Fear of driving on motorways and dual carriageways

[Curlyfries23]

Has anyone suffered with this? It’s seems to get bad when my anxiety is bad. It’s makes me feel trapped.It might all be linked.

[Toxic]

I'd drive everywhere at about 3am if I could

not sure which I hate more..a built up area or motorways (Infact I've done my best to pretty much never drive on one!), yet I find it quite pleasant when the roads are dead!

Are you fine down smaller roads/city centres?

[Curlyfries23]

I’m fine on smaller roads and roads where I can just pull over and stop. Short dual carriageways seem to be fine as well.

[newbs16]

Is it the thought of it, or do you feel anxious while driving.?

[Curlyfries23]

I have been fine for years but I have been feeling good. Soon as I start feeling anxious again it comes back. I have driven a lot on motorways for work and my partners parents live far away. I need to be brave.

[newbs16]

^ Sometimes the thought of it is much worse than when actual driving, good luck.

[Mr. Nobody]

I know what you mean, I do find it a bit daunting, especially English motorways for some reason,

I have to do a 4 hour motorway drive a few times a year and really enjoy it, but it's up through incredible countryside in the Scottish highlands, and I always look forward to it,

But I find a lot of English motorways very bland, very similar and nondescript and I find it often feeling a bit relentless and unfamiliar, despite knowing the roads quite well,
I think it's this bland never-ending feeling and obviously the speeds involved and some of the awful, dangerous selfish driving (you see so much of now) that adds to the stress levels.

[emre43]

Yes, I have this, I avoid them at all costs and would rather take a longer route if it means avoiding a motorway.

[Avalon]

I don't enjoy driving, especially on the busy overcrowded roads down South, and just see it as a means to get from A to B.

I feel safer driving on narrow meandering country roads to motorways, that I avoid at all costs, which perhaps doesn't make much sense at all since apparently far more serious accidents occur on B roads than any other.

@ Kipling - your helpful advice to Curlyfries about staying in the slow lane behind lorries doing 40 or 60 would'nt be any good for me because it is the slow lane that the slip roads join on to that fill me with absolute horror!
Leaving the slip road and attempting to merge into fast moving traffic on the motorway when there is a safe gap causes me immense anxiety AND then when I'm on the motorway in the slow lane I'm fretting about other people coming on from the slip roads and colliding with me.

I think my fear stems from a scary motorway experience that occurred shortly after I'd passed my test where I was driving in the slow lane and a car pulled out from the slip road immediately in my path and I took avoidant action by pulling out into the middle lane right in front of a car. It missed me, but only just. I've gone out of my way to avoid motorways ever since which means driving hasn't offered me the freedom and independence that it should have

These days I rely on my husband to do the motorway driving which is a double edged sword because it means I have become even more of a nervous driver.

[Curlyfries23]

Just a bit of a update. I have managed to do some motorway and dual carriageway driving. I had to do some driving around Christmas to see my partners family. With some positive self talk and deep breathing I did ok. My hands did sweat a lot the first time I did it. But they are getting dryer on each journey. I did start reading a book called how to overcome the fear of driving. It did help me build up the courage to do it. I’m not completely comfortable with driving but it’s definitely improving.

[AnxiousExtrovert]

I used to drive everyday on a motorway and at first I had exactly the fears you are describing. After a while I got used to it and I would go into autopilot although that feeling in itself can be scary.

I did have some panic attacks while driving on the motorway and its a horrendous feeling and I remember when it happened I would focus directly at the car in front keeping my distance and then pull into a slower lane when given the opportunity. After a while the panic starts to subside but it did often start again. What I would tell myself is pull over and the next services and if I can't cope then I'll have to return home. I think the thought that if I have to quit there is a viable option helped and often gave me the strength to carry on.

[Formershyguy]

I avoid them too. I think its a fear of breaking down or having an accident or getting stuck! I don't like being in huge traffic build ups! I had a car that would overheat if it were stationary with the engine on too long so I would dread waiting at the lights.

Something I taught myself was to simply count the cars coming past me and it seems to calm me down.

I don't mind so much dual carriageways as I can do them when its not so busy, say in the afternoon before people finish work or late at night but I have only driven on a motorway twice ever!

[Orwell20]

Yes. We went to the south coast for Christmas, which meant a lot of driving for me. It was a nightmare. This country is so overcrowded, with so many goddam cars on the road, that you just don’t have an inch of space. There is no time to hesitate or make a mistake. If you do, someone is right on top of you, flashing their lights or yelling.

[AnxiousExtrovert]

Originally Posted by Avalon

@ Kipling - your helpful advice to Curlyfries about staying in the slow lane behind lorries doing 40 or 60 would'nt be any good for me because it is the slow lane that the slip roads join on to that fill me with absolute horror!
Leaving the slip road and attempting to merge into fast moving traffic on the motorway when there is a safe gap causes me immense anxiety AND then when I'm on the motorway in the slow lane I'm fretting about other people coming on from the slip roads and colliding with me.
.

Yes I agree with you about the slip roads and people joining. My preference is the fast lane because besides someone cutting in from the left side you can just focus on the car in front and keep distance. There are still disadvantages though like people going faster than the limit and flashing you to move over

[newbs16]

Originally Posted by Curlyfries23

Just a bit of a update. I have managed to do some motorway and dual carriageway driving. I had to do some driving around Christmas to see my partners family. With some positive self talk and deep breathing I did ok. My hands did sweat a lot the first time I did it. But they are getting dryer on each journey. I did start reading a book called how to overcome the fear of driving. It did help me build up the courage to do it. I’m not completely comfortable with driving but it’s definitely improving.

That is great news, well done

[gregarious_introvert]

It's great to hear that things have got better for you, Curlyfries; I hope you can put your fear of motorway driving behind you.

