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[black_mamba]

Sorry about the caps, it's a copy n past jobby:

THE MEANING OF LIFE IS JUST TO BE ALIVE. IT IS SO PLAIN AND SO OBVIOUS AND SO SIMPLE. AND YET, EVERYBODY RUSHES AROUND IN A GREAT PANIC AS IF IT WERE NECESSARY TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING BEYOND THEMSELVES.

Alan Watts

[sparky10]

Originally Posted by black_mamba

Sorry about the caps, it's a copy n past jobby:

THE MEANING OF LIFE IS JUST TO BE ALIVE. IT IS SO PLAIN AND SO OBVIOUS AND SO SIMPLE. AND YET, EVERYBODY RUSHES AROUND IN A GREAT PANIC AS IF IT WERE NECESSARY TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING BEYOND THEMSELVES.

Alan Watts

great quote it is saying live in the present, dont worry about the future
or lament the past. when you are in the moment there is a sense of calm and control.
Let everyone rush around , do your own thing and you will get to where you are supposed to be

[Mr_Bean]

a nice one on judging people:

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-judgi...es-us-unhappy/

***8220;It***8217;s not what you look at that matters, it***8217;s what you see.***8221; ~Henry David Thoreau

A friend of mine likes to joke that dying will be a relief because it will put an end to the ***8220;heavy burden of judging***8221; as she calls it. She envisions herself lying in a hospital bed and, moments before death, noticing the ceiling and thinking, ***8220;What a hideous green.***8221;

Here***8217;s a modest proposal: Vow that for the rest of the day, you won***8217;t judge your friends and you won***8217;t judge any strangers you happen to see. This would include a friend who***8217;s a non-stop talker; it would include a friend who***8217;s always complaining about his life. It would include the strangers you pass on the street or see in a waiting room.

I call it a modest proposal because I***8217;m not even addressing the issue of self-judgment, let alone BP or Gaddafi. No. I***8217;m just asking you not to judge friends or strangers.

It***8217;s entirely possible you won***8217;t make it past a few minutes without judging someone!

So, why not just ***8220;judge away?***8221;

To answer that, let me start by drawing a distinction between judgment and discernment. Discernment means perceiving the way things are, period.

Judgment is what we add to discernment when we make a comparison (implicit or explicit) between how things or people are and how we think they ought to be. So, in judgment, there***8217;s an element of dissatisfaction with the way things are and a desire to have things be the way we want them to be.

Take that talkative friend. To think or speak in a neutral, purely descriptive tone, ***8220;She can talk non-stop for 15 minutes,***8221; is an example of discernment***8212;assuming the assessment is accurate, we***8217;re just describing the way things are.

On the other hand, to think or speak in a negative tone, ***8220;She can talk non-stop for 15 minutes,***8221; is an example of judgment because that negative tone reveals our dissatisfaction with how she is and our desire for her to be different.

The same analysis applies to the complaining friend. If we say, ***8220;He complained about this life the entire evening,***8221; depending on our tone, it could be a neutral observation (discernment) or it could reflect our dissatisfaction with him and our desire for him to be different (a judgment).

Now think about strangers. If you***8217;re like me, there***8217;s almost always a subtle judgment waiting in the wings. ***8220;She could stand to lose some weight.***8221; ***8220;Doesn***8217;t he know how to pick a tie that goes with a shirt?***8221;

So, again, why not just ***8220;judge away***8221;? Recall that in judgment, there***8217;s an element of dissatisfaction with the way things are and a desire to have things (in my examples: people) be the way we want them to be.

So, judgment is just a recipe for suffering: start with our dissatisfaction over how a person happens to be and mix in our desire for them to be otherwise. To make that suffering nice and rich, be sure the desire clings tightly to the dissatisfaction!

It doesn***8217;t mean we have to hang out with someone who talks more than we***8217;d like or who does nothing but complains about his life. But we can make the choice about whether to be with them without judging them. When we do, it feels good; it has that peaceful quality of letting go of clinging to the way we want people to be.

As for those strangers, maybe the woman I saw has a medical condition that results in weight gain, or maybe she eats to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Perhaps the man was wearing the only tie he owns. Judging them did nothing to ease their suffering, and it certainly didn***8217;t ease mine.

