How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Tembo]

^ Thanks Dougella.

I had thought about that, but I can barely face the basic things and little changes, let alone something as big as that. I think it will remain just a dream, for now at least.

[Blackflies]

Originally Posted by AEB

Sorry for the bad time with your family, but at least you came through it okay.
Content is good. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt content...

I feel lonely, angry, unmotivated, and in need of emotional support, but there is no one who can give it to me at the level I need it. My family is useless for that. They speak an entirely different emotional language. Or maybe they are almost emotional mutes. I feel like I need to sit down with like-minded people suffering similarly to me and talk it out for hours — and I still wouldn’t be done. But I have no one like that in my life. And I’m no good at opening up online either. I feel emotionally and intellectually starved. What I really need is a good support group, I suppose, but those are hard or impossible to find in my area.

Yes I’ve learned to lower my expectations and with it has come a greater sense of peace. Some could say, accepting what is, is partly going backwards but wishing my life is entirely different can just feel more crippling than motivating.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling blue. I think when many people ask “how are you?” it very much feels like you can’t answer without fearing opening a can of worms, nobody wants to digest. It’s very tricky to tap in and out of the emotional when you can see others switching off. It’s really hurtful too because it often takes encouragement to even get to that point of being honest about how you’re feeling without feeling like someone is watch tapping. I think some people just can’t handle the realities of talking about emotions when perhaps they feel you talking about yours will some how lead to them becoming more aware of theirs and consequently they feel more vulnerable to not being able to put a cap of their own.

[Mike.Kzov]

^^^^ Sorry you're feeling crappy Tembo. For what it's worth, I think you should give yourself more credit for all you do and have achieved. For one, maintaining employment with mental health issues isn't easy at all. And going from your other posts, you seem to do a lot of other things that aren't remotely easy with SA, like keeping friendships going and travelling.

Are there any little positives you can focus on and work on? Like hobbies, walking, exercise, learning something new, etc.? (Not that this will magic away the bigger problems you mention ofc).

[Bluebear]

Originally Posted by AEB

Sorry for the bad time with your family, but at least you came through it okay.
Content is good. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt content...

I feel lonely, angry, unmotivated, and in need of emotional support, but there is no one who can give it to me at the level I need it. My family is useless for that. They speak an entirely different emotional language. Or maybe they are almost emotional mutes. I feel like I need to sit down with like-minded people suffering similarly to me and talk it out for hours — and I still wouldn’t be done. But I have no one like that in my life. And I’m no good at opening up online either. I feel emotionally and intellectually starved. What I really need is a good support group, I suppose, but those are hard or impossible to find in my area.

My family are either abusers (who I now avoid) or mostly emotional mutes. I don't have any advice on how to find a good support group. Those run by professionals are almost impossible to find. I'm very bad at opening up online (apart from with a very few who also hide in the shadows)

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by Tembo

Feeling incredibly low.

I feel so stuck in my life. Stuck in a poorly paid and stressful job and I have no idea how to get out of it. I feel stuck in my house, still living with Mum. There’s no way I can afford to have my own place, unless I had a partner. And I’m stuck with that too - no idea why no one has ever been interested in me. Stuck in this shit disgusting society full of selfishness and hate. My mental health - mainly depression, is worsening and so is my physical disability. I don’t know how to change any of this. I don’t know why life can’t be mostly good, rather than mostly rubbish. I feel so incredibly alone too. This is the only place I can talk about this.

I can fully empathise

[Dougella]

^ Sorry you're feeling so low do you want to talk about what's happened?

[biscuits]

Originally Posted by The Devil, Probably.

Feeling low, physically sick, alone, the saddest I have felt all year. Not because it's NYs but because of what's happened.

those are all very intense and overwhelming feelings. It might help to type about it on here or to write it down somewhere.

[Tembo]

Originally Posted by Mike.Kzov

^^^^ Sorry you're feeling crappy Tembo. For what it's worth, I think you should give yourself more credit for all you do and have achieved. For one, maintaining employment with mental health issues isn't easy at all. And going from your other posts, you seem to do a lot of other things that aren't remotely easy with SA, like keeping friendships going and travelling.

