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  #91  
Old 11th April 2016, 23:45
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ some people are arseholes
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  #92  
Old 14th April 2016, 19:26
Concept Concept is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbie2013
^ some people are arseholes

Yes, some people are.
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  #93  
Old 14th April 2016, 20:32
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

@ HermannHesse,
aw I've missed your useless advice!
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  #94  
Old 14th April 2016, 21:30
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
I got told that I'm 'getting fat' today. I feel especially down about my appearance lately. It's comforting to know that most people won't vocalise their negative opinions about my appearance and when people actually do, it makes me think that what I think must be true.

I hate having these horrible thoughts about my appearance all the time. I'm not sure what to do about it.
I got called an 'old troll' today, biscuits...by one of my delightful colleagues.

I am getting old, I'm middle aged, but I've never felt attractive anyway..but it's horrible to feel judged by how you look.

I expect you look lovely, but even if you aren't conventionally good looking, which I suspect you are, you are so lovely that you could not be ugly. Not even a bit.
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  #95  
Old 14th April 2016, 22:46
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

It's getting way too warm to hide in thick clothes now. Was walking to work the other day and had my head down so low I was nearly bumping into people - and was seriously overheating. I wanted to burst into tears. I love this sort of weather outside of myself, I should be out enjoying it.

I'd give anything to 'just' have social anxiety, it'd be such a respite after all this.
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  #96  
Old 15th April 2016, 01:59
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I would offer hugs to my fellow BDDers expressing their difficulties recently, but I always find myself stricken with rigamortis during hugging, and the whole affair becomes quite embarassing.

I am the most awkward hugger most of you will ever come across, a fact a former member of this forum should attest to (but she's too nice about it).
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  #97  
Old 16th April 2016, 21:43
Xithium Xithium is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I've been struggling a lot with my feelings about my appearance lately. I finally caved in and went to get my passport photo taken, so that I can send off for a provisional license and get going with the driving lessons I've been promising to sort for years. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I stubbornly maintained a wildly optimistic hope that it wouldn't come out as bad as I'd feared. I know most people say their passport photographs are shockingly bad, but mine always make me realise that my face is quite literally very unsymmetrical. I find myself feeling more and more self-conscious of this these days, as it really seems to be becoming more noticeable (I want to believe it's in my head, but it's actually really wonky - other people obviously see me as I am, and get used to it, but to me... who tries to avoid being pictured or looking into mirrors in less than flattering lighting, it's really quite a shock to be confronted with my 'true' self).

Another thing that upset me is that the conversation topic of my bad skin came up with my boyfriend this week. The relationship's at that stage now where I can't hide the various potions and creams I have to use in order to try to improve my issues (mainly quite extensive acne scarring, which I've undergone various treatments for), so I try to just make a joke out of it. Anyway, I guess in an attempt to make me feel better about it, he brought the issue back up just before we went to sleep and cycled through all the "you're fine the way you are" prep talk. Whilst I appreciate that he attempts to make me feel better, sometimes it really has the opposite effect. For instance, in response to me saying that in the past people have tried to deny my problems entirely, which I feel is unrealistic, he said that the scarring is noticeable "but not too bad". And that he understands how I feel because he thinks he'd feel self-conscious of it too, if it were him dealing with it. When he said these things, I knew he meant to console me, but it was a real kick to the guts because now I'm just mortified and feeling more 'exposed' than I ever was before around him. I suppose I'd wanted so badly to believe the people who told me they didn't really notice anything wrong with me (my ex boyfriend, for instance), that I was living in a fantasy, in some respects, going along with the idea that perhaps people don't necessarily notice anything wrong with my face. Some kind of unhealthily fragile coping mechanism (hence why I've deliberately not questioned him as to his opinion on my skin - ignorance is bliss, type deal, I figured). But his words kind of shattered that and I feel very inhibited now. The reality, my rational mind tells me, must be somewhere in between... people probably do notice my scarring, but acknowledge it in a much less powerful way than I do. Emotionally, though, my mind tells me that's not good enough. I don't want it acknowledged at all; which of course, is not realistic. I just want to feel 'free' of self-conscious thoughts about my own body (bar the usual little things I'm guessing most people experience) and not let them hinder me in this relationship. But it's proving so difficult.

Does anyone else find themselves feeling ever more confused, because of people's differing comments to them? My ego is so fragile that I desperately want to believe the words that make me feel better, though deep down I feel as though they're just lies. On the other hand, if someone (like my boyfriend) seems to offer a more brutally honest opinion, I feel resentful toward them for attacking my clearly fictitious illusion of my problems being invisible to anyone but me. It's no-one's fault, I know, as put in their position I'd want to be honest yet perhaps could see myself telling white lies in order not to hurt somebody's feelings.



