Constantly scared of the future

[sillypenguin]

Does anyone else just get terrified at the thought of their future? I seem to be constantly afraid of things that have never happened or may not ever happen. Like right now l, I'm unemployed and I'm constantly worried I'm never ever gonna find a job I will be able to stay in long term without anxiety, depression and/or lack of confidence mucking it up. I'm also afraid of getting old, that includes looking old, getting age related medical conditions. especially anything to do with dementia or something that will affect my mobility, I exercise quite a lot because I don't want to get old, fat and lose who I am.

I'm also afraid of never having financial security, never owning my own home or ever having pets (I don't care about having children). Or losing all my friends and not being able the make new friends. Or my partner deciding their fed up with me. Basically I'm afraid I'm gonna keep on living my adult life a failure. I understand I've made some achievements in my life, but all I do is look into the things I haven't done or haven't achieved, whether I'm in the process of working towards them or not.

To summarise, I hate overthinking about a future that's not happened and being an adult sucks

[humphrey]

^I could have wrote most of that about me. All except the partner bit as I have given up hope of ever having the courage to find a partner. (I'm 50). But I do over think things to absolutely ridiculous levels. I'm not as bad as I was about 15 years ago when I had a breakdown, that was about work and life and the future. In the end I even managed to get a new job a grade higher than I was on with the same company, 3/4 years later, even though I was on the sick for 4 months.

Looking back, I don't know why I got so stressed, things worked themselves out without me worrying about them. My higher paid job was deleted in the cuts but I was offered a job at the previous grade I was on, without interview etc, it was just a matter of finish old job on Friday, start new one on Monday. I was a bit less money again, but I didn't have the stress of applying.

I am still stress about little things to a stupid level, it's mainly as I hate change, new things, I'm all right once I get my head around things and get used to it. I always dream about going for better paid jobs, but it scares me to move to something new. I have been with this company 34 years and counting.

[gregarious_introvert]

It's a little late for me to worry about getting old or looking old (there is an old man who lives in mirrors and follows me around, he is never there when I'm not near a mirror!), but yes, I did worry a lot about the future - even though, for most of my life, I thought I wouldn't have one (I am surprised that I have survived as long as I have - and that I intend to survive a lot longer). I've been very lucky in that I don't have any age-related medical conditions (I have a hernia, but don't consider that age-related and I've got so used to it that I forget it's there), although I am carrying a couple of stones too much weight.

I don't have a partner (she did get fed up with me!) or any friends, so I don't have any concerns in that respect; I used to worry about losing jobs (which I managed to do all too frequently) but now am reconciled to not working and finding other ways to use my time productively. In terms of financial security, I am happy to have more money coming in than going out (although I do worry slightly that about the next reassessment of my benefits, but as that is two-and-a-half years away, I'll worry about that closer to the time) and having "owned" my own home in the past, I find renting far less stressful (although it helps that I am in social housing, so far more secure than someone renting privately). I don't have pets as I live alone and have nobody to take care of them when I'm not at home and it's too late now for me to contemplate having children.

My main worry is that I will die in my bungalow and nobody will discover the body until flies swarm at the window; I think life events have removed every other worry I could possibly have, but mindfulness (even though I don't practice it as fully as I should) has helped immensely, helping me to live in the moment, rather than the past or the future (of course, I have less future than most people on this forum - but more past!).

I think it's sensible to safeguard against future health problems by exercising body and mind, but beyond that, I think worrying is more likely to make things happen than not, so try to enjoy the life you have and work towards the things you want. You're not much more than half my age, sillypenguin, so it's only natural that you would have more concerns about your future career and financial security, but changes just take us down different paths which may not be any better or worse than the one we were on. I've made so many mistakes over the years, my life has been nothing like I envisaged when I left university clutching a piece of paper which I hoped would safeguard my future (it didn't!) but despite all the false starts, heartaches, despair and everything else which seemed disastrous at the time, I've found a place in life where I'm happy - and that's in no small part because I learned to stop worrying.

[Mr. Nobody]

yeah, I've always been a worrier, it's just become my normal state now,

I think pretty much every worry or fear is basically that of death, hiding behind it.

I understand only on an intellectual level that worrying about stuff doesn't change that 'stuff' or make anything better,

all the things I've spent my life worrying about have passed, and I guess it would seem pointless now, to have worried about them,
but I think with me, it's just what I am now, I'm just a habitual worrier.

it seems that my basic fear and worry is over the ending of this life,. my death.
if I can get my head around that and work out how to accept and live with the fact of death then I can possibly move on and start living?

[cyane1982]

I worry about so many things in the future. I always worry about family dying and how I'd cope, I wish I could stop it but it's something I've always done.