As a kid were you "punished" for your anxiety ?

[Mr Ploppy]

I had terrible trouble with anxiety & depression, especially at secondary school, so much so I stopped going.
The authorities knew about my troubles, their solution to try and put me in a residential assessment centre, the same place they were putting criminal and violent kids. Their mindset was this would "toughen me up", they even said that. It shows how primitive their understanding was.
Thankfully my mum & dad fought to keep me out, but it was very close.

Throughout my school days I felt like I was being punished like this, it was only the worst of a long list. I even considered suing the education and social services for ignoring and aggravating my condition through their heavy handed actions, don't know how feasible that would have been.

My counsellor has said I need to put these thoughts and bitterness behind me, I really don't know I can do that, it's a big part of my life.

Did you feel you were being punished for being different ?

[Within Reason]

I was told off for being shy/not saying anything e.g greeting people.

[KarateGirl]

I feel quite bitter too about a lot of things that happened to me during my childhood. All through school I was told off by stupid teachers who thought by humiliating me in front of everyone I would somehow get more confidence. Even my parents used to get annoyed at me when I didn't greet or thank people because I was too shy. I just wish there was more awareness about SA, then I think things could have been a lot different.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I'd say yes, I was punished for my anxiety, but others would have seen it differently. My problems were never recognised, neither by my family, my then GP, my school, as well as a psychiatrist I went to. At school I was punished for my anxiety driven avoidance. I was then punished at home for my problems with school. I was hospitalised in the end but my avoidance was so extreme that I would not stay, and as they wouldn't section me I walked. I was then in trouble with my parents over that too. Much of the trouble I got into was due to anxiety and avoidance. So as people didn't have a clue what was wrong with me, I'd be punished for things whilst the root cause went unchecked.

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy

My counsellor has said I need to put these thoughts and bitterness behind me, I really don't know I can do that, it's a big part of my life.

I'm not really bitter any more. I can acknowledge what happened, and I wish it had been different, but back then (70's) there was only ignorance. People simply didn't understand my problems. I didn't understand my problems. That was the way it was, although even now I'm still surprised at the psychiatrist who simply told me ''well we all feel like that, don't we?''

Bitterness, though. What purpose does it serve us? Is it useful? Does it help us? To me it seems that holding on to it is more damaging than letting it go.

[stewie-keen]

As a child i was always told i was stupid, dumb or useless which didnt help me much. I felt like an alien around others which made me more withdrawn an negative. No wonder my SA got worse.

[Geminus]

Not for SA but I was punished for being an unruly child who was off the rails, instead of them realising that I actually suffered from various chemical imbalances.

[Matt101]

I was always getting told off, for not saying anything people thought I was doing on purpose I was called rude ignorant and all the rest of it, I would never put my hand up in class if I was stuck either so I'd sit there doing nothing all lesson rather than ask the teacher for help, I wouldn't get up and walk across the room to get a rubber or whatever. So I got into a bit of trouble for that. Being yelled at only exacerbated things.

[jayell_safc]

I was constantly told off by my parents for not saying hello to people.

I was in trouble at school from time to time if I wouldn't speak to a teacher. When I was in year 3, we had a supply teacher, and I'll never forget her humiliating me because I just couldn't bring myself to say my name. I had to go sit in the back of the room, because that's where 'naughty girls must sit.' I had to sit back there on my own for days.

My problems weren't recognised until I was out of school; I think that's true of loads of people here.

Now I get called rude, cold and/or unfriendly because I don't (or can't, I suppose) chat to people I don't know.

Sometimes I think I still am being punished for my anxiety. I have no friends, no partner and no hope of friends or a partner. I can barely get through a department meeting.

It's so hard to explain to someone that I'm actually a very nice lady-- I just can't talk to you.

[Rubik]

My parents told me I was using it as an excuse so not to bother to talk to people or be sociable. From other family members I've been called weird, rude, anti-social or attention seeking. Naturally I had a happy childhood. I was lucky in other senses in that most of my teachers sympathised with me.

[cementedshoes]

Yes. By a parent mostly. Especially when I was a teenager and illness became worse, I was very alone in trying to cope. I've talked that to death in therapy and I understand the whys and such, used to be massively angry about it, now I find it sad more than anything. The anger I do have I've had to learn to deal with in a more constructive way because I'm living back at home now, memories very vivid at times and it's hard to jolt myself back into the present but that's the way of things. It was all anger and ignorance then, nightmare of a time.

[Mr Ploppy]

Originally Posted by Cynic

Interesting. Recently, in issue 3 of a Glasgow crime magazine there was a piece written by someone who ended up in various List-D schools because he kept on doggin school after facing repeated humiliation from pupils and teachers alike. After the mandatory abuse he received, he ended up on the kit and in and oot of the big hoose. A sad story but one I can relate to to some extent. Ye might still be able to get issue 3 in some of the shops (they're selling 4 now, but some places might still have 3) and they sell it online too.


Been there mate. They refused to diagnose me with Aspergers and a child psychiatrist, after my folks complained about abuse I was getting in the List-G school told them that the sooner they gave up on their disturbed child (me) the better.


I just breathed a sigh of relief when I read that!


Same here - school and adulthood too, for that matter.


I get told the same shit.


Often still do.

That's one helluva post as I can relate to a lot of what you wrote there.