Basically, to be able to have photographs taken of me, and to feel comfortable with that and with what I see and likewise, with what I see in the mirror, just feels like a million miles away... yet seems like such a normal thing to most other people. And this relationship has been amazingly fulfilling so far. It almost seems too good to be true, because there's this mountain of wacky issues inside/(outside?) of me.
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  #98  
Old 17th April 2016, 04:08
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^^^ Thanks Ichigo :3


^^ Maybe just a mutually awkward but earnest handshake then?
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  #99  
Old 18th April 2016, 21:19
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Handshakes are always weird, because you don't know how hard to shake or grip.
Some people grip your hand like they're trying to detach it, others let their hand slip from yours like one of the ghostly twins from the Matrix.
Plus I have small hands.

Together this means, I introduce myself at job interviews and immediately have an inner crisis that I won't be hired because I have small hands and a shake like a dying cretin. Probably something like the hunchback creature from 300.
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  #100  
Old 19th April 2016, 13:08
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I've been counting the number of hairs I encounter on my hands during my shower, on my towel after drying my hair, on the shelf below the mirror after I've styled my hair and any other instance I happen to notice one. Today's count thus far: 26. I'd just about got to a point where I wasn't quite happy with my appearance but was mostly accepting of it (and that's quite the achievement for me), but the prospect of balding before thirty is really going to throw that one off. I wish I could be dignified and stoical about it but OMG LIFE IS SO UNFAIRRRRRRRRRRRR, TAKE WHAT YOU WANT BUT LEAVE MY HAIR. Ahem.
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  #101  
Old 19th April 2016, 22:20
Tiger_Lily Tiger_Lily is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

According to good ol' Google (and my hairdresser) you lose on average 50 to 100 head hairs per day. We have 100,000 head hairs apparently, so I'm sure you're not going bald
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  #102  
Old 19th April 2016, 22:26
G-1 G-1 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by abc
Anyone else been diagnosed with this?

I was diagnosed with it last year, but have been experiencing symptoms since my late teens. In fact I would say that most, if not all, the anxiety I experience in social situations is due to the way I perceive how I look.

Any ideas on treatments etc? Personally although I found cbt immensely helpful in overcoming my social anxiety, I've found the techniques pretty usless when trying to tackle BDD-related thoughts.
CBT again. The treatment model basically involves learning to detach from thoughts about your appearance, then confronting the situations you'd avoid without using any safety behaviours/camouflage and continuing to switch off from thoughts and focus on what you're supposed to be doing. Much easier said than done, but it really helped me, my life has changed completely so if you can get a therapist who knows how to treat BDD (which is a challenge in itself) I'd say give it a go. Not sure which part of the country you live in, but if you want to discuss how to find a therapist send me a pm.
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  #103  
Old 19th April 2016, 22:34
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I don't know if this website is any good.

It's got about support groups and types of treatment:

BDD Foundation

Body charity

I have no experience of using these places, so don't blame me if they're rubbish. :D
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  #104  
Old 19th April 2016, 22:35
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

So they diagnosed you with BDD and left you to it? That's bad.
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  #105  
Old 19th April 2016, 22:52
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloSunshine
According to good ol' Google (and my hairdresser) you lose on average 50 to 100 head hairs per day. We have 100,000 head hairs apparently, so I'm sure you're not going bald
Cheers Sunshine - I've read that before too. I do have quite a bit of recession on my right temple also (though it isn't that visible without my hair scraped back), which is why I've started paying way too much attention to my hair's activity. It could stop, though at the moment I'm still fairly certain I'm shedding it beyond the norm. Time will tell. Either way, it'll be a weight off my head.
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  #106  
Old 19th April 2016, 22:59
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Struggling today with ridiculous thoughts. I've spent an abnormal amount of time looking in the mirror and looking up nose job before and afters. Ugh. **** off BDD.
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  #107  
Old 19th April 2016, 23:42
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My old mans side all lose their hair young and have big brows, but my mother has really thick hair and a short brow, and I'm sort of stuck in the middle. lol

I've never been able to do anything with mine because it's alway's been too thin at the front and round my temples.

I certainly wouldn't worry about losing your hair Appear.

You'd look good with it short and some facial stubble to go with it.
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  #108  
Old 20th April 2016, 11:35
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ Cheers, sir.

