Internet dating discussion on SAUK

Johnni · #1 3rd August 2011, 19:15

Seems a lot of people would like the dating thread back and unfortunately it has had an ***8216;interesting***8217; history being removed a fair few times. I think most of us agree making fun of other people***8217;s profiles is not on and I agree that that is one of the 2 guidelines that the thread failed to comply with.

However the other guideline imposed on the thread I think was less clear cut. I***8217;ll explain, it was obvious that there was a core group of regular posters in the thread that discussed dating in general and would appear on first view to maybe exclude and ignore other members with questions about internet dating however reviewing the last thread and from what others have said I can***8217;t see that many or hardly anyone being ignored or excluded from the conversation. Anyone coming into the thread was replied to 9 times out of 10. Compared to other threads we see a similar trend as I see other people***8217;s posts not being directly replied to also inc mine lol which may most likely been down to members not knowing the answer to the question put forward. I am aware that some members may be a bit apprehensive to post in the thread thou due thinking that they are butting in on the general conversation or feel they will be ignored but I think that can be said for other threads.

There seems to members who are new or contemplating using dating sites and the general dating game and others who are more experienced using such sites and going on dates who want to talk about their experiences and talk about dating in general. Anyone is allowed to create a new dating thread for a issue they have by the way but i think there is a need for a thread with a 'general discussion' theme.
I suggest then that maybe have 2 dating threads for this forum.
One that concerns questions related to advice about certain internet dating sites, which are best, is it worth paying or going for free sites? etc.
The other is one is for general dating /relationship advice/talk where it may or not be related to internet dating specifically but more about experiences people had on their dates, the type of people they go for, past relationships etc.

I think the old thread(s) tried to cater for both sets of topics and therefore felt like the thread was going always off topic even thou 99% of the conversation was about dating.

So what are people***8217;s thoughts on having 2 threads?

ßazza · #2 3rd August 2011, 20:12

=0

Cant discuss this!! Nuke the thread!

Jk.

Honestly.. I personally dont give a shit about that thread in particular and on the otherhand I not even sure im allowed to post an opinion. However I do care about the forum and it most certainly should be something done about this to resolve it. Not sure I think its a good idea - sounds bad - but then I dont care anyway about this particular issue. If that feels good for you then its certainly a suggestion to resolve it. Other than that I seen the cycle of this forum quite a few times now and atm its just going through that dum time again when both sides are kinda maybe not respecting eachother.

I am slightly against general personal discussions that could otherwise be done in private - Though if its a general post about what just experienced or advice, like a regular post, then that should be allowed on forum. Though personal 1 to 1 discussions seems more appropriate in private when it goes on continuously. That is a issue that I think im allowed to discuss and is the side of the members that are in the wrong to keep doing that.

Good luck. I would personally begin to think of outside alternatives too. Seems easier but thats just because I know eventually the forum will sort itself out though it might take some time. However talking about dating was always dicey here even during different periods of forums existence. (For good reason.) When allowed it used to be a savage place.

*Kisses post* "Goodluck!"

Mr. Nobody · #3 4th August 2011, 10:17

as far as I can remember the internet dating thread was over-populated with inane, irreverent banter which often seemed to slight the women that certain people had been dating,..

it rarely came across as intelligent, mature, or sensitive,.. seemed very school-boyish,..
and it was over-used by a handful of people who seemed to dominate the thread for their own personal in-jokes, back-slapping and base humour.

it's a pity that happened, as it's an important, helpful subject that could be a real source of help to a lot of people on here.

I'm sure the Mods didn't keep taking it off for no good reason though.

diplodocus · #4 4th August 2011, 20:59

I think it's a good idea. Then people have no excuse to go off topic and people who genuinely want to share useful information and help others can do so.

GhostOnMagneticTape · #5 5th August 2011, 03:18

From what I remember, it was a small group of people chatting in the thread to one another with the occasional screen grab of messages (why??), I felt it became quite inane, repetitive and clique to read at times for other people wishing to contribute to it.

Maybe try the Social Groups on here?

Defiance · #6 5th August 2011, 08:58

the reason the thread seem to appear "cliquey" was because after a while there seemed to be regulars that post in the thread about plentyoffish/internet dating pretty often and there then there are the rest that make one post like every two months in there or something..

well ofcource the people who are contributing more are going to strike up more of a rapport with each other arn't they?

it's only natural. go to a school, work, or anyother gathering with people and you'll find that the most chatty people there, and those that contribute more to the conversation are going to have more rapport together than the people who hardly ever contribute or sit there saying sweet FA. no use complaining about it, that's life.

and the majority of the talk that did go on there was about internet dating. but naturally (as you find with all threads on here), conversations can go a little offtopic from time to time. but the core subject, was, and has always been, internet dating.

and another thing. if the regulars didn't post there would be no internet dating thread because it would have got buried pretty quickly due to inactivity. and yes, when the regulars did eventually stop posting in there towards the end due to all the flak we were getting ..what happened? the topic soon got buried to like page 10 and no one was posting in it

and i'd like to point out this false myth about people posting in there and not getting their questions answered, that was simply not true. if someone asked a question about dating then they were just as likely to get it answered than if a regular had asked a question. and btw, regulars didn't get all their questions answered 100% of the time either if yous would go back to the thread and take a look.

