do people laugh at you?

[pob]

im not wierd looking, deformed or anything. i can only put it down to the way i behave. i must look really stupid or thick because of my shyness.

this has become my biggest fear in any social situation. it is not something i imagine because i actually see people doing it. i have even stopped seeing my friends because they do it too. i have pretty much become a recluse. it is making me really depressed and i cant see any light at the end of the tunnel. what can i do? this has completely destroyed my life.

say, i start a new job, i will be fine for a couple of weeks, but after people start to get to know me thats when all the sniggering starts. i really dont know what to do.

i have in the past asked friends why they laugh at me, but they have always just denied it or said i must have done something funny. its driving me mad.

i can just about cope with being shy around people, but when they start laughing at me it sends me into really deep depression and i just cant cope.

[Huggy Kitty]

It gets better if you move into more civilised and grown-up environments. That sort of thing doesn't exist so much and I can only assume you work in places where there are alot of lower-class shits.

[Chris26]

Do you know 100% they're sniggering about you tho pob.

I know it sounds daft but a large symptom of sa and generalised anxiety -is it makes u feel the whole word is watching you, judging you.

Because you are feeling shy and 'fragile' you are just waiting for someone to snigger - they could be laughing about anything - but you like so many other people with sa, believe you're the butt of the joke.

When your self esteem is stronger - you'll be able to evaluate wats happening in a more rational light.

If you feel the sniggering is consistent and direct - then confide in someone you trust, and explain how you're feeling.

I do think your just feeling down at the moment - and something that may well be innocent is causing you hurt because you're feeling a bit insecure.(which is no crime)

Try working on building your self confidence - a decent hobbie(martial art) is a good way to go..


Good luck mate.

[TimB72]

There are two levels of humour - simply having a harmless laugh at a situation/person because its eases the tension, and then there's sarcastic/vindictive humour where the intention is to humilate.

The latter is usually used by people with their own problems, where they vent their pain out on other people.

You should not immediately assume people are laughing at you because of the reasons you think about.

If you accidentally knock your coffee over, then we can all have a laugh about that - its just an accident. But if you get laughed at because you can't speak clearly, or don't have anything to say, then thats a different matter.

Regardless of the reasons, you need to stop reacting badly if people laugh at you - as that stops you learning from the situation. You'll never stop people laughing at your failings, if you keep showing you are knocked down by them - that gives them ammunition for next time. If people see you aren't affected, or you give back what you get, then they won't be so quick to humiliate you.

Also, developing yourself so you aren't a target will also help - and help you cope if someone tries.

I am new to the site, thank you all for the warm welcome.

Hello Pob,
I dont get laughed but I went through a phase where people would click there fingers when I walked past or was in the vicinity and I am not talking about one work environment either, it happened at about three different companies. And guess what! I left, and left...and left! Until...

The place I am working in now is ok, I still get terrified if someone tries to make friends with me or invites me out on a social event.

We had a temp in who was there whilst on leave from UNI and he clicked his fingers at me more than once??? Now I thought sod this and complained to the management, I had done nothing to provoke this and I behaved in a professional manner towards this person at all times. I am not mad and other people witnissed this happening, I complained to the management and it stopped.

Then I realised that he was just a sad little cocky scroat, but I keep my distance from this pratt and have had to change my lunch times to especially avoid him!!!

What I am saying is, if they are laughing at you it is an unprofessional way to behave in the workplace and you should speak with a manager who could keep an eye on it and when they see it they can deal with it as that is what they are paid for.

Hope I dont sound pompous :embarass: , it just makes me angry when people are made to feel uncomfortable .

[Chris26]

Hi jo..

What do u mean by clicking their fingers at you...? ...u say ppl used to walk past u and click their fingers - just trying to understand.

Originally Posted by Chris26

Hi jo..

What do u mean by clicking their fingers at you...? ...u say ppl used to walk past u and click their fingers - just trying to understand.

Trying to get attention in an impolite way? That's how I read it.

Yes in the past people have laughed at me(friends) because when I get anxious I act in an awkward way, and in the past I have said stupid things- its like I get so paranoid that Im going to make an idiot of myself that I do.
In a lot of social situations I just keep quiet becuase I don't want to draw attention to myself, and i worry that im going to say something stupid and get laughed at- and most of the time im too anxious to talk. But instead, being silent when everyone else is chatting away gets you noticed, then I get the comments frm people 'why don't you talk.' And even from friends- 'why don't you just talk.'- they have no idea!

Just click their fingers when I walk past or they walk past me at my desk or in the corridoor when no one else is there so they cant be clicking there fingers at anyone else. Click = clique, dosent it???Its a play on your nerves game.

[Chris26]

Jo, sometimes people click their fingers for the sake of it...

If some small minded pratt gets joy from 'trying' to agitate you then that is their problem...

I just cant help thinking it may just be your SA making you feel they are doing it do get at you...

Rationally thinking - why would anyone consider clicking their fingers would be a way of annoying you or being vindictive.

Unless it occurred and they could clearly see you were aggitated - in which case you did the right thing to stop them being so petty.

There are people at work who walk past clicking their fingers, singing lame ass tunes, belching, farting, swearing - i just put it down to that person and how they evidentally try and get through their day.

Anyway good luck to u anyway m8.

Well Chris thanks for trying to put things into perspective and yes maybe your right it could be my SA making me think people are clicking there fingers at me.


And good luck 2 u m8