It's a mixed bag on both my parents' sides - in both there's one bald brother and one fully-haired one, so no obvious indication on how mine might progress. I've spied your clippered locks though, and it does suit you well, so maybe there's some hope for me having it shorter too.
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  #109  
Old 23rd April 2016, 00:19
G-1 G-1 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by abc
I question if I actually have BDD. I've already accepted that I'm an ugly bastard and nothings going to change that.
That's very common with the condition.... most people in the world have rose tinted glasses apparently, but those with BDD have grey tinted ones it seems. The treatment doesn't focus on making you see yourself differently though, just on helping you to disengage from the thoughts and behaviours related to your appearance (which generally tend to make us feel pretty awful) and therefore reduce your preoccupation with it and improve your ability to engage with life. Just typing this has made me remember how bad BDD feels.... it really, really sucks. From what I've been hearing recently, mental health services in Wales should be on the up soon.... bad that where you live should dictate the quality of treatment you get.
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  #110  
Old 24th April 2016, 00:12
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I agree very much with that first paragraph. It doesn't help that most of the imagery associated with BDD (ie the stuff you see in the magazines) is a young thin attractive white girl in her underwear looking sadly at a reflection of herself where she...is half a stone heavier.
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  #111  
Old 24th April 2016, 01:35
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

What is BDD?

Seeing Jabba the Hut when you look like Luke Skywalker, or obsessing over features etc that stand out a mile, stand out a bit, or are actually perfectly fine, or in fact look bloody good?

Most people think it's looking like a 10 but seeing a 1 in the mirror because you're bonkers.

All I know is that it annoys me.

You can see in the video I posted recently that I have a big whacking gap in my teeth.

This is real, but I got over the "What can fill Cairns gap, a Boost, a boost, a Cadburys boost", "Gappy Bastard/C***" jokes etc years ago.

I actually think my teeth are quite good, apart from the gap now.

I spent years covering my mouth etc and was obsessed over them, so is that BDD?

A gap like mine is rare, and not bloody lucky either.

It's something that wasn't in my head, is real, but I spent far too much time giving a shit about.

Sometimes I look at myself and think I look quite good.

Other times I think I look weird, like when I wet shave and cut my hair close to the bone.

I've been called an "Ugly Bastard" in the past.

I had this one girl who was very attractive, and I fancied her big time.

100% she fancied me as I spent the night with her, slept with her but didn't sleep with her because of insecurities etc.

100% I could have shagged her, and some other attrsctive women I avoided when younger, but when her BF got out of prison he said to her "What did you see in him, he looks like a rat"

So it's hard to find out wtf I look like.

I know everyone has different opinions and tastes, but it's still hard to get your head around when you've been called and ugly rat bastard etc, but had the chance to shag women that are definitely attractive.

So, feck knows.
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  #112  
Old 24th April 2016, 18:33
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I feel much the same. I feel bad about my appearance mainly because I actually am quite funny looking (to put it mildly), rather than that 'imagined ugliness', so I'm not convinced BDD is to blame. I don't know though, maybe it applies even if you aren't conventionally good looking? Obsessing over your appearance, finding faults in every little detail, and expecting everyone to see them and judge you for it; no matter how you actually look, that isn't healthy thinking.

I suppose it's like, if someone has plenty of legitimate reasons to be unhappy, they can still be suffering from clinical depression. The severity of what they feel might be as much to do with an illness than a reasonable reaction to life events.
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  #113  
Old 11th May 2016, 20:37
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Every time I try to fix anything I just make it worse. This is why I never bother.

Just can't cope with this. I wish I just had a missing arm or something, I could get along so easily like that. How sick is it that the one thing that could help/promised to help makes things worse?
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  #114  
Old 11th May 2016, 23:41
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My obsession has moved away from my eyes and has found a new target: my back. I'm currently obsessed with how my back looks. At least it's not something I can look at without a mirror.

I realise how ridiculous this sounds and I wish I were just being silly.

-----

^
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  #115  
Old 12th May 2016, 14:34
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think roids be the answer for me. Roids and chicken.
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  #116  
Old 12th May 2016, 20:48
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Could do with some roids too, throw in some HGH and mother feckin, finger lickin fried chicken as well.
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  #117  
Old 12th May 2016, 22:43
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

You can even get roids that don't give you that roider pot-belly these days. What a time to be alive.

You still get roider face though, although that gets mistaken for a broad jawline so women probs be gushin'.
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  #118  
Old 12th May 2016, 23:03
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ What's roider face?
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  #119  
Old 12th May 2016, 23:24
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think it's HGH that change bone structure, not roids.

TRT should be subscribed more than it is, but it's cheaper to dish out anti d's instead that just mess you up and cause test lowering symptoms, without actually lower your levels.

I'd definitely go private, get all the blood work done and get a prescription if I could afford to.
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  #120  
Old 12th May 2016, 23:35
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Roider face/moon face

I take a corticosteroid for me hayfever. I don't take enough of a dose to notice any change, but i have heard of the effect.
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