unmotivated and full of apathy

[ExSAguy]

I don't think I am suffering from depression as I don't feel low at all.
But I have no motivation to do...well...anything.

I can do my job with my eyes closed and have no long term goals or the desire to set any.
Even things I used to enjoy I now find a chore.

All I want to do is isolate myself at home and be left alone.

Its very frustrating and its wearing my mood down

[David K]

Sounds like depression to me. It's exactly how I experience it, anyway. I hope you come out of the slump soon.

[Phantomy]

I am there. I think its similar to looking up at Mount Everest from ground level and knowing you must climb to the top but you feel you do not have the energy, ability or willpower to do so.... so you don't bother and get pissed off. Then you turn around, chill out for a while and then go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning there it is again waiting for you to climb up!! NOOOO I can't possibly do that, turn around instead, chill out, maybe I can do it tomorrow... go to bed... wake up...... meh

[ExSAguy]

thanks for the replies people
I have actually solved my problem.
its two-fold.

1. I had a life changing event planned which fell through and since then have had no plans. I need a long term goal to look forward to


2. I need to be needed. I get a kick out of helping people with their problems. Theres been a huge lull of that recently lol

[David K]

Helping people is good, but if you're doing it because you need to be needed, you are setting yourself up to fail. You shouldn't do things to receive gratitude to boost your own self-esteem, because then you're reliant on the other person providing that gratitude. You will be the needy one and needy people don't cope well when their needs aren't met.

Example: Gavin helps Bob do the shopping because Bob broke his hip. Gavin feels good about himself because Bob needs him. Bob's hip gets better and he can do his own shopping. Gavin feels betrayed and abandoned because he's no longer needed.

So the key is to help people when they need it, and not because you need it.

[ExSAguy]

true enough pal and I do help people because they need it, the side of this is that it makes me feel good about myself.

my friend said I am like a mother, if nothing is wrong, then I am a bit lost.

Anyway the slump has mimimised.
three days off after today (badly needed) and payday on Friday.

[Schmosby]

Originally Posted by David K

Example: Gavin helps Bob do the shopping because Bob broke his hip. Gavin feels good about himself because Bob needs him. Bob's hip gets better and he can do his own shopping. Gavin feels betrayed and abandoned because he's no longer needed

What if gavin then pays me to break Bobs legs? Gavin will be happy, as he is needed again, Bob is happy, as he has Gavin helping him and I am happy with my free money as I would have broken Bobs legs anyway (can't stand that guy).

[Schmosby]

Originally Posted by ExSAguy

true enough pal and I do help people because they need it, the side of this is that it makes me feel good about myself.

my friend said I am like a mother, if nothing is wrong, then I am a bit lost.

Anyway the slump has mimimised.
three days off after today (badly needed) and payday on Friday.

You sound a lot like me, I find the most fulfilling relationships are the ones where the other person calls on me for help or advice, emotional support a lot. If they don't need me then what's the point if me.

I felt really lost without a long term goal too, luckily I had the idea of saving to buy a house, then starting a business from home, probably something vegan related and an animal charity or sanctuary. I'm not sure of the details yet, but good to have something to work towards, otherwise I feel like a floater

[David K]

Originally Posted by Schmosby

What if gavin then pays me to break Bobs legs? Gavin will be happy, as he is needed again, Bob is happy, as he has Gavin helping him and I am happy with my free money as I would have broken Bobs legs anyway (can't stand that guy).

I'm not sure Bob would be truly happy with that arrangement, but since he was prepared to exploit Gavin instead of ordering his shopping online, I don't care. I was actually on my way to break his legs myself, so you've all saved me a job.

Originally Posted by Clementine

I'm feeling sad for imaginary Bob, he didn't ask for any of this

I thought he did, but I just checked and you're right. Bob didn't even ask Gavin for help. Gavin took it upon himself to get Bob's shopping even though he doesn't know what Bob likes, and now Bob has a freezer full of burgers (Bob is a vegetarian) and a fridge full of Vanilla Coke (which no one in the world likes).

[ExSAguy]

So Bob Holness had his legs broken by Gavin?
I am so confused, does Bob like cheese?