An anatomy of FEAR

[MrMr]

I think we all know that our social fears are not rational, so what exactly is going on? What are the mechanics of this in body and mind, as it were?

It seems to me that the conscious mind, that part of your mind that is the voice in your head, that seemingly IS you, and is used for analysis and daily conscious thinking…that part is fully capable of saying “you’re being silly, it’s no big deal, there is nothing to fear”.

It might spend time saying unproductive things too, but at least it’s capable of thinking clearly when you want to…it seems like in that arena alone, we could affect change therefore.

Yet, when an opportunity to tackle it comes along, like a Meet via SAUK, or whatever it may be, you get hit with an emotion: FEAR.

Something is amiss here in the wiring, something can’t be trusted, the logical mind saying one thing, yet the body concluding another...the link is not logical, one should not lead to the other.

I know meeting people is going to be good and beneficial for me, therefore it should be something I move towards…but instead, my body gives me fear, and quick as a flash, I avoid the fearful stimulus without even contemplating it, to the point that slowing down the process and being able to intervene at any stage, as CBT would suggest, seems impossible. Maybe I’m wrong about this, maybe I can intervene and steer my conscious thoughts, but I have not been able to as yet.

The conscious mind is apparently the tip of the iceberg, apparently the vast majority of our brain capacity is the sub-conscious mind, a seemingly vast wellspring of resources that run the autopilot systems of your body. There are also emotions and the nervous system to consider.

So to my point, or even my question: if it is the subconscious mind is branding beneficial events as dangerous, and giving us inappropriate emotions before we know what's hit us - how on earth do we affect that habitual pattern when all we have to work with is on the conscious level?

[slrrrrp]

Originally Posted by Mr31

So to my point, or even my question: if it is the subconscious mind is branding beneficial events as dangerous, and giving us inappropriate emotions before we know what's hit us - how on earth do we affect that habitual pattern when all we have to work with is on the conscious level?

My technique boils down to "oh, sod it! I'll just do this terrifying thing, and suffer maybe" - not that I've found the answer or anything, just helps sometimes to cut through the crap that stops me doing things.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Mr31

So to my point, or even my question: if it is the subconscious mind is branding beneficial events as dangerous, and giving us inappropriate emotions before we know what's hit us - how on earth do we affect that habitual pattern when all we have to work with is on the conscious level?

That's basically what CBT is designed to tackle. Feel > Behaviour > Thoughts back to Feel

The idea is to interrupt this process at any point we can. If our normal behaviour is to run off when we feel afraid then this time we don't run off. If we tend to consciously think 'I'm so scared, I'm going to have a panic attack any minute!' then you much counter these thoughts. Then one you can't directly effect is feelings. But by changing the other two you can affect your feelings.

Also as you rightly say you can't alter your subconscious directly however if you change your behaviours and conscious thoughts, over time your subconscious thoughts will change too.

And recognising early on when we are starting to feel a certain way will let us head off the behaviours and thoughts which they lead too more effectively.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by halfemptyglass

I have also found CBT hugely useful - plucking things out of my subconscious and making them conscious so I can work on them.

It may feel like it just goes event --> feeling, but in between there is event --> focus --> thought --> feeling (and --> behaviour). The focus and thought are subconscious and super quick, but you can pick them apart using various CBT techniques, like thought diaries.

I almost feel like there is too much to answer this question with. But exposure and CBT work by making your subconscious conscious, until the behaviours and thoughts you want have replaced the ones you don't want.

Interesting. Could you explain the focus bit? I realise that the model changes and evolves like most theories so I'm always interested in hearing about developments. One I heard of that really struck home with me includes self-consciousness but I couldn't find any good material on it

[Candyman]

Originally Posted by Mr31

So to my point, or even my question: if it is the subconscious mind is branding beneficial events as dangerous, and giving us inappropriate emotions before we know what's hit us - how on earth do we affect that habitual pattern when all we have to work with is on the conscious level?

One day I was standing in line at the pizza shop ready to order something. Everything I wanted to say or do arose fear in me. From standing in the line to speaking up and telling the man behind the counter what I wanted to order. It all arose fear.

That day I made a huge insight. I realized that fear was an automatic response to everything for me. It just arose automatically. For some reason this was a big insight and from that day on I stopped experiencing so much fear. I just realized it was nothing more than an automatic reaction to everything and all I needed to do was be aware of it.

People associate themselves with the fear. They think they are the fear. They think that they're a loser because they're afraid, but I saw the fear arise me in a very detached sort of way. I just noticed it arose on its own and, in a sense, didn't belong to me.

Anyway, I'm a strong advocate of mindful awareness, but it takes time to develop and use properly. It can result in these sort of insights, which can really help you along the path of recovery.

I will say this...you're on the right path. Some will say don't bother trying to understand fear...it'll make your head hurt. I'd say the exact opposite. The only way to calm yourself from fear is to fully understand it.

[slrrrrp]

Originally Posted by halfemptyglass

I find this as well. The more I understand about myself and SA, the more I can overcome. Plus I just find it fascinating.

Yes, but while I think that it can be useful to have a thorough understanding of yourself, fear and SA (and I'm interested in anatomies of these things - post more on the subjects, Mr31 and anyone else), it's not necessary to do that before you face what you fear - often it's best just to say to yourself "sod it! I'll do it" however much you understand about yourself etc.

So, I'm sympathetic to both those who want to analyse these things and those who don't.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by halfemptyglass

It's how my support group leader in Bristol interpreted SA, adding to the CBT model. The idea was that in order to think about something, you have to focus on it. Things happen around us all the time, but if we don't pay attention to them, they don't really enter our thoughts.

I guess that's pretty much the same thing as self-consciousness, meaning your focus is on yourself, but the model I saw had a different form with feeling, thought, behaviour in a triangle and self-consciousness in the middle.

[Candyman]

Originally Posted by slrrrrp

Yes, but while I think that it can be useful to have a thorough understanding of yourself, fear and SA (and I'm interested in anatomies of these things - post more on the subjects, Mr31 and anyone else), it's not necessary to do that before you face what you fear - often it's best just to say to yourself "sod it! I'll do it" however much you understand about yourself etc.

So, I'm sympathetic to both those who want to analyse these things and those who don't.

No, it's definitely not necessary to have a complete understanding of fear before facing it. If anything, waiting to get a complete understand of fear before facing it is counterproductive.

Do stuff you're afraid, but just reflect on it later. For instance, you might do something you're afraid of like talk to a stranger and get anxious, but eventually you'll realize it's not a big deal and that the fear you experience isn't going to kill you. That's the type of insights you gain through time and help you understand fear better. Actually, you have to face fear to understand it. The two go hand in hand. You can't sit in your room reading books about fear...that will get you nowhere. Get out there, experience the fear, understand it and grow!

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Candyman

No, it's definitely not necessary to have a complete understanding of fear before facing it. If anything, waiting to get a complete understand of fear before facing it is counterproductive.

Do stuff you're afraid, but just reflect on it later. For instance, you might do something you're afraid of like talk to a stranger and get anxious, but eventually you'll realize it's not a big deal and that the fear you experience isn't going to kill you. That's the type of insights you gain through time and help you understand fear better. Actually, you have to face fear to understand it. The two go hand in hand. You can't sit in your room reading books about fear...that will get you nowhere. Get out there, experience the fear, understand it and grow!

Great post Talking about stuff will only get you so far. In the end you have to take the plunge and just do it.