Panicking

[Mae]

I have just realised I have social anxiety disorder all my life. I have an event to go to on the weekend and I am freaking out because the last time I went out with my partner I embarrassed him because I completed isolated myself from everyone there. I was judged as being stuck up and rude, but they didn't know what I was going through. I really feel uncomfortable interacting with people outside my circle .

[Azi]

Hi Mae, welcome aboard! Have you explained to your partner how you feel? Maybe you can come up with some strategies for making it through this event together?

[overthinker]

Welcome Mae . I know exactly how you feel. I've got a couple of things coming up that I'm dreading too. Hope talking to people here will help you

[TTSP]

Welcome Mae

[Mae]

I have spoken to my partner, but I don't think he is taking me seriously. His reply was face your fears, which is true, but I was expecting more support.

[Azi]

Is he generally supportive about other things? My hubby didn't get SA at all to begin with. I think partly it's that SA people typically try and hide all of their anxiety so no one knows, which has the unfortunate consequence of making it very difficult for others to really understand our issues when we do finally 'come clean'.

You could perhaps show him some of the info about SA on our main site, or on NHS direct and relate it to your experiences.

[MrDan]

I've always felt there's a slight stigma when it comes to illnesses that aren't physically present to others. It's not always easy to understand anxieties, and some people will use it as an excuse to get out of situations which is why I feel some people believe we are being a bit silly. So yes step 1 would be to educate him on the anxiety and then perhaps tell him of some personal, battles you're has to face with said anxiety. Hope it works out Mae and welcome to the forum.

[snowman27]

That's exactly why I think I have no chance of dating anyone anytime soon. It is difficult to understand and I only managed to put a name to it recently. Before that I just thought I was odd. But now we know and from reading others you can always make yourself feel better thinking you are not alone. That has helped me a lot recently. :-)

[HaVoK]

I have been in that situation and been 'that person' many times. I find that sticking with the person you know / your partner is key because you can gain confidence from that person and also in terms of conversation you could relay things back at them. For example "oh, he/she always does that" which would turn the attention to that person. Also if your partner is good with conversation then the flow would be strong and you could join in as and when you felt needed/comfortable.

The only problem with this is that you do tend to 'shadow' that person for the duration of the event which can lead to you either feeling guilty and bad or them being frustrated. So to discuss and agree ahead of time would be wise.

I don't know what event this is but would it be possible to take a friend who you get on well with?