How cynical are you?

[Appear]

I'm trying to be less cynical but I don't think it's working. I see all earnestness as self-deception, all satisfaction as delusion. I'm a real good time.

I might be exaggerating slightly but only slightly. I saw a group of people laughing together in a light, carefree manner recently and I wished unflattering gum recession on all of them. How cynical are you?

[Chess&Junkfood]

Kinda! Sorta! Maybe even a smidgen! Although I take great pride in regularly changing my cynical filter. Especially as that filter soon gets mighty clogged up!!! You could even say that it oozes with cynicism! But once I've managed to scoop out all of that bile, then I'm good to go!

[Lee S]

I learned a new word - ''bloviation''. I had to Google that one.

Moderately cynical.

[Merry]

Not very.
I think it's a very UK trait and is quite harmful really.
My parents simply refuse to acknowledge anything pleasant, in case it seems "soft".
Silly business.
I grew up very disparaging, sarcastic, defensive, cynical, because that's how my family are. I got bored of being negative.
I have children, which definitely made a difference to me, as I wanted them to grow up cheerful and optimistic and they have.
It amazes me that my parents still have that desire to take the wind out of people's sails, piss on their bonfires, and my children can visit full of cheerful joy in their own lives and leave a few hours later deflated and silently tearful.
I'm not a grinning eejit, but equally I despise negativity for it's own sake. I think it's probably left over from Victorian values, raised up a notch by the miserable, negative boomer generation, who had such comparatively easy times (in terms of jobs/economy) but can't seem to find joy in anything, only criticism.
My response to other people's negativity is generally "oh ok". and then I leave the situation. I am too old to look for the bad in things, I know it's there, but focusing on it all the time is just a bit miserable and pointless.

[gregarious_introvert]

Too cynical to vote in a poll. What's the point of that?

I am nowhere near as cynical as I used to be, although I have a dry sense of humour which may make it seem that I am. I see myself as a positive and optimistic person overall.

[Merry]

I think humour is different as humour is essentially an optimistic trait.

I found a good description of cynicism but sadly can't share it. It says it's a deep mistrust of people and a "sneering" attitude towards anything sincere. That's what I can't stand, sneering.
It might be a more extreme part of a cynical personality though.

I feel like sneering is more akin to spitefulness. It's aim is to make someone feel bad.

Whereas humour in general is aiming to make people laugh, which makes them feel good.
I suppose there's also a difference in people being cynical about outward things, like say politics, and using that to bond with people around them. Or being the kind of person that is cynical about everything and always has something negative to say, because they feel spiteful about other people's happiness or success. That's probably more spite than cynicism though.

[Scurrilous Rumour]

Like other people, I'm a bit less cynical than I used to be. I still have a default setting that looks for selfish motivations in everything I see and hear, but the older I get the more I think that most people are just trying to do their best.

So my personal cynicism meter wobbles around the moderately cynical and somewhat cynical areas of the dial.

The problem is that making generalisations about human nature can be difficult. On the one hand I believe that when push comes to shove human beings are profoundly selfish creatures motivated by self-interest. This is why I am deeply suspicious of people who publicise themselves as overtly selfless and caring - I tend to think that they are likely to be the opposite. On the other hand I also believe that most people are fairly decent. There are plenty of scumbags in the world, obviously, but the vast majority of people are just trying to navigate life without getting hurt or hurting anyone else. And if they can help some people along the way they will.

So my take on this is that it probably boils down to how you think about human nature.

[biscuits]

I don't even know! I actually have no idea.

Is there a quiz/test?

[girlinterrupted]

Not very, depends what about. I think I'm quite a pragmatic optimist so certainly not Pollyanna territory but more often than not a glass half full type

[BFG_]

I am the epitome of cynical.

[Tembo]

Very cynical. The past few months, or maybe longer, I’ve been far more cynical than previously. I’m really fed up with most people and society in general. Some lovely people on here of course, which has stopped me being completely cynical. I would really like to change that though, and not be quite the misery.

However I do think that a bit of cynicism is healthy though. I find if people are too far the other way of cynical, they tend to brush off anyone’s concerns about important things with their relentless positivity. Like when people complain about low pay and poor conditions and someone says ‘well we should be grateful’ or when politicians cause the deaths of thousands of people due to carelessness and people say ‘Boris tried his best’.

So like many things, I think balance is important.

[choirgirl]

Quite cynical, I learnt that the hard way.

[sophie79]

Originally Posted by Tembo

However I do think that a bit of cynicism is healthy though. I find if people are too far the other way of cynical, they tend to brush off anyone’s concerns about important things with their relentless positivity. Like when people complain about low pay and poor conditions and someone says ‘well we should be grateful’ or when politicians cause the deaths of thousands of people due to carelessness and people say ‘Boris tried his best’.