GhostOnMagneticTape · #7 5th August 2011, 11:03

Well with all due respect it just grew into a conversation between a select few (who probably are friends on chat/messenger as well) from my observations and anyone outside who posted was seemingly ignored. It just dragged on, on, on and on dominating both forum sections it was in... plus the posting guidelines were broken again and again despite warnings.

No harm in using the social groups if people wish to ~~spam~~ post dating links and profiles of themselves.

Defiance · #8 5th August 2011, 11:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

plus the posting guidelines were broken again and again despite warnings.

if you have a fat kid, and allow him to eat all the food he wants, then all of a sudden you say, nope ..srry... you can't have that anymore ..it is to be expected that the fat kid will find it hard to comply? no?

wouldn't it of been better to lay down the law right from the start. then situations like that wouldn't arise...

GhostOnMagneticTape · #9 5th August 2011, 11:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defiance

if you have a fat kid, and allow him to eat all the food he wants, then all of a sudden you say, nope ..srry... you can't have that anymore ..it is to be expected that the fat kid will find it hard to comply? no?

Sorry but that has to the worst analogy I've ever read!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defiance

wouldn't it of been better to lay down the law right from the start. then situations like that wouldn't arise...

Since when do people bother reading posting guidelines and I'm sure they were laid down from the start? Anyway, over to you Mr Occultus.

Defiance · #10 5th August 2011, 11:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

Sorry but that has to the worst analogy I've ever read!

Quote:

Since when do people bother reading posting guidelines and I'm sure they were laid down from the start?

only the "no posting profiles" was laid down at the start. and hardly no one knew about that because no one mentioned it in the topic. The pof thread was up almost 2 years before that rule was actually enforced.

infact, IIRC, even YOU were posting profiles of yourself from time to time

,
i forget if this was during the time you was a moderator lol

as for the other posting guidlines, they were made up along the way.., never from the start....
hence the (attempted) fat kid analogy.

we were left to grow fat, then they took away our cake... ;(

GhostOnMagneticTape · #11 5th August 2011, 12:01

Yup, I did post two links between a long period of months for feedback purposes as my success rate in getting a date was crap (I deleted my pof profile anyway as I've had enough, it was making me depressed and feeling all to lonely).

Though, you do make a fair point about "no posting profiles" rules not being implemented initially, still after it was implemented, people still posted links and screen shots IIRC.

I have a cunning plan, how about if Occultus makes you a moderator of a dating thread or sub forum?

Defiance · #12 5th August 2011, 12:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienBuddha

I have a cunning plan, how about if Occultus makes you a moderator of a dating thread or sub forum?

I think Occultus would rather go chop off both his arms or something, rather than go make me a moderator ..

Occultus · #13 6th August 2011, 16:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnni

Anyone is allowed to create a new dating thread for a issue they have by the way but i think there is a need for a thread with a 'general discussion' theme.

You guys have got a social group for that now, so I'm not sure I see the need, TBH.

petri · #14 28th September 2011, 16:19

I am a bit shy and that***8217;s why I like using dating chat sites. There you can meet with many other interesting singles. You can start chatting and if you really like each other, to continue the date offline.

Mr_Bean · #15 29th September 2011, 10:05

Er is it possible i can make a second Internet dating thread- like a quieter one?

Johnni · #16 29th September 2011, 21:36

By what do you mean quiet?

AnathemA · #17 30th September 2011, 08:53

I can kind of see his point. Not much about actual internet dating gets discussed in the internet dating thread nowadays. It's mostly CS meets, bantah and pie.

Defiance · #18 30th September 2011, 09:37

but CS meets are via the internet

Optimistic · #19 30th September 2011, 12:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by halfemptyglass

I see his point as well. I don't know how you could separate 2 threads though. Some people are just very active daters/socialisers and posters!

Yeah, I think it'd be difficult as its all inter-linked. The only way would be to start a thread on a specific aquery on dating but I imagine it could easily morph into the general discussion again, just because 'dating' is so vague.

Johnni · #20 30th September 2011, 21:50

Im actually pissed off sometimes with the attitude of some people on this place.

There will be a small minority of members who are using internet dating sites and most of those i bet use the thread anyway. If anyone has any questions regarding internet dating then they get responded to and not ignored as accused of before. Someone who doesn't use the thread much but asked for opinions on his profile photo got some feedback. It doesn't help that ppl cant post up their own profiles so we cant help as much with critiquing peoples profiles.
Alot of the posts consist of dating banter, cs meet talk, what happened on people dates, what sites are best but isn't that Internet dating talk?

I think the problem that some have and the reason why ID threads weren't to everyones cup of tea was the general casual conversations it contained between a group of members and i guess some members felt left out or afraid to post think they will get ignored.
If someone wants to create a 'quiet' thread (whatever that is) then go for it but i think if you go start creating similar type threads cos you don't like the current one then you are going down a road where you are alienating yourself from people.

diplodocus · #21 30th September 2011, 23:19

^ Good post, you summed it up well.

Mr_Bean · #22 1st October 2011, 06:23

To be honest it's your prerogative to view the request hostily. It's not meant that way, so I do take exception 'attitude of some members piss me off'. It's a cynical, and disrespectful response to a simple request.

I have been informed by the mod- another dating thread won't be accepted so fair be it. It was just an idea on a spur of the moment. I in fact, posted in the dating thread after I made this post so I had second thoughts about one being needed. But I reserve that right to express that I wanted one- without being jumped on for that. It's not needed. End of discussion from my part.

Caribou · #23 1st October 2011, 06:50

Thread closed.