Can you trust people

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

Ive had a lot of bad experiences with people recently letting me down. Even my mum is acting shitty with me...I feel like I dont want to trust anyone anymore. Im always too nice to people and they take advantage!!
I feel like I need to do 3 strikes and you are out now!!

[horseblanket]

My mental health disorder makes me switch way too quickly between trusting and not trusting, one day I can tell someone something in confidence then within hours I can think they are going to use that information against me

It's not helped by the fact that someone in my real life has literally stalked me online, he has stalked people offline as well, I can't say more for fear of him finding this site

[biscuits]

Yes, I think I go in trusting that people are people. That means that at times they're going to put themself first, have other commitments, might have missed a thought before acting or speaking. Just like any of us would/do.

If you have a chat and they don't take accountability, or you can't empathises with their rational, or if they choose not to modify their behaviour (if applicable) then I'd be less inclined to spend time with them and would tell them that.

I think I'm fairly trusting of others and can also suss people out fairly quickly.

[BFG_]

**** no!

[gregarious_introvert]

Trust has to be earned, but if you don't start from a position of trust, you don't give someone a chance to earn it. I prefer to trust (in a guarded way) everyone until they show me that I shouldn't; to me, the alternative leads to a very negative mindset.

[Dougella]

^ I agree with that.

[Chess&Junkfood]

Absolutely! Until they cross you!!! Although I don't like holding grudges. After all, those that are perfect among us, let them knee someone in their love basket! Thus says the Lord. Or something like that.

[BFG_]

^Grudges are my favourite hobby

[Chess&Junkfood]

In your defence BFG, it's good to have a hobby! And don't let anyone tell you differently!

[Tembo]

No.

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

I still dont know how I feel about this! I think I was in a really bad mood the other night but then a nice friend visited me and I realised that you cant judge everyone!

I think I get so dissapointed when people let me down. Im just too sensitive maybe?

[genovese]

Originally Posted by Shy_pretty_Angela

Im just too sensitive maybe?

I'd say you're more aware than sensitive. Which is a good thing!

I've always liked..

Trust everyone but always cut the cards.
Have a general faith in the good intentions of others, but never neglect to take appropriate precautions against being deceived or cheated

People's motivations and behaviour, taken in insolation, can give you a skewed view. You don't know what kinda day someone is having. So always observe people's language, behaviour around others as much as with you over time to get a much fuller picture.
Sometimes there is just that gut feeling that someone's energy is a bit off. In those situations, follow the gospel according to BFG.

[horseblanket]

I'm rejection sensitive as well, which means I feel I have to reject others before they reject me

[biscuits]

^ that's good that you recognise that in yourself. It's a difficult cycle to break out of. Hope you come across some good eggs.

[horseblanket]

The likes of me don't deserve friends

[Merry]

I trust people in general, but also I don't rely on people at all, which I suppose means that I don't need to trust anyone particularly?
I kind of take people at face value, but don't really expect anything from anyone. I'm not really sure what people mean when they say they feel "let down" by a person as I don't really expect anything from anyone.

I think if it was someone say cancelling an arrangement I wouldn't feel let down in that people are busy and stuff happens, I cancel arrangements because of lots of different reasons that crop up.

I'm not sure in what other ways people feel let down by others?

In terms of someone being mean, like your mum being not very nice atm Angela, I do relate to that, my mum is always horrible to me, but I don't feel let down by that, or that it means I shouldn't trust other people. I realised a long time ago that most people are nicer than my mum! It's her issue, not mine. I try to minimise being around people who are unkind or spiteful or just hard work in some way.

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

I think I generally trust someone until they let me down. Its just the expectation that certain things will happen and when they dont you feel like the rug has been pulled from under you..I love my mum but her attitude is so funny sometimes. She is so argumentative and then I feel like she doesnt love me and I get upset.