Toxic positivity can be just as harmful as being overly cynical, yeah. Like you say, a good balance between the two is a healthy place to be.

[Scurrilous Rumour]

Tembo's point about 'positivity', or 'toxic positivity' as it was termed by Sophie, is interesting but seems to be specifically aimed at politicians, which is almost a separate category as far as I'm concerned. All politicians lie all the time. How do you tell when a politician is lying? Their lips are moving. Cynicism is merely a necessary default setting when listening to politicians. What you need to watch out for is your own cynicism of politicians becoming selective due to personal sympathies so that you give certain politicians a free pass. That always ends the same way: in disillusionment.

The other aspect touched upon, which is more to do with life in general, is distinguishing between intent and cock-ups. Personally, I believe most things in life are a continual struggle against cock-ups, carelessness and laziness. Intent is rarely malicious or machiavellian. I genuinely believe most people mean well, but things go wrong. Endlessly. If you have ever tried to organise anything, ever, involving more than 2 people, you will know that your best laid plans will need altering within the first hour. It's inevitable. If you have lots of people of people involved, cock-ups are guaranteed. I would say that being aware of this is realistic rather than cynical. Cynicism is about suspicion of people lying, cheating and getting up to no good for their own self interest, which describes all politicians. Awareness of life's randomness, unpredictability and tendency to go wrong is merely pragmatism.

[Tembo]

Originally Posted by Scurrilous Rumour

Tembo's point about 'positivity', or 'toxic positivity' as it was termed by Sophie, is interesting but seems to be specifically aimed at politicians, which is almost a separate category as far as I'm concerned. All politicians lie all the time. How do you tell when a politician is lying? Their lips are moving. Cynicism is merely a necessary default setting when listening to politicians. What you need to watch out for is your own cynicism of politicians becoming selective due to personal sympathies so that you give certain politicians a free pass. That always ends the same way: in disillusionment.

The other aspect touched upon, which is more to do with life in general, is distinguishing between intent and cock-ups. Personally, I believe most things in life are a continual struggle against cock-ups, carelessness and laziness. Intent is rarely malicious or machiavellian. I genuinely believe most people mean well, but things go wrong. Endlessly. If you have ever tried to organise anything, ever, involving more than 2 people, you will know that your best laid plans will need altering within the first hour. It's inevitable. If you have lots of people of people involved, cock-ups are guaranteed. I would say that being aware of this is realistic rather than cynical. Cynicism is about suspicion of people lying, cheating and getting up to no good for their own self interest, which describes all politicians. Awareness of life's randomness, unpredictability and tendency to go wrong is merely pragmatism.

Some very good points here. Well said.

I wasn’t specifically talking about politicians though. Another example maybe, is the workplace. I think you need a touch of cynicism at work (or maybe there’s a better word for it in that context, maybe pragmatism as you say. I’m not great with definitions).
There’s a few at work who have complete faith in management. Now, the managers at my place are good and I quite like them. But if you’re not careful you’ll end up doing extra work without any reward - ‘would you be able to just….?’ etc etc. Of course, the odd favour is fine and I don’t mind that, but some have ended up doing regular tasks that really someone on a higher pay grade should be doing.

I’m not sure if what I’m talking about makes much sense tbh, and if I have the definition of cynicism correct.

[sophie79]

Originally Posted by Tembo

I’m not sure if what I’m talking about makes much sense tbh, and if I have the definition of cynicism correct.

It makes sense to me. You reminded me of my boss in my last job, who would carefully word extra requests so it sounded like doing them would benefit you instead of him. He was an excellent word smith. It was important to be really cynical about anything he said, otherwise you'd find yourself working far harder than you should.

[Merry]

My understanding is that cynicism means an underlying belief that all people have deceitful, selfish motivations.
So if someone is cynical they treat all people suspiciously. That kind of deep mistrust must really get in the way of being able to form friendships or relationships or just enjoy life I expect?

I think it's definitely wise to be cynical in certain situations, where there's a different dynamic in relationships, like in work as you say, because people rarely end up in authority by being easy going and pleasant to everyone! Whether taking things with a pinch of salt in certain situations would qualify someone as being a cynical person? Not sure? Probably not I reckon, maybe more just sensible? insightful? or pragmatic?

[choirgirl]

Pragmatism is probably a better way of looking at it, in most cases. I didn't invent myself as a cynical hyper-individualist because it didn't meet my psychological needs at the time, but I might have gone through life being pleasantly surprised a lot rather than unpleasantly dismayed if I had.

[avoider]

I’ve been extremely naive my entire life.For some time I’ve been trying to teach myself to be a lot more cynical. It seems a trait you do need to cultivate in order to understand/survive the world.