After work tension

[schneebeli]

Does anyone else find they take literally hours to relax after work? I'm totally wound up like a clock spring when I get home -- hunched aching shoulders, headache, face ache from forced laughing and anxiety grimace, and a troubled mind full of stress. It takes about 3 hours for the physical effects to wear off and another hour after that to mentally relax. That's not normal, is it.

[Drimma]

no its doesnt sound like it should take that long ...

someone or something particular stressing you out more than usual lately?

sounds like your constant;y hyper-conscious/anxious at work...
are you monitored constantly - have to meet quotas and such

i get stressed with workin with a team leader who we've had a couple of bust up already thas stress is eatin at me and i dont feel like i could stay in tha job if that and oother things they do wld cause such stress

that much stress is not worth it - surely you're not happy then at your work place
signs to either confront ppl/situations or leave maybe -

[catlover]

I'm going through exactly the same thing at my job. They've adopted a new way of organizing the work that leads to a lot more confrontation with co-workers. And every day we have to gather together in a room and report our status; it's definitely a "what have you done for me lately" atmosphere.

I didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep last night. Thank God it's the weekend.

[Invictag]

I feel exactly the same. My company has recently merged with 2 others and now we are constantly monitored by our manager who has nothing else to do with his time. Every month we have a meeting where all our performance figures are shown and mine, because of the nature of the work I do, are usually amongst the worst making me feel really bad in front of the team. I feel like Winston Smith, always being watched by Big Brother.

[Phool]

I've been like this for years. I get home between 7 and 8. By the time I've washed and eaten I am ready for bed but I am still tense and usually thinking about that days work or the next day/weeks work. Like I just got up and the first thing I thought about was a meeting I have on Monday.

I happen to work in a environment that is prone for this. But had this conversation with my manager, where I asked if he'd seen the papers on Sunday and he said "No I don't think about work on a Sunday". I really wish I had that ability to just switch off.

I think the physical thing of sitting behind a screen all day also makes me tired and tense. Have quite severe neck aches and migraines regularly.

Then there is the trauma of social interaction, working in open plan there is nowhere to hide if you're feeling crap. Take yesterday, a colleague and I were going to go for lunch as we haven't done in ages and somehow the rest of the team got hold of it and it turned out to be ten of us! As it happens it turned out ok as I used safety behaviours like ordering food to regain some control and sat in a corner with other vegetarians so could discuss veggie food. And it was quite fun.

This was followed by my monthly job chat with my manager where I had listed "achieved" against all my objectives but my manager felt two of them were an "exceeded". And he and another manager helped me with a job application I've been doing. So went home actually feeling very good yesterday. But there days are rare and I wish I could have more of these and less of the other.

[Phool]

Originally Posted by catlover

I'm going through exactly the same thing at my job. They've adopted a new way of organizing the work that leads to a lot more confrontation with co-workers. And every day we have to gather together in a room and report our status; it's definitely a "what have you done for me lately" atmosphere.

I didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep last night. Thank God it's the weekend.

Originally Posted by Invictag

I feel exactly the same. My company has recently merged with 2 others and now we are constantly monitored by our manager who has nothing else to do with his time. Every month we have a meeting where all our performance figures are shown and mine, because of the nature of the work I do, are usually amongst the worst making me feel really bad in front of the team. I feel like Winston Smith, always being watched by Big Brother.

We had this back at the end of last year and early this year. We had 24 people in our team and meetings twice a week where everyone had to update on progress. I found these really tedious and we kicked back and when we got a new divisional director we said we didn't want as many meetings and she has listened and we don't have them as often. Its just an opportunity for confident people to go on about how brilliant they are and for moaners, including me lol, to moan about how awful everything is.

big group hug - I know how you guys feel.

