Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Mellie]

Oh sorry I didn’t mean you guys here obviously. Just a few. I’m calm and not going to let people walk over me anymore. I don’t hate anyone.

[choirgirl]

I'm using you all as my free therapy. I'm sure it's getting annoying. I think I need to find an actual therapist at some point, but I need to deal with a LOT of stuff and it's all in a big mess and I need to lay it out on the table and go, help! So I need someone who knows what they're doing with LGBT issues, which narrows the field considerably, but also is able to deal with other stuff.

I've got a lot of unprocessed/semi-processed stuff. I think there's some half-processed grief stuff in there, there's all sorts. I seem to process something until I'm functional and then go, that'll do! Let's get on with things now. And that's if I know I have something to process! I didn't know I had a lot of school stuff to process for example. We're talking 30 years of accumulated shit to deal with at this point. To think I was delusional enough to think I was sort of ok. Well, I'm not exactly happy but you know, this is fine, I'm not super stressed or depressed most of the time, I'm sometimes happy, so that'll do for now. And man, the whole shame/self-hatred thing? That is some insidious, pervasive shit, turning up in all sorts of places you wouldn't expect. There I was, not even worrying about it. It's a mind****.

[genovese]

^ You can self refer

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/ot...onSearch/10008

See what's available in your postcode area. Be detailed (as much as is reasonable) when filling in the form, so that they can allocate you to the right service or advise of a more suitable resource to contact.

[choirgirl]

^Thanks. I assumed I'd be paying for it myself. Also, no CBT, for the love of God! Not for all this mess. Will have to see what they have to offer, if anything.

[Bored]

i wonder if Trump will get back in...... oh dear

[Mellie]

thinking I don't belong anywhere. It's obvious..

[Bored]

.....who would be the patron saint of social anxiety.....

[Bored]

...chocolate.....

[Dougella]

^ Aw, it's so great to talk to a GP like that isn't it! They should all be like that, and the younger ones seem to often be a bit better,but unfortunately there are still quite a few who are quite frankly rubbish with mental health and other things too.

[Mellie]

I always seem to get good doctors even for health/mental health. don't know why others don't!

[Mellie]

wondering why they want to ring me about disease that I have - I'm just a carrier for anti trypsin deficiency, only reason I can think is my dad may of told them I'm smoking. I probably won't stop it, I'm addicted to it now.

[choirgirl]

^^^^Wow! That sounds amazing!

My problems with procrastination are threefold, owing to anxiety, neurological deficits, and, probably deeper psychological stuff around self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-loathing. Fun times. So it's a psychological AND a neurological problem. The procrastination advice was always moralistic, and that never helped me. It did mention self-sabotage, and I was like, why would I be doing that, and anyway, often I'm really trying! It was only when I read about ADHD and executive function that I started to think about things differently. And yes, I am procrastinating by writing this comment. Of course I am.

[choirgirl]

Ugh - bloody jobhunting. It's so depressing. I'm going off the delivery driver thing. God, if only I'd got a grip on my anxiety in my 20s blah blah blah, I really painted myself into a corner. I do intend to do the self-employment thing properly at some point but I just don't have the headspace for it at present to earn real money. I just need to be able to get another decent wodge of savings together in the next year or so, then maybe I can finally resume my life! At least I know I self-sabotage now!

[Mellie]

I hope you find a job soon choirgirl. good luck x

[choirgirl]

Thanks. I'm not earning much at the moment and I need to get the savings going again. Wish I'd been more single-minded earlier in life but all I can do now is get focused again.

[choirgirl]

Shared houses. (I will stop myself from going on a housing rant.) I didn't mind them when I was in them for about six and a half years, but once I moved back home I couldn't face them again. It was a sort of lose lose situation. It's like, you can have more freedom and being yourself in some ways, but more security and overall more being yourself at home. I think it's the strain of being a normal person, being around people all the time, that does my head in. You have to work all the time to pay for stuff (not unreasonable) and then again at home. Too much peopling.

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Had a phone interview for a job on Tuesday which ended promisingly with them saying they’d be in touch about arranging a trial shift for next week. Haven’t heard back from them and now I have my current job asking about my availability for next week, plus we already have some house viewings booked for Monday. Why can’t the job hunting process be simplified and less obtuse?!

[choirgirl]

^Because usually it's not run for our convenience. It's very annoying though.

[Tonkin]

What happened to the career change/working from home thread?

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Tonkin

What happened to the career change/working from home thread?

Which room was it in?

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

^Because usually it's not run for our convenience. It's very annoying though.

I suppose so, although it’s less about convenience and more about the frustration of not knowing where I stand, whether I should email them to prod them on it or not make a nuisance of myself, the massive disappointment when I realise they’re not getting back to me or they tell me they’ve decided to go in another direction.

Working is something that everyone is expected to do, and anyone who doesn’t is on the receiving end of some of the worst scorn society has to offer, from pretty much all directions because it’s widely accepted that they deserve it, so it still doesn’t make a lot of sense that there are so many hoops and hurdles to jump to get into work and get ahead.

[choirgirl]

^^Yes, I've always thought this myself.

[Toxic]

Some absolute cock end has been coming into work as normal this week. Only now we find out his wife has tested positive for Covid at the weekend.

Literally cannot fathom how stupid you can be. I live with people who need to shield, other staff are living with people who work at care homes and schools.

Now were all suppose to wait for 2 weeks to see if anyone drops dead because hes claiming he feels absolutely fine and doesnt need a test. (I wouldn't mind, the couple are both in their 60's you would think they would take it a bit more serious)

Beyond annoyed, I'll ****ing twat him if hes spread it about, I'm still half tempted to drop him in it and get him fined as it is.

[Dougella]

^ What was he thinking?! Or was it because he didn't think they could cope financially if they were both off work?

[Toxic]

^ He makes it well known he really doesnt need the money as they don't drink/smoke and hes always doing cash in hand jobs - hes absolutely loaded he just likes to keep busy.

We all know damn well hes done it so he doesnt lose any pay though. (Not that its worked for him as now hes been given a forced 2 week holiday) This is the same person who uses works tea/milk/hot water instead of home (hes bloody embarrassing at hotels, he stuffs all the freebies in his pockets) and purposely hangs around so he can round his overtime up to the next 10 minute block.

[Dougella]

^ So he's just inconsiderate to other people then, lovely. Good thing he's been made to have 2 weeks off!

[Professor Willow]

Getting drunk alone is no fun.

[Dougella]

^^ It's not really is it, where are the people that you live with?


^ Can you break the things into smaller steps and try just doing a small step at a time?

[Mellie]

sleeping is the cure.

[Utopia]

^For what? Sleepiness?