Anyone ever drank before a job interview?

[pinkwafer]

Hi,

I have a job interview on Friday for an 'Benefits Assistant' - from the job description it seems like a lot of processing forms, scanning and some invoice work (never done anything to do with billing though).

So admin basically.

Anyway, the last interview I had was awful. My anxiety was very high and one of the interviewers was a bit nasty, it left me in tears afterwards. This was a few months ago.

In these kind of situations, I find it very difficult to speak - sweat, blush, hands shake, voice shakes etc.



I used to drink before things like meetings with tutors at uni and no one ever noticed. It helped make the experiences less scary, though it didn't turn me into some extrovert who was great at speaking.. but it did numb the anxiety a bit.


Just wondering if anyone has ever done this?

I am seriously considering it. Just a few gulps of rum. They won't smell it unless did something like kissed me, which I doubt will happen. It won't distort my thinking as I won't get drunk, but just feel a bit of that numbness.

[black_mamba]

I tried it once, and it works a tiny bit (made me sleepy more than anything!). A better alternative would be Beta Blockers. They calm your heart down, you shake less, it's easier to talk, to think. Something to think about for the future maybe?

[Reclue]

I used to need a drink before I could go to work every day - not good

No one ever noticed.

More recently I had to take someone to court and represent myself, for that I went to the doctors and explained I was going to be in a stressfull situation and I knew from past experience I would have difficulty in speaking.

I can't remember what she prescribed, she did say it was OK for occassional use but could be highly addictive.

I only ever used it for that day and it did the trick, I even argued with the judge that he wasn't doing his job correctly - and I won my case.

[pinkwafer]

I dunno surelynot.

I mean, relying on psych meds or alcohol, any real difference? I mean, it's still using something to take away the symptoms of something else. Though of course one is significantly more damaging. Though I know what you mean - when I say I used to drink before attending things... I was reliant on it really in those situations. It's just as I say - it was so unpleasant the last time

Black mamba - it makes me sleepy too. Only afterwards though. I know, but it's only in a couple of days. Though I do want to speak to someone about these before my next driving test as the two I've had thus far have been awful for me too. I just don't know how to even speak to a doctor about it... because it is speaking that is my problem. That itself would be a challenge and a struggle Wish could just buy them on internet, tbh.



Even the idea of starting a new job scares me so much. I don't like my job at all, but it is familiar.

Thoughts like:

what if it's a huge scary office that's really busy?
what if the people are worse than where I am?
what if I can't handle the job somehow?
what if it makes me even more unhappy?

[pinkwafer]

Originally Posted by Reclue

I used to need a drink before I could go to work every day - not good

No one ever noticed.

More recently I had to take someone to court and represent myself, for that I went to the doctors and explained I was going to be in a stressfull situation and I knew from past experience I would have difficulty in speaking.

I can't remember what she prescribed, she did say it was OK for occassional use but could be highly addictive.

I only ever used it for that day and it did the trick, I even argued with the judge that he wasn't doing his job correctly - and I won my case.

You always think people would notice, the look in your eyes, but they don't see it. It's weird.

I want magic pills like that, too Formal situations... testing situations... they're the worst for me.


That feeling in your throat that you have some big lump there... the tightness in your chest... proper sucks being me

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by pinkwafer

Wish could just buy them on internet, tbh.

Actually, you can. Although I got my dad to buy them for me because he used to be a doctor and so I trusted his judgement on the supplier. They take a while to arrive so yeah, something for the future I guess. I'll ask my dad who the supplier was.

[Rocket Spud]

Yeah, the temptation to use booze is always there for me before high anxiety situations, i work myself up so much. I'm absolutely dreading, when the time comes (soon), having that interview time and date hanging over me.

Anyway, I shouldn't think it be that uncommon here. I'd bet a good handful of us have. If your in desperate need and know your own limits, then why not? You know yourself by the sounds of it.

Have you got any meds at hand?

[pinkwafer]

Originally Posted by black_mamba

Actually, you can. Although I got my dad to buy them for me because he used to be a doctor and so I trusted his judgement on the supplier. They take a while to arrive so yeah, something for the future I guess. I'll ask my dad who the supplier was.