Are there any little positives you can focus on and work on? Like hobbies, walking, exercise, learning something new, etc.? (Not that this will magic away the bigger problems you mention ofc).

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. You’re right, I should give myself more credit. Although I feel that others can’t really appreciate that, and especially society. Society seems quite harsh and uncaring. And my Mum keeps talking about me, in a nice way, about getting a better job to be able to provide for myself, especially if my Mum passes away at all (she’s in her 60s and her brother recently died). I think she’s really worried about how I’d provide for myself when she is not around.
I do focus a lot on my hobbies, and that may be part of my problem! I’m good at hiding away from my issues and just immersing myself in trains, travel and history or whatever random Wiki article I’ve found.

Originally Posted by Lee S

I can fully empathise

Thanks Lee

Originally Posted by The Devil, Probably.

Feeling low, physically sick, alone, the saddest I have felt all year. Not because it's NYs but because of what's happened.

Sorry to hear this. I hope you are maybe feeling better today!

[Lee S]

Fed up. How on earth are you meant to get a GP appointment these days? Went to surgery reception in person, ''no appointments available, phone tomorrow.'' Phoned them next day, ''no appointments available, phone tomorrow.'' Phoned again, ''no appointments available, phone tomorrow.'' This angered my mother who phoned them back and went ballistic, they then gave me an evening appointment for next Friday with a locum doctor who I've never heard of and that in itself makes me anxious.

Some of these phone calls cost £3 or £4 due to being held in long queues. Trying to get help for mental health is so draining. A lot of GPs are working from home, how on earth does that work when people need examining, etc. Utter madness.

[BFG_]

^ Have you heard of this organisation Lee?

https://www.impactonteesside.com/online-referral/

I used a similar service down south called steps2wellbeing I found them quite helpful at the time when I was struggling they offered me telephone counselling. GP was OK for prescribing pills but not much else.

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by BFG_

^ Have you heard of this organisation Lee?

https://www.impactonteesside.com/online-referral/

I used a similar service down south called steps2wellbeing I found them quite helpful at the time when I was struggling they offered me telephone counselling. GP was OK for prescribing pills but not much else.

No, I hadn't. Thanks for the link, mate.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Lee S

Fed up. How on earth are you meant to get a GP appointment these days? Went to surgery reception in person, ''no appointments available, phone tomorrow.'' Phoned them next day, ''no appointments available, phone tomorrow.'' Phoned again, ''no appointments available, phone tomorrow.'' This angered my mother who phoned them back and went ballistic, they then gave me an evening appointment for next Friday with a locum doctor who I've never heard of and that in itself makes me anxious.

Some of these phone calls cost £3 or £4 due to being held in long queues. Trying to get help for mental health is so draining. A lot of GPs are working from home, how on earth does that work when people need examining, etc. Utter madness.

You'd think they'd have sorted out the appointment system after COVID. Do you have to call first thing in the morning and get in a queue?

My surgery did a telephone triage thing for a long time where you have a phonecall with a GP first and then they give you a face to face appointment if they feel you need it. But now they've gone back to mostly face to face appointments and some you can book online, which is so much better than having to phone up!

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by Dougella

Do you have to call first thing in the morning and get in a queue?

Yes, they tell you to phone at 8am but you end up stuck in a queue. There has been times when I've spent nearly an hour waiting and then there are no appointments left. I hate using the phone at the best of times. My surgery used to operate online booking but they stopped it. The system is a mess and very stressful.

[Captain Crunch]

It's almost impossible to get an appointment with my doctor. They never seem to answer the phone or it's permanently engaged. They allegedly have an online appointment booking system but every time I check it out it states "We have paused access to online queries as we have reached full safe capacity for the day. If you become more unwell please contact NHS 111". It's currently 09:00 PM on Friday 12 January and it states "Online enquiries will be available again on Monday, 15 January at 08:00 AM". If you haven't managed to get an appointment by 08:01 AM then forget it. Fortunately I'm not in need of medical assistance just now. Oh, and they won't book appointments if you physically go there.

