Turning 31 in a week and reflecting on my past

[Candyman]

I'm turning 31 in a week. As amazing at it may sound, I've never had a girlfriend. I've only started to really date recently. I just couldn't do it before. The anxiety was too much and my confidence was way too low. However, I've finally turned a corner and have the confidence to approach girls and date.

The good part is that I feel content. I don't feel as if I need a relationship to be happy. If anything, I can see how they can complicate things, but if you find someone you click with then it can be good.

The part that frustrates me with relationships is my lack of experience. I feel intimidated by women who are more experienced than me and most women are more experience than me! Although, I'm at a point where I'm just willing to ignore this and if I make an ass out of myself due to my lack of experience than so be it. Either the girl looks past that and still sees the good guy I am or she doesn't and then it wasn't meant to be and it's her loss.

The one thing I will say is that it's definitely possible to overcome anxiety. If you saw me at my worse and the person I am today we are on polar opposites, but it's a long, slow process and it takes time, patience, effort and commitment...along with the right attitude. Nothing worth getting is easy, but at my current stage in my life I'm probably the most content I've ever been.

[wobblymist]

Well done, Candyman I share much of the same anxieties as you, I hope that by the time I'm 31 (not too far away!) I can be as content as you at the moment.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

Firstly, I'm 36 and never had a girlfriend and I'm impressed, admire your attitude and approach to your situation which I think overtime will help you find what you want. Acceptance and resilience is the key I find to consistency and success when dating, knock backs will inevitably happen so I've learnt myself, I've accepted at times that I will be rejected and have learnt not to take it personally (I had a date last week and we both agreed we were not suited for each other, so be it).

Good luck with your dating ventures.

[Phool]

Aw this is a really nice post. Positive yet realistic. Really good to hear you are more settled.

As per my other thread I go through phases when I am just not interested. But I remember when I turned 36 last year I felt I had been single for too long and started dating again. I just enjoyed that experience of going out for dinner etc with someone other than a friend.

Keep going and keep enjoying the process and the odds are sooner or later you'll find someone you really click with.