Thanks C, i'm sorry you had to face what I escaped

[catlover]

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy

I had terrible trouble with anxiety & depression, especially at secondary school, so much so I stopped going.
The authorities knew about my troubles, their solution to try and put me in a residential assessment centre, the same place they were putting criminal and violent kids. Their mindset was this would "toughen me up", they even said that. It shows how primitive their understanding was.
Thankfully my mum & dad fought to keep me out, but it was very close.

Throughout my school days I felt like I was being punished like this, it was only the worst of a long list. I even considered suing the education and social services for ignoring and aggravating my condition through their heavy handed actions, don't know how feasible that would have been.

My counsellor has said I need to put these thoughts and bitterness behind me, I really don't know I can do that, it's a big part of my life.

Did you feel you were being punished for being different ?

Sorry to hear of your difficulties. May I ask: Did your secondary school have a psychologist on staff and if so did he/she recognize and/or acknowledge your mental health issues? Or was it just some dumb principal who decided to treat you like a criminal?

Have things gotten better for you since you left school? (I hope so.)

[Mr Ploppy]

Originally Posted by catlover

Sorry to hear of your difficulties. May I ask: Did your secondary school have a psychologist on staff and if so did he/she recognize and/or acknowledge your mental health issues? Or was it just some dumb principal who decided to treat you like a criminal?

Have things gotten better for you since you left school? (I hope so.)

It was a visiting psychologist, but he was around a lot. Useless prick.
Just before my 16th birthday they used the children panel (a very bias system where the child isn't even allowed legal council) to make an order that I would be supervised until my 18th birthday. After 16 I didn't have to go to school of course but we had visits from social work and the threat of being placed in the assessment centre hung over me for two more years. Only when I was 18 I was free from them, but the damage was long done. I was a mess and a virtual recluse, the world was a place full of people judging and punishing me, what other evidence did I have that it wasn't ? Now almost 40 i'm still a mess. Suspicious of people and their motives, especially social services, unfortunately in my work i come into contact with them all the time. Still a bunch of idiots, it's a struggle to find one who isn't as thick as pig shit.

[Mr Ploppy]

Originally Posted by Cynic

How come?? After you're 16, and you no longer have to go to school, how could they still justify sending you to the assessment centre???

If the order is made before the 16th birthday then they have the same control until 18.

An example of the fucked up panel system which is lauded by the sycophantic and uninformed worldwide.

[Geminus]

Originally Posted by Cynic

After my experiences of approved school, I went off the rails. I was expelled from 2 'special schools' after a series of suspensions (8 in one and 4 in the other. By this point I was an almost full time truant which led to my inevitable exclusion).

Do you fell that if there was an intervention service to provide mediation, support and links to necessary service providers before the critical fragmentation between yourself and your family/ social environment, that worked with your family members and teachers as much as it worked with you, in reach of solutions and coping mechanisms, things would have been salvagable before they fell apart, for everyone involved?

[catlover]

Originally Posted by Cynic

Nah, after approved school, it was becoming clear to me that I was a write-off, and didn't matter to anyone. Subsequent life events from then (late 80's) to the present have only reinforced that. I'm one of these fukups of nature that the authorities would rather brush under the carpet and pretend I didn't exist. TBH I'm living proof that the Nazis didn't get it completely wrong and that society would certainly be no worse off if some of us were eliminated from the gene pool.

No no, society would be worse off without people such as yourself.

Do you really think society would be better off if it were filled with nothing but conformist boot-licking sycophants?

[harry_j_83]

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy

I had terrible trouble with anxiety & depression, especially at secondary school, so much so I stopped going.
The authorities knew about my troubles, their solution to try and put me in a residential assessment centre, the same place they were putting criminal and violent kids. Their mindset was this would "toughen me up", they even said that. It shows how primitive their understanding was.
Thankfully my mum & dad fought to keep me out, but it was very close.

Throughout my school days I felt like I was being punished like this, it was only the worst of a long list. I even considered suing the education and social services for ignoring and aggravating my condition through their heavy handed actions, don't know how feasible that would have been.

My counsellor has said I need to put these thoughts and bitterness behind me, I really don't know I can do that, it's a big part of my life.

Did you feel you were being punished for being different ?

sorry you had to go through that crap. to think we put a man on the moon and we still have these barbaric mindsets of how to "cure" people of their problems. I think people have a phobia of differences, yes!

i can even think of peers who have problems like anxiety or learning difficulties themselves but try and suppress deny themselves as they are aware of the stigma of individuality (so to speak).

[harry_j_83]

Originally Posted by jayell_safc

I was constantly told off by my parents for not saying hello to people.

I was in trouble at school from time to time if I wouldn't speak to a teacher. When I was in year 3, we had a supply teacher, and I'll never forget her humiliating me because I just couldn't bring myself to say my name. I had to go sit in the back of the room, because that's where 'naughty girls must sit.' I had to sit back there on my own for days.

My problems weren't recognised until I was out of school; I think that's true of loads of people here.

Now I get called rude, cold and/or unfriendly because I don't (or can't, I suppose) chat to people I don't know.

Sometimes I think I still am being punished for my anxiety. I have no friends, no partner and no hope of friends or a partner. I can barely get through a department meeting.

It's so hard to explain to someone that I'm actually a very nice lady-- I just can't talk to you.

i'd say don't be a nice lady then! being nice is only worth it if people will give you the same respect. keep fighting. i'd be happy to pm if you want