I would change my doctor but looking on Trustpilot it seems that all the local surgeries are in the same sorry state. It's an utterly scandalous situation that was introduced during the COVID debacle (when social distancing was paramount) and not returned to the pre-COVID way of working. It feels like it's just a convenient way of reducing the number of patients they see.

[Lee S]

^ That all sounds very familiar. It's a sad state of affairs.

[Dougella]

^^ It does actually increase the number of patients they can see if they do phonecalls first because they can do more of those, but lots of surgeries are obviously just over capacity because they have more people trying to get appointments than they can even get through that way. My surgery recently took on one more GP which seems to have helped the situation a lot. ( I think there's a national shortage of GPs, which is probably why so many surgeries are having these problems.)

Lee S the phoning up at 8am and trying to get through is awful. I find phone calls difficult too. Having to get in a queue and hope you get an appointment isn't how it should work is it.

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by Dougella

Lee S the phoning up at 8am and trying to get through is awful. I find phone calls difficult too. Having to get in a queue and hope you get an appointment isn't how it should work is it.

It's awful and frustrating. Also being asked by receptionists why you want to see a doctor is embarrassing. I don't like explaining my issues to receptionists, they never used to ask.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Lee S

It's awful and frustrating. Also being asked by receptionists why you want to see a doctor is embarrassing. I don't like explaining my issues to receptionists, they never used to ask.

They say it's so that they can book you in to see "the appropriate clinician", but I'm sure they don't really need much detail. Like you say they never used to ask. If it's anything mental health related i just say mental health.

[BFG_]

^ I just tell them it's none of their business

[Dougella]

^ I'm sure it is fine to just say you'd prefer not to say, but if you like to be that blunt

[gregarious_introvert]

Originally Posted by Captain Crunch

It's almost impossible to get an appointment with my doctor. They never seem to answer the phone or it's permanently engaged. They allegedly have an online appointment booking system but every time I check it out it states "We have paused access to online queries as we have reached full safe capacity for the day. If you become more unwell please contact NHS 111". It's currently 09:00 PM on Friday 12 January and it states "Online enquiries will be available again on Monday, 15 January at 08:00 AM". If you haven't managed to get an appointment by 08:01 AM then forget it. Fortunately I'm not in need of medical assistance just now. Oh, and they won't book appointments if you physically go there.



I would change my doctor but looking on Trustpilot it seems that all the local surgeries are in the same sorry state. It's an utterly scandalous situation that was introduced during the COVID debacle (when social distancing was paramount) and not returned to the pre-COVID way of working. It feels like it's just a convenient way of reducing the number of patients they see.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having these difficulties, but it's not an unusual situation. This is one of the reasons I've not had a GP for several years.

I am happy to say that I have finally found a surgery which has an excellent online booking system, which even allows the patient to book the kind of appointment preferred (telephone appointment, in my case). I was only able to register there because last year, the surgery opened its list to out-of-area patients (I'm not in its catchment area, despite it being closer to me than two surgeries of which I do fall into the catchment area.

Some areas have now outlawed the "8am lottery" calls, which were actually introduced as a way of massaging target figures for appointments - if you don't take calls for appointments beyond that day, then statistically, you can claim that all patients were given appointments within 24 hours of asking.

Sent from my M2010J19CG using Tapatalk

[Captain Crunch]

Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert

I'm sorry to hear that you're having these difficulties, but it's not an unusual situation. This is one of the reasons I've not had a GP for several years.

I am happy to say that I have finally found a surgery which has an excellent online booking system, which even allows the patient to book the kind of appointment preferred (telephone appointment, in my case). I was only able to register there because last year, the surgery opened its list to out-of-area patients (I'm not in its catchment area, despite it being closer to me than two surgeries of which I do fall into the catchment area.

Some areas have now outlawed the "8am lottery" calls, which were actually introduced as a way of massaging target figures for appointments - if you don't take calls for appointments beyond that day, then statistically, you can claim that all patients were given appointments within 24 hours of asking.

Sent from my M2010J19CG using Tapatalk

Happy to hear you've found a surgery with a good online appointment booking system . They seem to be a rarity these days.