[schneebeli]

Thanks for the replies

Originally Posted by Drima

no its doesnt sound like it should take that long ...
someone or something particular stressing you out more than usual lately?
sounds like your constant;y hyper-conscious/anxious at work...
are you monitored constantly - have to meet quotas and such

i get stressed with workin with a team leader who we've had a couple of bust up already thas stress is eatin at me and i dont feel like i could stay in tha job if that and oother things they do wld cause such stress

that much stress is not worth it - surely you're not happy then at your work place signs to either confront ppl/situations or leave maybe -

Perceptive post, Drima - ye, all those things really. The guy I have to work with has always been a two-faced competitive backstabber which has meant constant friction between us. Lots of pressure with deadlines, and constantly feeling monitored and overlooked as it's an open plan office. Like you say, conflict is a real cause of stress, and probably the worst of all. Hope things improve in your situation too.

Originally Posted by catlover

I'm going through exactly the same thing at my job. They've adopted a new way of organizing the work that leads to a lot more confrontation with co-workers. And every day we have to gather together in a room and report our status; it's definitely a "what have you done for me lately" atmosphere.

I didn't get more than 2 hours of sleep last night. Thank God it's the weekend.

That sounds a particularly tough regime, CL I share that sense of relief every Friday.

Originally Posted by Invictag

I feel exactly the same. My company has recently merged with 2 others and now we are constantly monitored by our manager who has nothing else to do with his time. Every month we have a meeting where all our performance figures are shown and mine, because of the nature of the work I do, are usually amongst the worst making me feel really bad in front of the team. I feel like Winston Smith, always being watched by Big Brother.

I hate the guilt complex that kind of situation make you feel

Originally Posted by Phool

I've been like this for years. I get home between 7 and 8. By the time I've washed and eaten I am ready for bed but I am still tense and usually thinking about that days work or the next day/weeks work. Like I just got up and the first thing I thought about was a meeting I have on Monday.

I happen to work in a environment that is prone for this. But had this conversation with my manager, where I asked if he'd seen the papers on Sunday and he said "No I don't think about work on a Sunday". I really wish I had that ability to just switch off.

That's one of the fundamental problems with SA isn't it: when we know something is coming up, it is uppermost in our mind right up until it happens. Other people who have faith in their abilities can just forget about it until the event.

Originally Posted by Phool

I think the physical thing of sitting behind a screen all day also makes me tired and tense. Have quite severe neck aches and migraines regularly.

Definitely. At least I managed to get a good chair after I refused to use the crap ones they had when I first started there.

Originally Posted by Phool

Then there is the trauma of social interaction, working in open plan there is nowhere to hide if you're feeling crap. Take yesterday, a colleague and I were going to go for lunch as we haven't done in ages and somehow the rest of the team got hold of it and it turned out to be ten of us! As it happens it turned out ok as I used safety behaviours like ordering food to regain some control and sat in a corner with other vegetarians so could discuss veggie food. And it was quite fun.

This was followed by my monthly job chat with my manager where I had listed "achieved" against all my objectives but my manager felt two of them were an "exceeded". And he and another manager helped me with a job application I've been doing. So went home actually feeling very good yesterday. But there days are rare and I wish I could have more of these and less of the other.

Well done for pulling positive out of difficult situations. Yup, some days I just can't cope with the forced socialisation of sitting with 3 others every day and end up getting up all the time to do things to get away from it.

Originally Posted by woodbutcher

I'm usually mentally and physically exhausted when i get home from work.Usually have a nice long shower and then a catnap for 20/30 mins.It's not uncommon for me to find myself having a tear or two if it has been a stressful day working alongside a lot of other people but i am just glad i am self employed and in charge of my own destiny.

If i'm feeling stressed at work i can just take off on some errand or other or pop to the shop.

I could never work in an office 9-5.Think i'd end up flipping out.

Ye, that's it - exhaustion as well as tension, it's a horrible combination. I sometimes try to have a nap early evening but the invasive thoughts keep waking me up with a start. A hot bath really helps but due to the shared facilities where I live there's not usually enough hot water at that time of day Congrats on getting your own business running - tending to think that's the best way for many of us to work. Just wish there was something I could do...