Dealing with unwanted attention

[Memory]

I deal with the general public in my job. I have a couple of regular customers that basically hit on me all the time. They are at least double my age and they still try and talk to me all the time and it's gone on for a while now. I don't understand how they think it's okay - it's creepy! One of them is very obvious about it, compliments how I look, asked me out a few times and asked if I had a boyfriend, he said I reminded him of the sun the other day... The other one just talks to me a lot and compliments what I'm wearing all the time (he even complimented me when I was wearing a hoody. I mean, come on!).

I've just sort of been accepting that that's what these customers are like and try and avoid them when I can and don't act as friendly to them as I normally would to customers. I keep thinking to myself that I should be brave and just say 'I'd rather you didn't say things like that' or something but I can never spit it out. I just blush (as I always do when the attention is on me), and try and ignore inappropriate things they say or reply to them reluctantly.

It's not bad enough or a big enough deal that I'd tell my colleagues or manager or anything. I just wonder if you had any advice. Should I just accept these two customers are like this and continue just dealing with it like I have been. Or should I tell them directly that I'm not comfortable with what they're saying? If so, any advice on actually telling them that?

[flumpsy]

Not a problem I have had but perhaps pretending you have a boyfriend is the easiest?

It is a clear message if they compliment something and you say thanks, my boyfriend got it for me.

[db838]

Good idea Trumpsy, just a subtle hint might work. I'm a supermarket baker and there's this woman who always chats me up, luckily I have the opportunity to sneak off and hide whenever I see her coming in the distance. It must be a lot harder if you're job is solely to serve customers at a desk or on checkouts. Some of the girls I work with get creepy blokes chatting to them but they generally just smile and put up with it, there's not a lot else they can do.

[Memory]

Thanks for the replies.

I've tried the boyfriend thing and it doesn't work. I'm not always at a desk but there's usually only one other colleague around to help with customers so I'm often not able to avoid them. And sometimes when I do try and hide from them, they'll come over and find me anyway... Sigh.

[db838]

Originally Posted by Memory

Thanks for the replies.

I've tried the boyfriend thing and it doesn't work. I'm not always at a desk but there's usually only one other colleague around to help with customers so I'm often not able to avoid them. And sometimes when I do try and hide from them, they'll come over and find me anyway... Sigh.

In which case I recommend telling your manager. If he or she can observe their behaviour then they could step in if the customers are taking it too far.

[Dougella]

I don't think you should feel that you have to be friendly to them at all, especially if you've already made it clear that you're not interested in them.

I was would say avoid them if you can, and if not don't feel that you have to say anything other than the basic things you would say to any customer you're serving.
If they keep on bothering you, you might have to speak to your manager and ask them to have a word with these guys about not making staff uncomfortable.

[diplodocus]

I find it really easy, I just act very cold, arrogant and nonchalant but then I'm a guy so it's pretty easy to deter women as most give up easily at a moderate sign of disinterest or the faintest chance of rejection. If they are more persistant I just act like a thuggish dickhead, which come pretty easily to me, that puts them off. I've never had to resort to actually being rude to them.

[tryinghard]

Difficult with it being a work situation. Sometimes you have to keep beating the same drum. Mention your boyfriend everytime they talk to you. Don't be friendly. Try to cut all conversations short. You don't owe them anything, but I guess if you're customer facing it's pretty hard to actually be rude.

I haven't had this in a work situation but with men in my personal life - friends who fancy me etc - I just be nice to them without ever actually initiating conversation or encouraging them, and always turn down invites that are just to hang out with them alone. It takes a little while but they give up eventually and get over it. It's not the same in a work situation, though.

[flumpsy]

It is possible there is a policy for it although I guess to get it you would have to tell somebody. I know some call centres tend to have policies on how to deal with dirt callers.

[Aelwyn]

[QUOTE=Memory;1999321I've tried the boyfriend thing and it doesn't work.[/QUOTE] Time to say you have three small children?

[David K]

I don't think mentioning boyfriends or children is going to work with people like that. They're not really looking for someone to have a relationship with, they're just being arseholes because they enjoy it and can get away with it. The first bloke especially sounds like trouble.

[Coffee]

I realise you fear confrontation with management and the customers themselves, but if you keep avoiding it you will be avoiding guys like this your whole life.

Confront them, but professionally. And tell management what is going on immediately, no delays. They can't help you if you don't tell them what is happening, and if one of the customers gets worse, you will have established a context.

[Ramona Flowers]

I worked in supermarkets for 10 years and I hated it. You are under no obligation to flirt with these creeps and make them feel validated. I think some of the ones I experienced could see that the made me feel uncomfortable and really enjoyed it.

You could always try something very petty to make you feel better. One of the ones I worked for went through a very short-lived phase of trying to make us say "See you next time!" to every single customer - needless to say some employees were only too happy to comply with this (I refused as I objected to the idea of a standardised sign-off line. I would say have a nice day but only when I actually meant it, and customers even complained at that)

[silent_inspiration]

the first guy you mentioned is very blatantly harassing you. i think you should tell your manager about him first. if u tell ur mananger that u try to be polite to all customers and so with this bloke u were not too sure how to approach the situation. that should make him aware of the general context of ur problem. and then u could perhaps bring up the other incidences where others have done the same. explain to him that it makes u feel incredibly uncomfortable. hopefully they will have some sort of policy to help staff.
perhaps u could just totally avoid eye contact with these guys or try not to answer their questions which don't relate to the service u are supposed to provide.
i say all this but totally understand how difficult this is to do with SA. its such a pain to deal with but hope u can find an answer to this.

take care,
hope these guys just bugger off

[Memory]

Thanks everyone for your comments. Much appreciated.

I don't consider it bad enough to tell management about it really and I'm awful at asking for help/admitting there's a problem anyway so it's unlikely I'd ever be able to. I'm going to try and tell the customers next time they say something creepy to me that it's not appropriate. Although I keep telling myself that and it never actually happens... Sigh, I will try harder next time!

[newbs16]

Maybe you could tell the customers in a jokey way but being serious so they might take the hint