Can I clear a few things up (for some others who have contributed this thread): I know exactly what people mean when the term "slow" or "fast" lane is used, but these concepts don't actually exist in law. There is the inside lane and the overtaking lanes. The only lane anyone should be using is the inside (left) lane unless overtaking another vehicle, passing a queue of traffic (or being in a queue of traffic when there is another queue to the left) or moving across in advance of a slip road to afford safer access to vehicles merging from the slip road. If everyone drove according to the law, motorways would be safer (although it is true that most accidents don't happen on motorways - it's just that when they do, the consequences tend to be more severe).

Above all, though, please keep a safe space between you and the vehicle in front: it takes two seconds to recite "only a fool breaks the two second rule" (unless you say it really fast) and if you haven't finished saying it by the time you reach the point where the vehicle in front was when you started saying it (now I've written that, I'm not even sure if it makes sense!), then you're too close.

I know that merging onto a motorway can be daunting, particularly when not enough motorists think ahead and move over to leave the left lane clear (assuming that there's room to do so), but if you apporoach with a steady speed and assess the traffic you're joinjng, you should be able to filter in - and if there is a hard shoulder at the point where the slip road finishes, you always have an emergency back-up (it's usually better to use that than stop, it can be almost impossible to join a motorway from a standing start).

Personally, I find motorways and dual carriageways the easiest places to drive - at least you don't have to deal with head-on traffic (if you do, someone's done something horribly wrong) or (in the case of motorways) junctions, traffic lights, roundabouts, parked vehicles, pedestrians and the countless other hazards you'll find elsewhere. The motorways in the UK are far from the worst you'll find (although there a few countries - just a few - where motorway driving is easier) worldwide and you'll find, once you've gained a little confidence and got used to reading situations well in advance, that you'll wonder why you ever avoided them in the first place.

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[AireleeBray]

I'm terrified to ever go on the motorway, at the moment I'm still scared to drive anywhere, still

glad to see you faced your fear though im going to attempt going for a drive tomorrow

[AnxiousExtrovert]

Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert

There is the inside lane and the overtaking lanes. The only lane anyone should be using is the inside (left) lane unless overtaking another vehicle, passing a queue of traffic (or being in a queue of traffic when there is another queue to the left) or moving across in advance of a slip road to afford safer access to vehicles merging from the slip road.

I think the reason terms fast and slow lanes are used is because in reality that's what they usually become. If I am driving on or near to the speed limit then I will usually be going faster than the majority of the other lanes. That is because vehicles that can't travel the limit either physically or legally will be using the inside lanes.

I can't think of many situations on a busy motorway where someone would be using the left lane for a sustained period unless they are turning off or wanting to travel below the speed limit.

[gregarious_introvert]

^ I use the left lane for sustained periods and I'm definitely travelling at the limit. There are very few vehicles limited by law on motorways to 60mph (more are limited on dual carriageways), normally the only time heavier vehicles struggle is on uphill sections.

If you are passing vehicles, then it's fine to use the overraking lanes and nobody expects someone to pull back in, if they are going to have to pull out again shortly afterwards to pass another vehicle - but I've lost count of the number of times I've seen vehicles in the middle or right-hand lanes with nothing to the left of them.

It's only really in this country that people seem to have an issue with keeping to the left (except in places like Albania and Romania, where lane choice seems to be completely random!); in Italy, for instance, not pulling back in (to the right, obviously, as they drive on the other side there) immediately would incur the ire of other drivers, who would let you know about it in no uncertain terms.

Oh and next time I'm flashing you in the fast lane, anxiouslondoner, pull over! Seriously though, when people do that to me, I'll pull over when I'm able, unless they're tailgating me, in which case I slow down and sometimes just touch the brake pedal enough so the lights come on but the brake isn't applied - that usually makes them realise they're too close!



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[Sisyphus]

I think HGV's are usually restricted from using the right hand lane on motorways. A car hogging the middle lane can be troubling for them.

Last weekend I was behind someone on a dual carriage way who was going very slowly and weaving from side to side. No one was brave enough to pass them. I guess they must have been texting.

[AnxiousExtrovert]

Gregarious introvert, on motorways there are loads of hgv and trucks. They usually occupy the left lanes. As someone else has said they are restricted from using the furthest right side lane. So unless you want to be stuck behind a truck or going slowish most people aren't going to want to be in the inside left lane. And unless I'm wrong I believe that traffic statistics would probably show that unless its a very quiet period.

I used to drive about 80 miles each day and going to the inside lanes was usually to pull in because a car was trying to pass that's breaking the limit!
The inside lane was on average much slower than the speed limit.
I'm speaking about busyish times. During quiet periods then I would drive on the inside left

[gregarious_introvert]

^ There is no need to be stuck behind anything; if you're approaching a vehicle which is moving slower than you, simply move out to overtake it. 80 miles per day is roughly 25,000 miles per year so we do the same amount of driving overall (I've just realised that probably means I've done a million miles over 40-odd years!), although mine tends to be longer trips fewer times per week - I used to live in London and had family in the North East, now I live in the Midlands (2 miles from junction 29 of the M1) and drive to London a fair bit, so the M1 has been a significant part of my adult life.

I'm very much aware of how motorways can be at busy times and if the left-hand lane is full of slower-moving traffic, then of course you're likely to be spending more time in the other lanes. I'm sure you do this already, but you should aim to be as far left (apart from the hard shoulder, unless it's a smart motorway and the hard shoulder is open) as possible. Having said that, on the southern half of the M1 (North Circular Road to junction 19, the M6), there is a sliproad every three miles or so, therefore you find that you have to move over to allow traffic to merge.

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