Does any feel anxious even on this site?

Pole · #1 28th July 2011, 20:42

...Or is it just me?

Ive been using this site for a week or so now, (even though i joined up a year ago), and i must admit at times i feel some similar symtoms of SA as if i was in an awkward social situation.. such as 'I wonder what people think of my posts', or 'I bet everyone on here know each other already and your the odd one out' and even when reading other posts and replies I feel bad that my SA is worse than certain people or how can certain people so confident? The same questions and thoughts i had when at a party or group interview.. Is this normal?

Detox · #2 28th July 2011, 20:52

Hi Pole,

I think its normal to feel that way. I did more so when I first joined the site, but still do now. Many posts I just delete because I feel they are daft or someone will quote me and kick off on something I have said, and I know a few others do this also.
As for people knowing each other, you do tend to notice certain users replying to each other quite a lot and feel the odd one out when you just seem to get ignored. But its not meant in a nasty way, I think many people here don't reply unless they have something new or helpful to add which hasn't already been said.
It can get frustrating but I sometimes also have to remind myself that I'm not the only socially awkward person on this site.

STRING3R · #3 28th July 2011, 21:01

All the time my friend. Every time I post I get the initial feeling that I will be upsetting or inconveniencing someone, when in reality it might be the complete opposite! :s

Caribou · #4 28th July 2011, 21:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pole

.and even when reading other posts and replies I feel bad that my SA is worse than certain people or how can certain people so confident?

One of the worst things you can do is to compare yourself with other SA people - or indeed people in general. It's something I catch myself doing far too often and it makes me feel terrible. Everyone is different and SA affects people in different ways. There are people on here who can do things I can't do, and there are things I can do that others on here can't. No one is judging your posts or thinking you're weird, so don't worry

Sea · #5 28th July 2011, 22:26

I'd say its very understandable to be anxious about using a forum if you have SA. Part of SA (the major part for some of us) is a fear of being judged negatively by others, and of course posting on a forum leaves you very exposed to such judgements.
For the same reason though, I see posting here as quite a useful exercise in challenging my anxieties. It's taken time, but I am now a lot more comfortable now about posting here, and a lot less worried about disagreeing with people or having them disagree with me. Its useful practice for the real world!

Asymmetric Being · #6 28th July 2011, 22:37

Yes, I feel anxious about my posts all the time (this one included lol). I worry about how I come across all the time. If anything I find it easier these days to talk face to face because you can see people's reactions to you straight away. It's only through posting on here that I got to that point so worth fighting it ;-)

sjsuk · #7 28th July 2011, 22:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pole

...Or is it just me?

Ive been using this site for a week or so now, (even though i joined up a year ago), and i must admit at times i feel some similar symtoms of SA as if i was in an awkward social situation.. such as 'I wonder what people think of my posts', or 'I bet everyone on here know each other already and your the odd one out' and even when reading other posts and replies I feel bad that my SA is worse than certain people or how can certain people so confident? The same questions and thoughts i had when at a party or group interview.. Is this normal?

No, it's not just you

Between The Bars · #8 28th July 2011, 23:17

I think im a pest sometimes

but this site can certainly dig me out of a

of depression!

Olly. · #9 29th July 2011, 00:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pole

...Or is it just me?

Ive been using this site for a week or so now, (even though i joined up a year ago), and i must admit at times i feel some similar symtoms of SA as if i was in an awkward social situation.. such as 'I wonder what people think of my posts', or 'I bet everyone on here know each other already and your the odd one out' and even when reading other posts and replies I feel bad that my SA is worse than certain people or how can certain people so confident? The same questions and thoughts i had when at a party or group interview.. Is this normal?

Yeah, my SA extends to this forum (and using any forum or social network) as well, its a bit depressing when even on an SA forum you probably won't fit in. Obviously I'm not as bad and I'll express myself more on a forum but I still worry whenever someone quotes me or on another forum, even though its just the internet I actually can get offended whenever someone disagrees with me or insults me like I'd be in the real world, like just last week I got a personal insult with some guy implying that I was stupid because of the uni I went to and for some reason I couldn't get over it for days even though it was just some randomer on an internet forum. Just wish I didn't worry so much about the tiniest of things

SashaShy · #10 29th July 2011, 01:30

I definitely feel anxious posting here too. Sometimes I feel like I'm the odd one out too, also that I'm intruding and need to stop posting for a while.

ryanharris · #11 29th July 2011, 07:14

same here, it has got better for me though. it helps if you can find someone on your wavelength to post to. i still go over and over my posts in my head picking flaws in them, hope i cant find any in this one

HardRockGlamour · #12 29th July 2011, 16:37

A lot of people here feel that way!

I do on and off. Especially if I've taken some time away from the forum, which I'm doing quite a bit of right now. It feels strange coming back... Nerve-wracking. Sometimes I feel like an outsider for various reasons... Although I'm probably what you'd call a 'regular', I'm not super bubbly and chatty. I'm not really a huge personality. Also I don't go to meets. A lot of members do know eachother and are friends because of meets. And sometimes I feel like my SA is 'too bad' for this forum!

like I would be better suited at a hermit's forum.

But.... everyone is welcome here. People here are at different stages of SA, and many have other disorders, too, like BDD, GAD, etc etc. Everyone here is shy. Many here are lonely and would like someone to talk to. We can relate to eachother... empathise. We have many different characters. When I first joined, I felt SO different to everybody else.... I even made a blog entry about what a terrible misfit I was! But I got used to the forums, I talked to some members... After a while you see familiar names, and after a while of posting it gets easier. I still worry about how people may read my posts, how I come across, too this or too that, but mostly, it doesn't stop me any more. I just say what I feel now, **** it.

Toxic · #13 29th July 2011, 16:50

once you get incredibly drunk and make a post that you really shouldnt have

..proper posting is a walk in the park, ive made a few really stupid posts over the past week from being out drinking nearly every night (which is really not me..my IBS is kicking off big time..)

but yeah, people have seen some crap i really regret posting and later on delete, im sort of past caring about my normal/proper posting now take it or leave it!

HardRockGlamour · #14 29th July 2011, 17:02

^I've posted some really dumbass things... I still cringe at the memory of some of my more gobby submissions. And an SA confession or two (the whole 'too bad for this site' thing) .... but I always hear other members saying they're 'embarrassed' because of a post they 'made a fool of themselves on'... So I guess, everybody does! Nobody cares.

Everybody should make a tit of themselves here at least once

.

I hope you feel at home here soon, Pole. (And other newbies.)

peterjohn · #15 30th July 2011, 14:18

I think we all feel the same......in the past I've put up some over positive posts and then when I fell apart thought what a prat for even daring to try and even worse posting about it.
Currently I'm having a good time and I'd like to offer the thought that it's always worth trying to be as positive as possible. If you're in a kind of mire then try to think of doing something, anything more than you have to do. It's hard but the only way forward is to do something.
Everyone, not just us on this site, suffers from degrees of social anxiety and I suspect that many people put on a front to hide what they are really feeling. My feeling is that we are sometimes not as different as we feel we are.
I'm meandering. Perhaps one of the things that's helping me is to worry less about what people think of me. If I give myself license to be me that's what I will become. Try to be kind, firstly to yourself and to others.
With best wishes

Peter