How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Broken Heart?

Leif Erikson · #1 1st May 2012, 16:05

Really deep question but someone at work asked me this today. I would like to say six months to a year (if it was serious) but it depends on the person.

What do you think?

Detox · #2 1st May 2012, 16:14

I used to think it would be a long time. But now it would probably be a few days maybe, no girl is worth feeling like that. Don't get too close and you can't get hurt, simples. My personal view anyway.

Alex_James · #3 1st May 2012, 16:26

It took me about 6 months to fully get over the only girlfriend i've ever had. For many reasons I won't be going into a relationship of my own accord again.

Vastaux · #4 1st May 2012, 16:36

I'm 10 months out of a 4 year RS, i still get twinges in the heart every now and then, with any luck by a year i wont care... i agree with detox though, in the future i dont think itll take this long as she was my first i am not accustomed to it and went through the whole "i wont find anyone else sage"(which atm is proving true though lol) but in the future ill know what to expect.

Kitri · #5 1st May 2012, 16:45

As a rule of thumb it seems to take me three times as long as the time I had feelings for the other person. I was dating my first boyfriend for 1.5 years and it took me about 5 years to get over him. Someone else I was seeing for 6 months took me 1.5 years. Had a crush on someone for 3 months, took me 9. Needless to say I've become more and more terrified of developping feelings for someone now. Really should've learned my lesson but didn't and now I'm probably done for.

girlinterrupted · #6 1st May 2012, 16:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detox

I used to think it would be a long time. But now it would probably be a few days maybe, no girl is worth feeling like that. Don't get too close and you can't get hurt, simples. My personal view anyway.

But if you never got close that would mean your heart wasn`t "broken" when it ended,so the timescale that followed wouldn`t really pertain to the question.

As for the OP,goodness knows. It`d be like someone asking "how long is a piece of string?".

Toxic · #7 1st May 2012, 16:49

was with my ex for about 6 years

took nearly a year i guess to not really give a toss about her

i develop feelings way too easy! but ive started to change and try not to let it bother me so much..if anyones daft enough to get with me again anyway im sure i wont be as bothered..but she was my first "serious" one i guess

Named User · #8 1st May 2012, 16:49

A little over 3 minutes?

Vastaux · #9 1st May 2012, 16:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitri

As a rule of thumb it seems to take me three times as long as the time I had feelings for the other person. I was dating my first boyfriend for 1.5 years and it took me about 5 years to get over him. Someone else I was seeing for 6 months took me 1.5 years. Had a crush on someone for 3 months, took me 9. Needless to say I've become more and more terrified of developping feelings for someone now. Really should've learned my lesson but didn't and now I'm probably done for.

I hope to hell i havent got 12 years of this **** lol... i'm getting bored of these feelings after 10 months!

Azi · #10 1st May 2012, 16:59

For me, it's approximately 3-6 months for every year of the relationship. But the heartbreak process often begins aaages before the relationship has actually ended, so knock a bit off for that. Also, it depends how in love you were, and how well you bounce back from adversity generally.

Golz · #11 1st May 2012, 19:39

think it also depends on a lot other factors, but I can't really answer the question properly, took me about as long as the 'relationship' was (a year) but back then my days were just spent rotting away too, think I can deal with crap and get on with things quicker than then, both through being mentally tougher and just having a more busy 'life'.

Matt_1983 · #12 1st May 2012, 19:48

3.5 years and counting.

Sea · #13 1st May 2012, 20:07

A looooong time

MrPSB · #14 1st May 2012, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by nineo

depends on how much of a clean break it is. that might sound a little clinical but really one thing i've learned is when you break up you cut ties if you want to get over them. because I didn't, and I had it in my head that things could be turned around, it took far much longer than it should have really.

I agree, even if it's an amicable thing, you can't start to heal while you're still holding on to it.

Ceega · #15 1st May 2012, 20:50

Coming up to seven months and I'm still not quite there.

diplodocus · #16 1st May 2012, 22:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPSB

I agree, even if it's an amicable thing, you can't start to heal while you're still holding on to it.

Yeah I did this, after a nine year relationship carried on living together. It wasn't till after we went our separate ways, 9 months on that I realised I'd just been prolonging the agony. Probably got over it about 6 months after that.

Johnni · #17 1st May 2012, 22:28

I'm not sure but i am a.......

Golz · #18 2nd May 2012, 00:00

^ Sums up how I feel atm.

Only_human · #19 2nd May 2012, 01:17

I can't say i've ever been left heartbroken by an ex so I wouldn't know but I always wait at least 6 months before dating again just as a sign of respect.

However, I have had my heart shattered by a certain family member two years ago and that wound is still seeping now as fresh as that day. I don't want to go into what it was but I don't think i'll ever forgive them or talk to them again.

I think if I ever do fall in love and they seriously bruise my heart, I highly doubt i'd ever move on at least not deep down but who knows.

Leif Erikson · #20 2nd May 2012, 09:26

The best advice is to get back out there so you don't fall into the trap of idealising someone who just doesn't want you anymore.[/QUOTE]

I think you are right and believe me that person is not perfect. My first serious boyfriend took years to get over and I am sort of over my next one after 1 and a half years. It doesn't help that I get very depressed but I tell myself (and others in the same position) that it is the depression not because I am still upset.

Cake, a bottle of ale and a good film normally help too x

MrPSB · #21 2nd May 2012, 09:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by diplodocus

Yeah I did this, after a nine year relationship carried on living together. It wasn't till after we went our separate ways, 9 months on that I realised I'd just been prolonging the agony. Probably got over it about 6 months after that.

I did very similar after a 5ish year relationship, the year or so after the breakup I spent still living together helped to make me the man I am today (i.e. a mess).

liberateourworld · #22 4th May 2012, 05:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by diplodocus

Yeah I did this, after a nine year relationship carried on living together. It wasn't till after we went our separate ways, 9 months on that I realized I'd just been prolonging the agony. Probably got over it about 6 months after that.

Sounds very similar, we stretched out the break up from June to December. We weren't together, but we were exclusive, it just stretched out the break up. Was confusing, not quite friends with benefits neither quite boy/girlfriend - only we understood it! Best for a clean break, out of your life, living together or still seeing each other, just break it off!