"Children always blame themselves"

[gingercat]

... so said my therapist yesterday when we were talking about things that went wrong earlier in my life. He was right. I definitely blamed myself.

But that doesn't necessarily mean they're always wrong to blame themselves... does it? I think I was probably right to in my case.

It's not so much what happened at the time that leads me to that conclusion, it's more the way people treat me since, as an adult. If I didn't deserve the bad stuff that happened, surely people would be nicer and more understanding about what it did to me? And they wouldn't expect me to overcome it all on my own with no help? But they're not and they do... so that means I must have deserved it.

...right?

[Greyhound Girl]

I think if people haven't experienced those, or similar, bad things as a child then they perhaps aren't going to have a great understanding of what it can do to you.

Their apparent lack of understanding doesn't mean you deserved anything.

[gingercat]

Thanks. I guess that's true with a lot of people. Though it disturbs me most when I see that sort of unsympathetic attitude with people who do (or should) understand... like from my ex who'd had similar problems, or on here... or even in "self help" books occasionally.