Introversion

[Aelwyn]

A short BBC video about this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/t...verts/p080fdnp

[anewyear]

Yeah I saw that. It rang very true for me. Actually I'm a bit feisty about this as a topic these days ie: I very much subscribe now to the thought that being introverted isn't wrong or a weakness, it's simply a difference in the same way you might have dark or light hair. Good to see someone basically articulating the same thing.

[Seagull]

In related news, utter CJTC James Corden has no clue how to interview the awkward, introverted god-like genius of Julian Casablancas, underlining how difficult it can be for those of us who encounter Corden-esque types in our lives. Also some interesting comments underneath, people sympathetic to Julian’s cause.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pUmuytn_Wao

[Seagull]

^^ spot on dissection of Corden, HH!

[Indigo_]

However, introversion worthy of talking about, as it manifests itself in a life trying to be lived, can seriously limit the richness and value of life for many. There is little that is positive about it - My life would be infinitely better if I were an extrovert rather than profoundly introverted/insular person. No, it's not just a difference in hair style, none of which would lead to almost total social isolation, etc.

I don't wholly agree with this. If you are an introvert, and you are happy with being introverted then why does it have to limit the richness and value of life? Being an introvert does not have to lead to total social isolation. I'm sure there are plenty of introverts who have friends, who maybe they socialise with infrequently and for short periods of time and get their alone time too.

It is more problematic if you are introverted but wish you were extroverted in my opinion.

[Dougella]

^ Yes I think that introversion isn't something that limits people's lives, because on the whole they don't want to be socialising as much as an extrovert might but that doesn't mean that introverts don't socialise at all, or have relationships or friendships or otherwise full lives!
It's SA that actually inhibits people and limits what they're able to experience and do.

[gregarious_introvert]

^ & ^^ I agree. The clue is in my username! I'm also coming round to the idea that introversion/extroversion is a spectrum and that most of us are a mixture of both - I know that I've had more extrovert moments in recent times (although a sample of one is hardly a scientific study)!

Many introverts live life on their own terms, dipping in and out of the social arena as suits them; of course there are also those who don't find such opportunities and don't socialise as much as they would like (or perhaps at all), despite needing less social contact than others. I think it is crueller, however, for a potential extrovert to be forced, because of anxiety, rejection or some other reason, to lead an introverted lifestyle which cannot fulfil them.

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[AnxiousExtrovert]

I definitely fit introvert from that videos examples.

I found the part interesting about the chemical regarding creativity and learning gives huge benefits to the introvert, but barely registers to the extrovert.
This would explain why intelligent or nerdy people have a stereotype of being on the introvert scale, and some stereotypical loud mouths often have an image of being very simplistic and not so smart.

I do think however that a lot of people use the definition of introvert to define themselves more than it is, and is helpful.
I think the behaviour and differences between someone being overbearing and loud, and someone being more reserved and polite has a lot more to do with personality disorders, upbringing and manners.
I think within reason that the environment in childhood and role models etc etc, have far more bearing on how people interact with others, than having stronger or weaker markers on the introvert or extrovert scale.
I was recently reading about a personality disorder called borderline personality disorder because someone I know suspected they may have it. It was saying that the disorder often runs in families but life events and and parenting seem to be big factors in whether it develops. This seems to suggest like most things that when we are born we can have some leanings to "developing" certain behaviour or characteristics but the nurture part really defines it. I put developing in quotes because I think it is just that. It isn't set in stone in our genetics but has a potential to go more one way than another under certain circumstances.

I have been aware all my life that some people seem to have this entitlement or "assertiveness" about them and that felt either misplaced or uncomfortable to me. But on many occasions I have been around those people enough and it comes out that the person actually is fairly self absorbed and narcissistic. My point being that those personality traits seem to be defining their extroversion in the situation more than a gene or any introversion or extroversion?
Also you are certainly likely to be behaving in a more introverted way if you are around dominating or threatening behaviour that isnt a norm for you. For example if you are raised with good manners but the norm of the situation you are in is to be rude and walk over people then unless you change then it is likely you will be behaving in a more introverted way in that situation. Does that mean you are naturally more introverted or the other people are rude and bullyish?

Regarding my name. I had to think of something quickly as a username when joining. I am certainly for the majority of the time not extrovert in a grandiose way. But I do get a lot of energy and enjoyment chatting away and socializing with people I don't feel threatened or drained by. I do however find those situations not as common as I would like and there are many people around who in my opinion lack empathy, common decency and are in general pretty fake. I often feel uncomfortable, anxious and on guard around those people.

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert

^ & ^^ I agree. The clue is in my username! I'm also coming round to the idea that introversion/extroversion is a spectrum and that most of us are a mixture of both - I know that I've had more extrovert moments in recent times (although a sample of one is hardly a scientific study)!

Many introverts live life on their own terms, dipping in and out of the social arena as suits them; of course there are also those who don't find such opportunities and don't socialise as much as they would like (or perhaps at all), despite needing less social contact than others. I think it is crueller, however, for a potential extrovert to be forced, because of anxiety, rejection or some other reason, to lead an introverted lifestyle which cannot fulfil them.

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I agree.

[Bluebear]

Huh idk .. I would prefer to be more extroverted.

[AnxiousExtrovert]

Originally Posted by ᚦaul

a lot of people can pull off being an introvert, like it's seen as being this cute quirky thing, I can't. it's more like, is that guy an ex con? is he an incel terrorist!?
I am happy with being an introvert, I would like to live a peaceful life with minimal interactions with other significant people. other people and society on the whole isn't ok with allowing me to exist this way.

I obviously don't know how you feel as I am not you. But I have to say this is a perfect example of why I think people who define themselves as an introvert are wrong.
I don't think humans are introverted in the way you are describing as a natural default. I think every human enjoys social interaction and companionship but it's the criteria and circumstances that differ. Some people may have an illness or reason why they are finding the majority of people more frustrating or trouble than it's worth. So isolation from that is peaceful in comparison. But under ideal circumstances for the individual, I find it hard to believe that any human would function and get more pleasure in isolation under perfect circumstances.
Posting on this website would also suggest that people want some interaction and understanding which counters introversion in the isolation sense.
Following the logic above is why I think that most cases of self diagnosed introversion is more often a case of psychologically retreating from annoying, uncaring or different people from ourself. I definitely fit that description but I can be far more extroverted when I am in my comfort zone and happier.