.

It's known as an Odysseus pact: restricting the options of the future knowing full well that the what are perfectly sound and reasonable theories (in this case not passing on defective genes or patterns of psychology) can be undone by moments of temptation or weaker resolve. Odysseus had himself and his crew tied down in his ship so that the song of sexy Islanders couldn't lure them to destruction.

In other words, the fact you might change you mind is a reason to get the vasectomy not to avoid it, if you are certain of your beliefs. The world is full of crap parents (not in anway unique to those with disorders) who promised themselves when they were young they didn't want children and then... they did. Is the world better off now that children have to suffer the world these defective parents have created for them? No.

People saying "what I thought at 21 is different to what I thought at 31". Yeah, but maybe you were right then, and you're wrong now. Thoughts and feelings aren't correct just because they are current: they have to stand by themselves. It's arrogant to assume that the mere passage of time clarifies thoughts, maybe it just muddies them.

However, some remarks:

1. There is minimal social obligation or pressure now to have children. Especially as a man, it has never been as historically acceptable as it is now not to want children. You can commit yourself to no children without committing yourself to the snip.

2. However, this requires use of condoms or trust in women. There is a well known sexual phenomenon of women lying about being on the pill to get pregnant from men who don't want children. These "accidents", although not common, are very real. If a woman, deep down, wishes to get pregnant, her innate cunning and deception will reach its apotheosis: it is after her species being that is being realised.

This explains why feminists have protested the development of a male pill - women wish to hold onto this power over men.

Therefore, if you are serious about not having children and you don't have the vasectomy you must commit yourself to a life of protected sex. No exceptions. The women here saying that they don't want children aren't in the same boat as you: women aways have the final say on whether a baby is born, you as a man won't have. If she ends up pregnant and wanted the child, you may as well do what a sizeable number of men will do - go along with it and pretend that you also want the child - because you will be in the position of zero say, zero input and zero power to stop it.

3. However, if your SA is so bad that it shouldn't be passed on, then it is probably so bad that it won't be: women aren't going to want your child and options to have children will be few and far between. Contrariwise, if you have many opportunities to bring a child into the world, the fact that women are attracted to you is useful, but not perfect, barometer indicating that perhaps the SA isn't as bad as you think it is....

From a personal perspective, and as I used to be a member of VHEMT, I am in full favour of vasectomies. SA or not, the world simply doesn't need your child. I know full well that I would be a terrible father because I have no redeemable qualities whatsoever, but I am not snipped. I don't need to be. The women who might be brain dead and desperate enough to want a child with me (hypothetically) are women I won't in any way be attracted to. That's evolution for you: it has a way if slowly getting rid of the defective.

But it is a difficult decision and only you can decide.

Ps: I'm fairly sure vasectomies aren't as irreversible as they once were, so the whole discussion is probably moot?

Sorry but I had to quote this post... its insane (in a good way). You've got a good mix of mysogyny, insults and self deprecation. I've personally never come across the women you talk of, I mean where are these cunning, sperm hungry, baby obsessed women.

I like it though, theres logic to a lot of it and its the only non emotional response on here. You're not allowing his age to affect your response... so on paper you're right.

Heres my response to the OP... why not remove your testicles that way you will have no option of having kids ever. A Vasectomy is reversible, a scrotum amputation is not.

[Ryerbu]

Heres my response to the OP... why not remove your testicles that way you will have no option of having kids ever. A Vasectomy is reversible, a scrotum amputation is not.

A vasectomy is cheaper :D

[Mole58]

I've personally never come across the women you talk of, I mean where are these cunning, sperm hungry, baby obsessed women.

I have. Was once letting a person stay at my place, she was homeless at the time. Along the way she told me she was pregnant by the last bloke. Then a bit further along she said she was carrying my baby. When I asked her about this, she said she had had a miscarriage, but had overlooked telling me, or something. I was in mental torment for several weeks. Fortunately, for me anyway, she had another miscarriage. She had a very chaotic lifestyle - drugs etc. I couldn't handle her.

Anyway, aren't there enough people in this world? How many more billions are there going to be before somebody says Stop!?

From my life experiences, I can't really think why anyone would want a child. (It's being so cheerful that keeps him going)

[Ryerbu]

The time has come. My 25th birthday is upon us.

Things have changed in life significantly. I met my now fiancé 8 months ago and kids are now most definitely on the agenda, just not for another 4 or 5 years minimum.

Thanks for those who heavily suggested leaving this idea until at least the age of 25, I can not thank you enough.

Much love!!

[Dougella]

Wow, that's quite a change! Congratulations on meeting your fiance and perhaps you're a good example that people might want to wait a bit before making such a big decision. You can never really tell how you will feel until you are in a relationship.