That's an excellent point about massaging target figures for appointments that I'd not considered. It certainly answers the question as to why appointments are so difficult to book.

[BFG_]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ I'm sure it is fine to just say you'd prefer not to say, but if you like to be that blunt

We have an understanding the receptionist hates me and I hate her.

The best moment was when I had to take a sample to reception for my partner. I literally got to hand her an envelope with shit in it.

[Dougella]

^ Oh dear! I'm sure that's one of the receptionist's least favourite parts of the job, having to take samples from people.

[Tembo]

^^ well you’ve just reminded me of when I handed in a urine sample to a receptionist - just in the glass container, not in an envelope or anything. It was still warm. What was I thinking?
That thought still suddenly enters my head when trying to get to sleep sometimes.

[Dougella]

^ But they don't tell you what to do do they! They should really give people a specific paper bag to put the sample jar in!

[Consolida]

Terrible today, absolutely going out of my mind

March 2022 was hell due to my mum dying, last year (November) was awful because I had to make the heartbreaking decision to have her poorly elderly cat put to sleep and now this year (it's still only January ffs!) and my beloved cat, my precious tortoiseshell baby who has brought me endless joy and comfort on the darkest of days, is extremely ill and her life is hanging in the balance.

We've just paid £750 in veterinary bills after she was diagnosed with bronchitis/pneumonia (antibiotics and IV fluids for dehydration, plus blood tests aren't cheap) but now she's back home and she's no better, in-fact she's gravely ill. She is barely eating (only tiny amounts that I coax her to lick off my finger) and is drinking even less water. She is literally wasting away before our eyes. All she wants is to constantly cuddle up under the bedcovers with me because, as her human mum, she looks to me for protection, comfort and to make things better right?

Our Vet also THINKS she has a polyp in her ear which could be causing the regular respiratory infections that she's been suffering with this past few years and that we've been throwing hundreds of ££££ at and getting nowhere. However, they are now saying that they don't remove polyps at their surgery and there's nothing more that they can do!!

We've been told that we will have to refer her ourselves to a state of the Art veterinary hospital for a consultation and a CT scan regarding the polyp. And this alone, will cost FOUR THOUSAND POUNDS!! And, If they then decide to operate, the final bill is estimated to be at least TEN THOUSAND POUNDS!!!! Unless you're rolling in money or have no other outlays or dependents then this is extortionate and how do people manage it?

To have to ask myself if my beloved cat's life is worth £10,000 utterly utterly sucks, especially when there's no guarantee that she will survive the procedure or the aftercare in her weak state. Also I've read on google that there's a 50/50 chance of a polyp returning.

Going to the Vets is extremely traumatic for her - the vet asked me if she was feral when I first got her, because as a feisty tortie she totally freaks when shes scared and manhandled (it took 3 attempts for the Vet to take a swab from her mouth and on the third attempt she ended up swallowed the swab!) Her fear makes her not an easy patient to treat, but when she's with me she's an adorable, gentle, loving quirky little girl who I love dearly.

I found her as a stray kitten about 11 years ago, and when I took her to be spayed the incompetent Vet botched things up and my baby subsequently had to have a kidney removed to save her life. She's been through SO much.

Oh, as an aside, the Vet also mentioned that she may need to be treated for thyroid issues in the future as she's showing very early signs of thyroid issues, and if such issues are not treated it can accelerate Kidney disease, which is not what you want when you only have the one kidney!!!

Thanks for letting me rant here, and getting things off my chest. I've got nowhere else I can post about this, and no friends at all to talk to.

I want to go to sleep, and when I wake up discover that the last few years were all a horrible dream.

[Dougella]

^ Oh Consolida I'm so sorry to hear that's all happening to your lovely cat

Would it be at all possible for you to get a second opinion at a different Vet's surgery? £10,000 does sound like a very high amount for something relatively small like a polyp in the ear (Although i know it's probably complicated to remove something in a small area like that and scans do cost a lot etc).

[Captain Crunch]

^^That's an awful situation to be in Consolida . So sorry to hear about your kittie.

[Chess&Junkfood]

I'm also sorry to hear about your cat, Consolida.