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  #1  
Old 5th November 2017, 08:10
vaxjo vaxjo is offline
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Default My boring whinging introduction

So Im a 47 year old male whos never had a gf, never even kissed a girl.

And because of my looks(some people still think I look in my mid thirties) Im constantly being told why haven’t you a girlfriend, don’t you want to start a family aargh!!!!

My SA is so bad Ive only spoken to my brother on 3 occasions in the last 17 years and even now the thought of just turning up unannounced to visit fills me with dread and terror.

Last had a friend in the year 2000. I long since realised that the only friends Ive had always made friends with me, my own few futile attempts have always resulted in disaster.

My SA has existed for ever even to this day I can remember the terror of my first day at infants school and having to make friends. Fortuantly the most popular kid there made friends with me!

My parents were very sociable . They had literally dozens of close supportive friends and about every decade they would ditch them and find a complete new set of close friends. Am I adopted ? How could I not inherit even a fraction of they sociability?

Outside of work I have zero social contact. People at work think I’m a confident outgoing funny guy if a bit anti social grumpy and cynical. If I have conversation with with people they seem think someone like me has a great social life. I do nothing to encorage this go figure! If they only knew the reality that I’m an incrediably boring guy with no social life.

The anti-social personna is a thing I use to cover up my SA. Which of course makes it even worse as people leave me alone thinking thats what I want.

In fact I often wonder do I have SA or am I just boring?

I just cant believe anyone would want to be friends with me, this has resulted in a lot of lost potential friends. Maybe I have self esteem issues?

I think I must have ‘loser’ gene because 90 % of females take an instant dislike to me. Its not uncommon for women to walk pass me in the street and say “did you see that ugly guy” when they think Im out of earshot.

I find myself actually looking a people with pyhsical deformaties and wishing I looked like them how bizarre is that!

None of this was helped by mercilessly verbal bullying at school by the whole year(no exaggeration). It got to the point that even the ringleaders were so embarressed they came upto me one day out of the blue and said they going to stop the bullying. It was obvious from the conversation they thought it had gone too far.

University wasnt much better for me. The first day I loocked myself in my room for three days and god was that painful not going to the loo for 3 days

hmm this was suppossed to an introduction but turned into a rambling whinge about my life.Sorry! It was longer but i cut out all the stories of betrayal, slights, self pity and self-destructive behaviour.

Hope someone reads this and takes comfort from the fact that ‘hey at least my life isnt so bad.’

On the brightside not having a social life or friends leaves me plenty of time for videogames!

Heyho that’s life, you got to make the best of it as you can I suppose.
Just what is it all for?
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  #2  
Old 5th November 2017, 08:15
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: My boring whinging introduction

Welcome to the forum, Vaxjo
I think you’d be surprised at just how many of us can relate to much of what you’ve written about, you’re not alone here.
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  #3  
Old 5th November 2017, 11:52
Silent Treatment Silent Treatment is online now
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Default Re: My boring whinging introduction

I enjoyed your whinging.
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  #4  
Old 5th November 2017, 13:03
Rianne Rianne is offline
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Default Re: My boring whinging introduction

Welcome to the forum Vaxjo. Hopefully you will find it helpful. There are folks on here older than you who struggle and can relate to some of what you've said. (Im 55) I like the fact you have kept a sense of humour in your observations of life! I'm fortunate in that I have a husband and family but still a lot of what you said resonates with me. I feel people walk past me and make negative comments. I was horribly bullied at school. I believe that the friends I do have remain friends because they feel sorry for me ☹️. ( or like to have a laugh about me behind my back) I too have wondered do I have SA or am I just incredibly boring? But I do have SA and I do have incredibly low self esteem. It's not a good way to feel. Coming on here should give you a balanced perspective because when we get lost in ourselves we see only the negatives, and in reality there are far more positives than we actually appreciate!
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  #5  
Old 5th November 2017, 15:42
Rianne Rianne is offline
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Default Re: My boring whinging introduction

^ Happy Birthday for 13th!! Posting early so I don't forget !!!
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  #6  
Old 13th November 2017, 12:36
J-Dog J-Dog is offline
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Default Re: My boring whinging introduction

Hey man, Sounds like you've had a rough deal.

Have you tried doing things like meditation, working out, eating healthy etc?

They seem to help me when I'm in a rut!
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