[sillypenguin]

Congratulations and all. I know your circumstances have changed but might i just add that some people just NEVER want kids and will NEVER change their mind and that's ok too!! im 32 and honestly I'd get sterilised in a heart beat if it wasn't soo damn difficult to do. I'm beyond bored of people who say I'll change my mind. The world is overpopulated AF and I don't like kids so honestly why have them lol.

Still, i hope everything works out great for you in the future!

[Ryerbu]

Originally Posted by sillypenguin

Congratulations and all. I know your circumstances have changed but might i just add that some people just NEVER want kids and will NEVER change their mind and that's ok too!! im 32 and honestly I'd get sterilised in a heart beat if it wasn't soo damn difficult to do. I'm beyond bored of people who say I'll change my mind. The world is overpopulated AF and I don't like kids so honestly why have them lol.

Still, i hope everything works out great for you in the future!

Thanks Penguin! They have changed indeed. Absolutely, there are people who never want kids and who never will which is fine, I thought I was going to be in that boat for a long time. On the part where you say getting sterilised is so difficult, it depends on you gender perhaps? As a male it is not at all, there are many private clinics across the UK who will do the procedure for around £5-600. I had the exact same views around overpopulation etc, but everything is circumstantial and a lot of things change in a short period of time.

[BritishPeace]

I'd have to have sex for that to have any effect.

[sillypenguin]

Originally Posted by Ryerbu

On the part where you say getting sterilised is so difficult, it depends on you gender perhaps? As a male it is not at all, there are many private clinics across the UK who will do the procedure for around £5-600. I had the exact same views around overpopulation etc, but everything is circumstantial and a lot of things change in a short period of time.

I'm female and don't have any money to go private. It's not a massive deal it's just I've went pretty much my entire adult life with reproductive issues so I pretty much have to stay on contraceptive pill because I get really ill if i don't. It just doesn't make sense to have any fertility if it makes me physically unwell and I don't actually need it. I have a long term partner and he doesn't want children either but I'm gonna be stuck taking a pill until I hit menopause and honestly there must be a procedure that makes more sense than having crappy side effects for the next 20 years

[joe trite]

started thinking once about simple procedures regular people could perform with minimal training. is a vasectomy that difficult?

[Mr. Nobody]

^ Nah,..,simples, weeth vun leetil sneep, it's bye-bye babies,

Next,,...Brain surgery, how difficult can it be,..?
At least if it goes wrong there'll just be a gibbering drooling husk of a human left, so there'll be no complaints from the patients.

[DeeH]

Epic thread revival

[Raven.]

Originally Posted by joe trite

started thinking once about simple procedures regular people could perform with minimal training. is a vasectomy that difficult?

No. It's pretty straightforward. I had one at 27. I had to suffer the embarrassment of 6 spotty medical students watching it being done.

Let me talk you through it....

First, 2 of the largest needles you have seen are injected into both sides of the groin to anaesthetise the area. God, that hurt! That was the worst part. After about 10 minutes, the area was numb so the surgeon then got started. Nothing quite prepares you for the sight of someone holding a scalpel with the intention of cutting into your balls. Although there was no pain, I could feel a lot of quite violent tugging and pulling of the sperm tubes, and at one point he asked me if I wanted to see what was going on. Naturally I declined.

The tubes were then cauterised and, again, nothing prepares you for the sight of someone about to singe the inside of your balls with a red-hot cauterising instrument.

The whole procedure took about 30 minutes, then, after a cup of tea, I was kicked out. I had to hover above the seat on the bus home as the anaesthetic was starting to wear off, and I couldn't sit properly.

Over the next few days or so, the pain was unbelievable. Imagine being kicked in the balls repeatedly over 48 hours – that gives you an idea of the pain experienced.

Then the ‘black balls’ developed – intense bruising and swelling lasting about two weeks.

Apart from that, it was fine!

[Toxic]

^ Well

As someone who has no intention of ever having kids...the thought did cross my mind to get the snip if I ever found myself in a relationship again

..After reading that I think I'm just glad I'm not in a relationship so its not really needed

[sillypenguin]

Maybe it's just easier for guys. I think I'd get kicked out of the GP surgery if I asked for someone to scoop out my ovaries. Honestly they have been the bane of my life, most likely the cause of many health issues I've had too but nah its easier just to give me pills that poison my system more.

[sillypenguin]

A few times but they just decided to change my pill instead....its really difficult if you don't have kids, doctors just assume you want to breed even if you say you don't. Honestly I'm better waiting til im 35, I've heard it's easier to get the procedure done by then.