Now try this experiment. Think about a couple of friends who annoy you in some way. Can you let them be the way they are without desiring them to be otherwise? Sticking with my two examples, can you open your heart to her talkativeness or to his constant complaining?

Walt Whitman said, ***8220;I contain multitudes.***8221; I like to think of the world as containing multitudes. I do this by consciously thinking: ***8220;This world is big enough for both the talkative and the untalkative; for both the complainers and the non-complainers.***8221;

Judging is such a well-ingrained response that I hardly notice when I***8217;m doing it, so I know I have a lifetime of conditioning to overcome. But it***8217;s worth it because when I don***8217;t judge, I feel the benefits in both my mind and my body: I feel as light as a feather.

I truly hope I can shed that heavy burden of judging before that moment in the hospital bed when I***8217;m starring at the green ceiling!

[Mr_Bean]

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/6-tips-re...eel-calm-free/

[Mr_Bean]

"We seem to be like flies caught in honey. Because life is sweet we do not want to give it up, and yet the more we become involved in it, the more we are trapped, limited, and frustrated. We love it and hate it at the same time. We fall in love with people and possessions only to be tortured by anxiety for them. The conflict is not only between ourselves and the surrounding universe; it is between ourselves and ourselves"

[Mr_Bean]

A football one: Mr Alex Ferguson

"I was a Pele fan as a kid. There was always this debate over Pele and Maradona. Well I grew up in the Pele era. In the present day you've got to look at Messi and Ronaldo. All of them had the courage to take the ball and the courage to make sure they're not going to be intimidated by their opponents. The courage to express themselves all the time"

[Clive]

"There's only one way of life, and that's your own." - The Levellers.

[Mr_Bean]

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jami...?utm_hp_ref=uk

[Mr_Bean]

On Shyness:
http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Shyness

[Mr_Bean]

Books recommended on SAS:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...e-most-579129/

[Veronicamars]

Originally Posted by black_mamba

Sorry about the caps, it's a copy n past jobby:

THE MEANING OF LIFE IS JUST TO BE ALIVE. IT IS SO PLAIN AND SO OBVIOUS AND SO SIMPLE. AND YET, EVERYBODY RUSHES AROUND IN A GREAT PANIC AS IF IT WERE NECESSARY TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING BEYOND THEMSELVES.

Alan Watts

Yes... just yes!

Here's one:
“Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.”

-Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

I hope it's not to inappropriate because it's from a cartoon (and great one at that!) but it really resonates with me because I always have a fear of not being good when I try something for the first time

[Mr_Bean]

A reverse perspective for christmas as a singleton:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisen...s-pretty-great

[rudster]

Originally Posted by Mark09

The concept of Toxic Shame- a mechanism possibly behind shyness/anxiety:

"...Knowing and understanding that your shame-bound emotions are something that was done to you, and is not really you (i.e. an unchangeable aspect of your personality) is an enormous revelation in itself that holds vast potential for jump starting your personal growth. No longer are you doomed to identify with an emotional characteristic…i.e., you aren’t shy – you were programmed with an emotional flaw that caused you to utilize shy behavior in order to correct the problem. You adopted shyness as a shield against your shame, to keep it boxed in where it couldn’t torment you. It was a pretty ingenious solution really. The drawback to using one type of emotion to fight another one is that the cure we create for ourselves produces its own unique set of problems that limit your ability to live life to its fullest expression. The cure ends up robbing you of the complete human experience. Not to mention the addictive behaviors they can lead to in our efforts to suppress them.""

so true

[Mr_Bean]

I like this:
"'On top of the world: Fearless and certain, with limitless energy, incredible ability, amazing clarity of thought***8230;able to conquer anything***8230;Vibrant with an ***8220;aliveness***8221; impossible to describe. Inspired***8230;bursting with creativity, brilliant ideas, and plans for exciting things to do***8230; In total control, optimistic, tasting a level of freedom that few ever find***8230; a golden moment in which your life was rich with purpose, meaning, awe, and inner peace.'"

[Mr_Bean]

"'Intellectualizing about our problems is complex but easy, while doing something about them is simple but difficult"