Thank you - I'd very much appreciate that

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Yeah, the temptation to use booze is always there for me before high anxiety situations, i work myself up so much. I'm absolutely dreading, when the time comes (soon), having that interview time and date hanging over me.

Anyway, I shouldn't think it be that uncommon here. I'd bet a good handful of us have. If your in desperate need and know your own limits, then why not? You know yourself by the sounds of it.

Have you got any meds at hand?

No... I don't take any medication.

If I were constantly anxious, I would want meds, but I'm not. I get a bit anxious before like hairdresser appointments, meeting friends etc. Most anxiety when something is happening that causes big change or interviews etc. Then I calm down until the next thing that triggers it. I take a while to feel OK in a new situation around new people.

I work myself up too, to the point of insomnia. I know it isn't good, but my hope lies in that as the years go on I'll get more and more used to these things. I hope.

I'll do it. Why should I experience what I experienced the last time again? at least if I am slightly drunk (I can hold my drink very well, too)... if it goes awful my self-awareness won't be as great so it will not seem as unpleasant.

[Rocket Spud]

^^ Well, from what you've said there, we're very much alike with the anxieties (bar the hairdressers ) and when it affects us. I used to be on edge all the time but i've come a long way since then and only experience it socially and on 'important' occasions.

If i were sensible, i'd try what Black Mamba suggested and use meds. I've got propranolol and should use them a little more often but i rarely exercise my anxieties

[firefly27]

I once had a drink before making a presentation to a seminar group at uni.. it definetly helped but I've only done it that one time. My main worrys would be a) becoming dependent and b) people noticing. Actually people noticing would be my biggest worry, and no doubt i'd feel worse anxiety later worrying about how I might have come across.
This said, I do always drink in social situations where alcohol is available... because others are too. The difference for me is that one is a secretive behaviour and one is out in the open.

[ratty]

I've only ever had a drink of caffeine before an interview - seriously, since I stopped drinking caffeine and have had health problems it goes straight to my head and makes me feel giddy and carefree. So I thought it might help me be more extroverted for the interview. I realise this is nothing like having alcohol as it's not regulated as the same type of drug, but the effects on me at the time were probably similar.

I think people will only notice if you act visibly drunk - presumably you're not drinking it to get drunk, just to have a change in feeling which you can have after a smallish amount without your behaviour becoming massively affected (though this depends on your tolerance level, and I guess if people know you they might notice - but presumably interview panels don't).

I dunno, it's a tricky one. I think if something helps then you should do it, but on the proviso it won't lead to problems further on (for example, if you get drunk to pass an interview but then realise you can't actually do the job without getting drunk every day - I'm not saying this is you at all!).

[Zardo]

With how alcohol effects me, doing that would be a really bad idea I think! I do badly in interviews whatever I've tried, although I managed to reach the last 2 in my last one. Of course the other guy got the job instead. I've never had a successful interview and doubt I ever will! I'm stuck in a cycle of unemployment/temporary minimum wage agency work/unemployment>>>

[Julian3000]

I did this once and it did not go well, in fact it made me more anxious because now I was worried about people smelling it on me (it was a group interview) on top of the other stuff. Am not a drinker and it was the first time I had drank before it was even dark, I think the problem was I didn't drink enough, it was like one can of cider. Anyway long story short I ended up telling my interviewer that I had got drunk the night before even though he never asked or suspected and the rest is history.

I personally would advise against it especially when you can get meds that are much more effective and discreet. If you feel you have to take something, then take Valium, but only as a last resort and never take it regularly. The truth is that if you went to the interview as yourself, naked with all your flaws on show you would actually feel much better for getting through it regardless of the outcome.

[black_mamba]

^But realistically some of us don't eat if we can't find a job so for that reason I'd recommend meds. Valium makes me very sleepy and Beta Blockers seem to ward off anxiety much more effectively but this can be totally different for another person. Everyone reacts to meds slightly differently so if you do try meds and the outcome wasn't great, it's worth trying an alternative.

[pinkwafer]

Originally Posted by Zardo

With how alcohol effects me, doing that would be a really bad idea I think! I do badly in interviews whatever I've tried, although I managed to reach the last 2 in my last one. Of course the other guy got the job instead. I've never had a successful interview and doubt I ever will! I'm stuck in a cycle of unemployment/temporary minimum wage agency work/unemployment>>>

That's just feel.

