Feeling people are overhearing

[hollowone]

If you're conversing one-to-one in a public place, like a restaurant or a quiet pub with lots of people around, do you ever find yourself talking under your breath or does your voice ever go quiet when you're conscious that people around you might be hearing what you're saying or the manner that your talking, and that they maybe taking the piss out of you. Do you ever feel uncomfortable having conversations when you know other people are in earshot? Even now, when I'm in that situation, a part of me feels that people are listening and scrutinizing what I'm talking about. Do you ever feel it gets easier to speak up when people start leaving, or when the noise level increases; e.g. the music is turned up or people start speaking louder drowning out the possibility of being overheard?

I'm certain that this doesn't just affect me.

[ExSAguy]

question. in those placea so you listen to other people's conversations?
If yes, how does it change you?

[hollowone]

That's a point, I'm normally not listening to what people around me are talking about or the manner they are talking. Logically I know most people won't be criticizing and scrutinizing the way I'm conversing, but I've had bad experiences in the past. The lower brain still assumes that, it still registers those situations as 'dangerous'.

The only time I have listened to conversations going on around me is if I hear something interesting that I want to throw my two cents in about.

You are quite right in turning this on it's head.

I do find it more comfortable to talk in pubic in louder environments; not so loud that it's difficult to speak and hear, but loud enough that I know people around cannot hear what I'm saying.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I can relate to this a lot. I grew up highly social phobic and highly sensitive to being observed and scrutinised. Of course, this led me to try to fly as far under the radar as possible. I was very uncomfortable in situations, and even more uncomfortable if my attempts at conversing were overheard. Even yet more uncomfortable with the idea that what may be overherad might be picked up on and criticised. I did also have good reason to think that way because, in my environment back then, having an opinion was a dangerous thing.

Fast forward to the present and I've worked through my SA to the point where my anxieties are generally in context with the situations I'm in. In other words, my anxiety is not disordered these days. Yet, I do still talk quiet enough so as not to be overheard. Not because I fear any reaction or anything. It's just the habit I've had. I no longer have the fear, but I do still have the habit of talking softly. I do notice that I speak up a bit more as the crowd thins or the music gets turned up a bit.