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  #1  
Old 11th November 2017, 04:39
BabyBoyBelcher BabyBoyBelcher is offline
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Unhappy Feeling better then...

Hey guys,

Haven't posted for a while but does anyone start to feel better but then one comment or something makes you feel like you're back at square one??

I feel like I'm done trying... surely giving up feels better than this??
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  #2  
Old 17th November 2017, 00:02
scarlettgirl scarlettgirl is offline
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Default Re: Feeling better then...

Yep, most of the time things feel quite pointless now.
I have just resigned myself to this life. Maybe some day it will get better and stay that way, but i've had too many blows to even hope for that anymore.
It's not a healthy suggestion, I'm sure. But not expecting any better is how I deal with it now.
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  #3  
Old 17th November 2017, 15:33
Hayman Hayman is offline
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Default Re: Feeling better then...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyBoyBelcher
Hey guys,

Haven't posted for a while but does anyone start to feel better but then one comment or something makes you feel like you're back at square one??

I feel like I'm done trying... surely giving up feels better than this??
Every few years, I'm sorry to say. I tend to go through stages...

I can sit back and not make much effort and I'll be blamed for my situation. So, to stop this from happening I'll then go through a few years of making genuine effort. I'll spent lots of money to socialise and I'll make honest, sustained efforts that simply don't work. I'll also be blamed for not getting anywhere... I'll be told I'm not doing enough, that I'm not making any effort (despite effort required just to actually get out in the first place...never mind anything else) and at this point I 'throw in the towel', realise my efforts are completely ignored and sink back into my shell for another few years.

It's a viscous circle. I try to get out of it, but without the acknowledgement that I've tried or the benefits for making effort making themselves known (as they would for most people), I find myself quickly falling down again.

At this moment in time, I'm at the end of the 'trying' phase… Only this time, I feel it's too late to change things. There's too much of a 'gap' of nothingness and that would have to be addressed first. I haven't actually said this out loud as of yet as I understand how counter-productive it sounds, but I've grown so fed up of making no progression for my honest efforts that I'm at the point of saying "I'll go out…but the same guarantees that other people have of enjoying perks or progressions need to be in place. No if's. No but's. Same event - same things need to happen. No more exclusions for me".

Again, I appreciate how that sounds but at what point are you allowed to see your patience run out? How much longer can 'nothingness' go on for, without frustrations being vented? I'm tired of putting on an act of things are okay in my life - when inside, it's far, FAR from it.

I'm only human!
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  #4  
Old 17th November 2017, 18:04
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Default Re: Feeling better then...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyBoyBelcher
Hey guys,

Haven't posted for a while but does anyone start to feel better but then one comment or something makes you feel like you're back at square one??

I feel like I'm done trying... surely giving up feels better than this??

Nice to see you posting again

In answer to your question - yes frequently.
Just an off hand remark from an acquaintance or some perceived slight or rejection can send me spiralling into a very dark place but because it’s happened so many times over the years I now know that it will very likely pass.

Generally Life has been the occasional high followed by quite a lot of dips and a few plummets, but remembering how I eventually came back from the very brink (i’m talking suicide here) prevents me from feeling that things will never improve because I know that they can and did!

Also, I don’t think it’s possible to ever be in exactly the same place as where you started - back at square one as you say - however far you fall, because even if things don’t turn out as you hoped you will have learnt a little bit about yourself and your situation along the way. It’s often because of the knock backs that we are able to learn some of the most significant lessons in our lives, ones that can spur us on towards making some positive changes.

If you really wanted to give up on life, I don’t think you’d even be posting this thread and asking how other people cope with the knockbacks


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayman
I haven't actually said this out loud as of yet as I understand how counter-productive it sounds, but I've grown so fed up of making no progression for my honest efforts that I'm at the point of saying "I'll go out…but the same guarantees that other people have of enjoying perks or progressions need to be in place. No if's. No but's. Same event - same things need to happen. No more exclusions for me".

Again, I appreciate how that sounds but at what point are you allowed to see your patience run out? How much longer can 'nothingness' go on for, without frustrations being vented? I'm tired of putting on an act of things are okay in my life - when inside, it's far, FAR from it.

I'm only human!
That’s an interesting stance to take, Hayman.

I imagine it must be extremely frustrating for you to have tried so hard in the past, pulled out all the stops as it were, but still feel that you are missing out on things that seem to almost come too easily to others, and which they often take for granted too.

However, like you say, it does sound slightly counter productive if you are suggesting that you are going to go out there and demand the perks that other folk enjoy. I mean, how can you guarantee that other people will want to cooperate?
I can’t help thinking that making demands on others, or expecting them to reciprocate, will lead to more disappointment for you in the long run rather than taking you closer to the life that you would like for yourself. Sorry, if I’ve misunderstood you, I’m a bit slow today, so ignore me

I wish you all the best
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