I feel trapped in agency work.

I need a permanent job.

I have never passed an interview, either. I have planned my answers, kind of know what I will say, but I want to physically be able to say them.

It's tomorrow morning, I don't have time to see a doctor.

If I get the job, I'll get it because the alcohol helped me communicate a tiny bit better, but in my communication I expressed I was suitable for the role. If I don't get the job, I don't get it because other people answered better. It won't be anything to do with the bit of rum I'd drank on the bus.

The thing is too, I know myself. I know from past interviews how I feel and how high my anxiety is in them and what a struggle it is to talk.

And the amount of times I did it at uni. Well, I know how no one even noticed. I do however know, that it didn't work so great, but it worked a little... and sometimes even a little help is beneficial for us... in how we feel inside afterwards.

I'd drink a few gulps on the bus there, so by the time I am there, my awareness is slightly less than it should be. I'd chew gum before hand, they'd have no idea really.




I understand for some people, drinking affects them in a massive way. With me it doesn't. I can drink a bottle of wine, shots and a couple of beers on a night out in the space of three/four hours, still talk fine and walk fine - and I'm a 5 foot 3 woman who is of medium/slim build. Alcoholism is in my family and I think it might be something to do with that. Or maybe I can just handle drink well, I dunno.

[pinkwafer]

I am very, very anxious now.

My stomach has felt tight most of the day and I haven't had much of an appetite (usually eat LOADS).

I almost feel tearful I am so anxious.

It's pathetic I know.

[black_mamba]

It's not pathetic. You're suffering from anxiety and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You're bound to be nervous. Don't beat yourself up about it. When is the interview? I really hope it's goes OK for you.

[Saponara_Immobile]

I never have but I've thought about doing it before (and then regretted not doing it afterwards). I guess the reason I didn't though was that I worried that they might notice and also that I had a period where I flirted with the temptation to become a full blown alcoholic and I figured this might be a step that leads to that so erred on the side of caution, but I've always relied on alcohol to get through less formal social events.

I think now that I have my depression under more control, I will try and get on medication for anxiety as I want to put myself in these situations more and have never tried those types of meds (only anti-depressants) to help calm my nerves.

Good luck on the interview btw

[pinkwafer]

Originally Posted by black_mamba

It's not pathetic. You're suffering from anxiety and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You're bound to be nervous. Don't beat yourself up about it. When is the interview? I really hope it's goes OK for you.

Originally Posted by northeastsouthwest

Be positive about it, hun. I find talking to myself positively helps, with positive upbeat music in the background. Sounds weird and it is weird to do at first.

TBH I've had a really rubbish day at work. But as I was driving home, I talked to myself about how the next time IS going to be better and that I am going to shine and have a much better day.

GOOD luck. You can do this.. I promise you. You do not need alcohol.

GL xx let us know how it goes. Sounds an exciting prospect

Originally Posted by kramer

I never have but I've thought about doing it before (and then regretted not doing it afterwards). I guess the reason I didn't though was that I worried that they might notice and also that I had a period where I flirted with the temptation to become a full blown alcoholic and I figured this might be a step that leads to that so erred on the side of caution, but I've always relied on alcohol to get through less formal social events.

I think now that I have my depression under more control, I will try and get on medication for anxiety as I want to put myself in these situations more and have never tried those types of meds (only anti-depressants) to help calm my nerves.

Good luck on the interview btw

Originally Posted by Samba

No, but I think I will consider it in future though because I usually fall to pieces in interviews due to nerves. I've had 7 interviews and I've only been somewhat relaxed in 2 of them from what I can remember.

Anyway good luck tomorrow.

Thank you.

It does make me feel pathetic. I know other people don't get like it and wouldn't understand. They say things like oh, just relax' or 'don't be nervous!'... but that's so much easier said that done.


It was this morning. I actually slept OK, about six hours (standard for me), I went on a bike ride last night that I think helped tire me. Talking to myself doesn't really help me as I end up talking negatively but I find distracting myself does kind of help except only before whatever it is I am anxious about.


