all about me!

Hi all,
Although I've always known I've had a 'problem' that is more than just shyness it's only the last year or so (since I had my first child) that it's really started effecting my everyday living. (it did before but wasn't really an issue; I could cope or put up with the feelings). Now I feel it is not only affecting my life but my daughters. I can't use the phone to call even friends. I get so anxious and have to rehearse every word before I can even bring myself to pick up the phone. I never answer it usless it's my mum, best friend or husband (I'll often even ignore friends). I find it hard to go anywhere new, including shops. I can't make small talk or start a conversation with unfamiliar people and even struggle with people I do know well (like my mother-in-law who I have known for 9 years) as I just don't know what to say. When I was younger I had loads of time off school because I just couldn't face going and the same when I started work. I even gave up work mainly because of this and am now a stay at home mum. Even writing this, knowing everyone will read it and judge me by it, terrifies me.I finally admitted all this to my husband last night and he is going to make me an appointment at the doctors although I am so anxious about speaking to them.
If you have got this far, thanks for reading. It's been good just to get it off my chest.
Helen

Hi Helen
Well done for posting your among friends here we all know how you feel and we won't judge you. I'm glad you have spoken to your husband and are going to the doctors, the more support you can get the better

I can hardly give advice to much about SA as I have only just recognised I have this kiind of problem having a name for it myself.

I can however give you support from a mother to another. Its still early days for your body to get over having your baby. Your hormones will still be topsy turvy and will be for upto 2 years after the birth.

I would say try to relax by telling yourself that maybe some of your symptoms are completely natural as you are a new mum. Be gentle on yourself and accept that you and baby come first.

Thank you for your kind words and friendly welcome to the board. It is nice to know that there are other people out there with similar problems to myself and it is actually a named condition that I am suffering from. I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt like this.

Helen