What age were you when you got your first girlfriend/boyfriend?

here4help · #1 14th December 2012, 22:04

I'm 23 and haven't had a girlfriend before. I am socially awkward around girls I like and if a girl actually does like me I always mess it up and it's too late, she's went off me. I think I'm quite good looking. I have often been considered a selfish person by girls, only caring about myself. I don't think that's true. It's the perception they get. I don't think I ever will have a relationship. Never have, never will. I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?

Flowerbomb · #2 14th December 2012, 22:05

15

Flowerbomb · #3 14th December 2012, 22:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by here4help

I'm 23 and haven't had a girlfriend before. I am socially awkward around girls I like and if a girl actually does like me I always mess it up and it's too late, she's went off me. I think I'm quite good looking. I have often been considered a selfish person by girls, only caring about myself. I don't think that's true. It's the perception they get. I don't think I ever will have a relationship. Never have, never will. I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?

No I definately have more confidence now then when I was 23 so there is hope for you too

agree with Ryan to change you have to fight it to succeed. Age plays a big part as im a believer in the older you get you are more wise towards everything & should know how to deal with things in a better or different way than you once did, 23 is still really young.

Also these girls who mean jacks**t to you are very judgemental if you think what they are saying is not true, sounds like they know jacks*** to say it as well.

Pandapop · #4 14th December 2012, 22:09

I don't think thats right, people go through situations in life which change them whether it be to make them stronger, or change the way they think with certain things etc.

I'd say my first proper relationship was when I was 14/15.

ryanharris · #5 14th December 2012, 22:11

Same as you here4help. 22, have never had a girlfriend and as far as i'm aware no girls ever liked me that way. It used to bother me, but i'm perfectly happy being single tbh

I dont think its true that once you hit a certain age you cant change, i've changed loads in the past year and i dont see that rate of change slowing down. The key is exposure to things that you find difficult.

GhostOnMagneticTape · #6 14th December 2012, 22:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by here4help

I'm 23 and haven't had a girlfriend before. I am socially awkward around girls I like and if a girl actually does like me I always mess it up and it's too late, she's went off me. I think I'm quite good looking. I have often been considered a selfish person by girls, only caring about myself. I don't think that's true. It's the perception they get. I don't think I ever will have a relationship. Never have, never will. I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?

I'm 38 soon and never had a relationship, it used to bother me a lot in my 20s but now I just simply shrug my shoulders and say "so be it". Society I feel applies a lot of pressures on people to have relationships far too young and when they are not ready.

Sometimes I feel being single and free is the way to go for some people, along with loosing and ignoring the stigmatization...

girlinterrupted · #7 14th December 2012, 22:14

I don`t think age means much,more what someone has experienced and been through. I think everyone changes as they go through life,whether that be for better or worse.

here4help · #8 14th December 2012, 22:14

15 seems pretty young for somebody with social anxiety. I went to an all boys secondary school so that probably effected me. I wasn't able to meet girls at an early age, therefore I had little experience.

Azi · #9 14th December 2012, 22:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by here4help

I'm 23 and haven't had a girlfriend before. I am socially awkward around girls I like and if a girl actually does like me I always mess it up and it's too late, she's went off me. I think I'm quite good looking. I have often been considered a selfish person by girls, only caring about myself. I don't think that's true. It's the perception they get. I don't think I ever will have a relationship. Never have, never will. I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?

Absolutely not! I'm not the person I was at 23, not by a long shot. Things can improve.

Flowerbomb · #10 14th December 2012, 22:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by here4help

15 seems pretty young for somebody with social anxiety. I went to an all boys secondary school so that probably effected me. I wasn't able to meet girls at an early age, therefore I had little experience.

Not really it was at school, it lasted 2 years, I wasn't socially anxious at school. It was once I started work things became crap.

girlinterrupted · #11 14th December 2012, 22:26

Really whatever age anyone else was when they had a relationship has no bearing on anyone elses experience,comparing ourselves to others is a typical SA trait I think,but usually quite unhelpful if we get bogged down by it. Whatever age we are,we can always work on ourselves and seek to improve,be that in relation to SA or just as a person generally.

Progress · #12 14th December 2012, 22:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Becca-boo

Love and relationships can happen at any time in life, 23 is still very young!

Yes. You can change in life.

I was 33. I heard about someone the other day (can't remember who) who got married and had children at 51.

Vanessa · #13 14th December 2012, 22:30

I was 24 before anyone was even interested.

Quote:

I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?

With all due respect I would wholeheartedly disagree with that

23 is way too young for things to be set in stone, there's still loads of time to have life experiences that affect you. I am 25 now and definitely different from how i was at 23.

here4help · #14 14th December 2012, 22:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Progress

Yes. You can change in life.

I was 33. I heard about someone the other day (can't remember who) who got married and had children at 51.

Hope for me yet then!

Although I would rather it came sooner than later.

GhostOnMagneticTape · #15 14th December 2012, 22:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Progress

Yes. You can change in life.

