Finally mustered the courage to join and post

[LoubyLou]

Hi, I know that title probably sounds pathetic to the outside world but I'm guessing a majority of people on here know the feeling. I've been looking around on this forum as a guest for about 3 weeks now and finally mustered up the courage to post, a mixture of fear of no-one relying and realising I am actually invisible (as I sometimes suspect) which gives me comfort sometimes and at the same time breaks my heart OR the fear that someone may actually reply and I may have to interact with someone (shock horror), yes even when it's not face to face it actually scares me. I'm 44, recently been through the break up of a very long term relationship, I don't have any friends and I am so very lonely, even though I have SA I still feel the need for social interaction. I have family but none of them understands mental illness or why I'm like I am (I don't understand why I'm like I am). I wake up in the morning and I'm terrified of the day ahead and wonder how am I going to get from here to the end of the day. If anyone else on here feels similarly to me please let me know (yes, I think the fear of being invisible is greater than the fear of a reply) or is it just me that feels this way?

[moose]

welcome to the forum loubylou

[Mo34]

Hey welcome to the forum

[Mr. Nobody]

welcome louby lou,.
yes, I'm sure many feel the same as you do,
welcome to the forum, hope it's a help for you,.

really sorry to hear about your relationship break-up,. that sucks

[Indigo_]

Welcome to the forum

[JohnnyBoy55]

Welcome LoubyLou, and well done for pushing those boundaries and pluckin up the courage to post

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I think I lurked for months before plucking up the courage to post on here. I never shut up now.
It's good to see you, Loubylou. Welcome aboard.

[LoubyLou]

Thank you all for such a warm welcome, I feel silly worrying about posting now.

[kirbycrackle]

Hello loubylou

[LoubyLou]

Hi, Miggs the Terrible

[KookyBlue]

Welcome to the forum

[Meta]

Hi loubylou, I can relate to your trepidation. Specifically wanting to interact but fearing the interaction and finding comfort in invisibility but being deeply sadened by it too. So conflicting but is good to know you're not alone in your thoughts. I don't pretend to know how you feel but I can relate to much of what you said. I'm a total newbie too but welcome.

[Kipper]

Bless you and welcome Loubylou, once you've made your first posting it does get easier.