Physicality and SA

[anewyear]

I had an interesting experience at work yesterday. I have a new role (same company) with a different manager post a re-org. Really not looking forward to it as there is a lot of presentation work and networking involved. Eurgghh Can't think of much worse.

Anyway...

My new boss is about 6'4'' (literally) and confident, e.g. there was a company session with 80 people in the room and he was coordinating one of those panel discussion on stage things.

I was talking to him afterwards. Now I'd generally find that anxiety inducing anyway (new person, I'm sure you understand ) but him being physically a lot bigger makes it worse. I'm a 5'9'' 11 stone fella so smallish average.

But here's the thing.

On the first day I was standing when I was talking to him and the height difference seemed huge and affected me negatively.

On the second day, I happened to be sitting and he was standing. Now obviously the gap is more significant, but I felt less negatively affected which surprised me.

Maybe that's because in that scenario I look more "normal" and he looks more unnatural, not sure..

There is definitely something primeval though about confidence and physicality, like we're about to break with modern taboos and start whacking each other with wooly mammoth bones.

[Marco]

I have a recurring dream about being surrounded by very tall people...

[clyde33]

At 5' 9" you're not small. I certainly don't think so as my husband is that height and I've never thought of him as small even though I'm just an inch shorter.

Your boss is just a giraffe.

[gregarious_introvert]

I'm also 5'9" but I've never felt that my physicality contributed to my anxiety (of course, I have been alive long enough that I wasn't below average height for a male when I became an adult, although I am now!); strangely enough, the closest person I have to a friend at present (I do feel there is a real friendship blossoming) is 6'8" and his height gives him more insecurities than mine gives me (he is sick of hearing jokes about "the weather up there", for instance), although he manages to overcome these, for the most part.

I'm with jinny on this issue, I do feel that it's a confidence issue rather than one of physicality. When we have low confidence, we look for reasons to justify that lack of confidence and if we feel that we are too short, too tall, too fat, too thin, strange-looking or whatever, that will feed into the vicious cycle in which our lack of confidence highlights our appearance and our appearance reinforces our lack of confidence.