I was 33. I heard about someone the other day (can't remember who) who got married and had children at 51.

Indeed, a lot people seemingly are in a rush to have a relationship, marriage and kids way too early. We all need to slow down and think what we want, not what society wants.

The Lone Stranger · #16 14th December 2012, 22:43

I never will now , I`m 43.

here4help · #17 14th December 2012, 22:45

Maybe I just haven't been in many situations I could meet girls. Perhaps speed dating might be worth a try.

anxiouslondoner · #18 14th December 2012, 23:11

I'm 36 and still waiting. Frankly there's negligible chance of anything happening from now on, really.

Joony-k · #19 14th December 2012, 23:32

"I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?"

I hope not lol. I'm 23 and I still hope to be a lot more confident in a lot of areas later on. I was 16. That lasted for a few weeks. Then still 16 and that lasted 2 years. Although my SA almost messed that up for me before it started lol. You're still young and it will happen eventually. I wouldn't worry too much.

icky · #20 15th December 2012, 00:50

i had a few girlfriends when in secondary school and then at 15 social phobia took over my life. i didnt have another girl friend for 18 years and then i met a girl, were not together now but i guess im proof that things can change.

MLP James · #21 15th December 2012, 09:40

I've never had one, but I guess I'm in no hurry since purely sexual relationships don't interest me. It's not like women even look at me anyway, but I still wait for someone who actually matters.

jimrob · #22 15th December 2012, 12:30

I had a 'girlfriend' when I was 13 but I'm not sure that really counts

I then had a few dates and a couple of girlfriends when I was 18/19 but they were only short-lived and then nothing since. I'm now 26. I've had a few close girl mates but nothing more than that. I sometimes wonder if they were waiting for me to make it more than friends, but I am too scared to find out.

Clockface · #23 15th December 2012, 16:12

I'm 30 and I've never had a girlfriend. I frequently tell myself that I'll never get into a relationship and that nobody could ever possibly want to share their life with me, but my friends always question why I'm not yet in a relationship which makes me think that maybe I am actually worthy of getting a girlfriend.

I'm the kind of guy who takes things slower which might be part of the reason, but also my low self esteem and SA have been the main things that have stopped me. I must radiate this in my body language and it might be off putting for women, so I think I need to get my confidence up so I can feel better about myself and lessen my SA.

You are certainly not the person you are now for the rest of your life. I've changed so much in the last 7 years I hardly recognise myself, which is a success story, so you can also become more confident. Don't get downhearted, it is more than possible to grow as a person :-)

Clockface · #24 15th December 2012, 16:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by here4help

I'm 23 and haven't had a girlfriend before. I am socially awkward around girls I like and if a girl actually does like me I always mess it up and it's too late, she's went off me. I think I'm quite good looking. I have often been considered a selfish person by girls, only caring about myself. I don't think that's true. It's the perception they get. I don't think I ever will have a relationship. Never have, never will. I think the person you are at 23 is the person you will be the rest of your life. Am I right?

Sorry Here4Help, I meant to quote your original message in my reply above.

lemongirl · #25 15th December 2012, 16:40

Hmm strange some people wiv severe social anxiety had a proper relationship wen 14 or 15! I cant work that out. People av told me im very pretty but didnt have my first proper relationship if u can call it that until i was 30! Anyway cos of the way i was and circumstances i didnt feel comfortable talkin to men until i was 27 and i did go to an all girls secondary school too!

J-D · #26 15th December 2012, 17:02

i am 30.

i've NEVER had a girlfriend.

fallen in the friendzone more times than i can count.

even sex in my reality is a myth, its not real.

i just dont know how to get a girlfriend. theres a girl i have a big crush on but dont know how to develop it. shes in another country and hasnt replied to my fb message in two weeks upon replying to hers

STRING3R · #27 15th December 2012, 18:17

Never.

I think the desire to even get a girlfriend has long since past. Still I'm a kissless virgin so it wouldn't hurt to have someone with me.

DarenA37 · #28 15th December 2012, 19:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

I'm 38 soon and never had a relationship, it used to bother me a lot in my 20s but now I just simply shrug my shoulders and say "so be it". Society I feel applies a lot of pressures on people to have relationships far too young and when they are not ready.

Sometimes I feel being single and free is the way to go for some people, along with loosing and ignoring the stigmatization...

Had my first relationship when I was 36 yo and it lasted a year due to moving in to fast, but that's life

Alex_James · #29 15th December 2012, 19:12

I had my one and only short term relationship a few weeks before my 20th birthday, just over three years ago. We were both completely different to each other and it ended up being a bit of a disaster in all honesty. I'm agonizingly lonely but that bad experience has taught me not to just jump into any random relationship for the sake of it.

Defiance · #30 15th December 2012, 19:18

i think i was like 7 or something, or is that too young to count. some girl in my class that i didn't really talk to much came upto me and just sorta said "right you're being my boyfriend" and kissed me on the cheek ...and that was that.

a week later she dumped me for some kid called david.

dude was such a chick magnet.