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10th December 2020, 16:38
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Suffering comes from the heart.
No sound is as raw and as authentic as a scream. You can't fake suffering. You can't know suffering until you have experienced it. We are great at pretending we are happy but you can't fake misery. Misery is not just an issue of the head. Misery is a tunnel down to the core. Misery is hard to shake because it is difficult to trump a feeling that is so unshakeable and deeply embedded. How much control have 'I' over my mind? What is the likelihood it will change in any way? Is it wrong and does an attitude so anti-life have to be changed in order to be somewhat at peace with oneself? What is at the other side of the fire? Can we walk it or is there even a fire to confront? Should I stay and watch or fight and shout? Is the walls made of elastic or cement? Is looking for a solution a logical fallacy? A happy thought for one person is denial for another. Death doesn't care to care or to care not. People who function well in this era, would be ruined in another. There are people that don't get better. There are stories of people who set out to reach the horizon, and never find it. Happiness is conditional. You can't be happy in the absence of everything. That is a doorway to meet the devil. Change yourself too much and you will get lost. Everyone is pretending and they don't know it. Humans can't save themselves. We were doomed from the beginning. There is no better joy than appreciation just for existing. There is no greater destruction to a person than the conclusion that they have no power. Inefficacy is rejection by the non-sentient. And just as painful. Is this special or is it a tape playing over and over on repeat? Spontaneity is a thing of the past. Without spontaneity there is no lasting happiness. The problem with nature is that it forces us to compromise spontaneity with comfort. Non comfort and sparse spontaneity are both miserable. There is no argument for spontaneity but there are plenty on safety. The future looks bleak. Technology is control by its very nature. That doesn't bode well for humanity. You have to be dull to be successful, not passionate. Some homeless folks live in paradise whilst others get sucked down the drain. The search for a solution may be what perpetuates misery because it is misery. You aren't allowed to be miserable!! We could be one thought away from happiness, or a galaxy away. Tell me someone who knows and I'll suck on their helmet. A deficit in aggression is a deficit in wellbeing. No aggression is repression. Excess aggression is self-hate. Aggression, negativity, worry, panic, shame, fear, sadness, loneliness. You really think you can stop all that? While we make plans, god is laughing at us, and god doesn't even know why he laughs. 
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11th December 2020, 10:38
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Thinking about my night swim in the sea tonight with a friend, kind of regret arranging it now but it will be quiet on beach and need to get out.. it will be cold but she wants to light a fire.
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11th December 2020, 10:48
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Quote:
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11th December 2020, 22:22
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Thinking about xmas and hankering for a good time. It would be so good to have a group of friends to hang out with and blow off some steam - something i'm not ever gonna get with my mum, my brother and his family.
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11th December 2020, 23:25
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Nope. It'll probably be alright with another couple more adults cos then we could play games, etc.
Eh, i should shut up and just count my blessings. I don't think we've met up altogether at all this year so at least there's that.
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12th December 2020, 12:14
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Quote:
It'd be quite nice actually. Having a secluded place near freshwaters and everyone bringing bits and bobs of food and that ....
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13th December 2020, 19:17
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Thinking about the poor girl that was on train track today and refused to get up my partner spoke to her for a while and she said she has borderline personality disorder. Police were al around her for ages trying to get her off the train track
 she tried to run away she told my partner she didn’t want to get sectioned. Hope she gets counselling.
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14th December 2020, 00:33
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I am the weird aunt that everyone has suspicions about. Of course, one doesn't subjectively experience oneself in that way. A harmless, kooky, walk-on part in the comedy of life. Came to me when I was shopping for family presents.
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14th December 2020, 08:36
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I was meant to get my fence sorted today. I heard a knock on the door so gentle at 8am that I wasn't sure it even was a door knock or that I hadn't imagined it. Then my phone rang downstairs, but I have it on vibrate and my phone insists on going to voicemail after 8 seconds, so couldn't answer in time. By the time I threw on some clothes, came down and looked out the window, the van was pulling away. Called and they can't get anyone out again for the job till half way through January.
You'd think I was annoyed but I'm a bit relieved  It's like a day off school, expecting to have to deal with people and then finding I don't have to.
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14th December 2020, 17:09
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
I’m thinking my parents are so awkward going out for a meal with, my mum is fussy and said can we go somewhere else, we all refused lol, and dad was talking loudly so next table kept glaring at us. Awkward!
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15th December 2020, 23:31
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
Uni, I'm doing an assignment for tomorrow, not right now. I'm gonna finish and post it tomorrow though. Half of the assignment involves stuff we learn around October that I completely forgot about. Some of the stuff is content we didn't learn so have to research. To be fair, I could've been better prepared for this.
Recently I also have to complete a group presentation by Friday. I think the groupwork is weak but I had fun making my part of the presentation and feel like I wouldn't mind helping others complete or improve there parts, it's a sway presentation. I've always liked making posters, presentations. However, I only seem to like it when it necessary to make. I feel I learnt more about the part I made the presentation on just by having to create it. I even got a good mood from creating it as I felt proud or confident about how I was putting my section together. The lack of togetherness in the groupwork reminds me of how poor my communication skills are. It has made me consider Graphic design, though I only like to do such think when there is a point behind it, if that makes sense which makes me confused. I think Psychology isn't overly hard if you study everything and are interested in the subject, however it is mountains of information. And I feel I need to study better, but if I was honest I don't feel studying Psychology, being a Psychologist really interests me.
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16th December 2020, 13:12
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Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)
But I don't think I want to do a job involving Psychology. It's definitely not meaningless but sometimes it feels meaningless or I just don't care much about what I am learning.
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