Are you a perfectionist?

Wol · #1 21st June 2008, 01:36

I recently realised that I am a perfectionist, and I now understand better why I struggle with the things I do.
Does anyone else identify with this?
There is a good description here: http://www.dundee.ac.uk/counselling/...ts/perfect.htm

Porphyrian · #2 21st June 2008, 01:50

Absolutely, although I do go far easier on myself now than I used to.

For me it came from never feeling that I measured up to the expectations of others. I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a disappointment when I was younger, so I ended up becoming perfectionist because the only way I felt I'd be accepted was if I was perfect and did everything 100% correctly.

I now realise that perfection does not exist, so chasing it is a soul-destroying task, but chase it I did for much of my life.

The problem with perfectionism is that it sets standards that are impossible to reach and maintain. This means we always actually end up feeling a failure instead. At this stage in my life my aim is simply to be good enough, rather than perfect. And I get to decide what is good enough. I don't leave that up to others to tell me.

#3 21st June 2008, 02:05

Yes, I'm very much a perfectionist. It can be extremely wearing and frustrating at times because I drive myself so hard to try and get things absolutely perfect. I have OCD tendencies, which I think is the main reason for the perfectionism.

morningstar · #4 21st June 2008, 02:15

I'm that negative kind of perfectionist

i_like_mittens · #5 21st June 2008, 02:40

Oh, I'm a complete perfectionist.. I think it's the case with most people who have SA. After all, having SA is being obssessed with a fear of failure and thinking if we don't act/look/do everything perfect in front of others, people will judge us etc. It's a form of perfectionism in itself. We don't allow ourselves to make mistakes and will even go as far as avoiding doing certain things cause we'd rather not try than end up doing something wrong.

I think perfectionism can be good if you manage to control it. like it makes you want to do things well and can give you ambitions and a motivation to achieve your goals that maybe the average person wouldn't have which is good, but at the same time it's important to learn to set yourself limits/deadlines and learn to see the grey bit between black and white. like learn to accept compliments and that something can be good even if it doesn't match what you imagined ideally. And also learn to accept that what you think is ideal or necessary is not what others find ideal and therefore won't judge you for not being what you deem "perfect". and also that even if people DID jugde us, it's not like it should define who we are. So yeah, it can be good, but has the potential to destroy you if you let it do so I guess.

ExSAguy · #6 21st June 2008, 03:13

Nope i'm just perfect lol ok crap joke

Miss M · #7 21st June 2008, 08:43

Yes, definately. But I never expect perfection from others (in a nice way). I am much harder on myself than the rest of the world.

Biggie14 · #8 21st June 2008, 15:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by abc

Yes, and it affects me a lot. No matter what I do I always feel that I could/should have done better, i'm never truely satisfied with anything.

I think what I need to realise is that just because something isn't perfect, it doesn't mean that it's a failure, and that perfection doesn't exist.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss M

Yes, definately. But I never expect perfection from others (in a nice way). I am much harder on myself than the rest of the world.

These two posts describe me perfectly. I do not believe that I need to elaborate.

Mark_One · #9 21st June 2008, 21:05

Hi. Not posted on this board for a few months now.
Yes, I admit to being a perfectionist but maybe it is obsessive compulsive disorder.

MelG · #10 21st June 2008, 22:59

Yeh im a perfectionist also.Like with anything that i do it has to be perfect if its not then i've gotta continue at it to get it perfect and to get it to my standard

Im also never satisfied with wot i got, i always want better

CliveL · #11 21st June 2008, 23:17

I am a useless perfectionist so I tend to give up before I have started

maro111 · #12 21st June 2008, 23:36

yeh im a bit of a perfectionist as well with all stuff really. I think alot of people with SA think they have to look their best whenever they go out as people will be judging them. Also if anybody ever comments on you, say 'you look nice' then it adds pressure that you must look nice everytime you see that person again.

seasprite · #13 22nd June 2008, 00:20

Very much so. In practical matters i can spend days, weeks or months getting things as perfect as i can only to look again a few months later and know i can do an even better job. Perfectionism is the main reason i have for losing interest in projects if they arn't going as well as i expect.

#14 22nd June 2008, 09:32

I am seriously a perfectionist and im a very tidy person. Though I do look at this as a good thing because it reflects on my personal higiene and self presentation, which cant be bad... right?

...Also at work I have been told everything I produce is perfect and tidy. It may be considered obsessive, but I dont mind.

Maybe we act this way because we dont want to be critisized.