I did drink, but only a small amount, so little that I hardly noticed myself I'd drank anything.

I know I haven't got the job...


I felt extremely anxious during the first few questions. When they introduced themselves (panel of three) I didn't shake their hands. During the first few questions (eight in total) I felt very hot in the face, my hands were shaking an awful lot, my voice was shaking, my throat felt tight and my voice weak. I couldn't answer properly. After the worst anxiety was over, I was still very anxious.

So much that on one of the questions 'name something you've done you're proud of'... I couldn't think of something right away and said 'I must be too modest' and laughed nervously. I mean, who does that in an interview??


The thing is, it was very relaxed compared to the last interview I went to. The people who interviewed me were much nicer... there were no kind of strange test or anything... but even still, look how I ballsed it up. It didn't leave me feel overwhelmingly sad afterwards as the last one did, but I still cried... because I know how my problem is going to dictate my whole life and I feel so trapped in temping. Though my anxiety in other areas of my life has drastically improved (so much that I don't really use this forum much), in this way it's pretty much the same as it has always been.


I hate my job - the manager is vile, it takes me an hour and half to get there each way and I hate being sat staring at a stupid screen, feeling idle, no natural light, bored of the same task all day. Over the past couple of months, it has started making me feel sad when I am at work. I understand the job could be so much worse but I don't want to be trapped.


It makes me feel like a small child because that is the kind of nervousness you might associate with someone very young, but I am 23.


People say you improve as you have more interviews. But when it's such a draining experience for you and such an ordeal, when you're in a job where the manager doesn't even like you taking time off (at first they tried refusing me today off).... what can you do? Am I really stuck like this, between different jobs? And another thing, how am I meant to support myself like this?


I think what makes it more frustrating is when you see others around you who seem to just get so lucky. So many people I know have jobs through the help of others - they knew someone in the company etc. I don't have anyone like that. Then obviously most people are not as nervous as I am. I'm not trying to sound like I am pitying myself but in a way I am, because I keep trying and am getting no where.

[black_mamba]

^ How many interviews have you had? After not having any interviews for years, my first one went exactly like the one you just had. I was so out of practice. I think sometimes people underestimate just how much practice is needed to get comfy, not saying you definitely are, but it is a possibility. Pinkwafer did you have a different username before? You seem familiar.

If you give more info like what type of work you're willing to do and how you're currently job hunting, we can give better advice. If you're getting to interview stage then that's shows you're just stumbling due to lack of practice/experience but that you've clearly been considered good enough to bring in!

I hate my job - the manager is vile, it takes me an hour and half to get there each way and I hate being sat staring at a stupid screen, feeling idle, no natural light, bored of the same task all day. Over the past couple of months, it has started making me feel sad when I am at work. I understand the job could be so much worse but I don't want to be trapped.

Wow you sound like me when I worked in an office. I went crazy. Would you consider doing outdoors work, like gardening for example?

[pinkwafer]

In my life? not lots. Maybe seven or eight. TBH, I haven't really improved, or if I have, it's very slight.

Yes, I did. I changed it because I got paranoid people at work would track me down aha because it contained my actual name, but it was also the start of my hotmail email address. Becky digit digit digit digit...

Basically, I look for admin jobs, as it's all I have experience in - and apply for ones that aren't customer service/receptionist type. I go through phases of obsessively job hunting, then feel drained/hopeless... stop for a while, then start up again.

I wouldn't mind being in an office if it was semi-idle work. That was why I applied for that job - it said manual handing heavy bulk loads of mail, a lot of scanning so stood up. This particular job I am in has no variety at all, it is processing radiology image requests all day, so sat down all day.


The kind of jobs I think I'd really enjoy are things like working in zoo cleaning animals, feeding etc... dog walking but not five huge dogs at once that'd be awful and scary... it's also difficult to say what I really want because I am quite fickle. They're the only two I am not fickle about. Animals are good.


I like being outside, but I am quite a wimp when it's very cold and I have eczema on my hands that already get very sore in winter and all dry in summer lol.


You hated office work too? how about the back stabbing? and how bloody lazy so many of them seem???? I don't get it when they're like 'I'm tired' it's like eh, you get to work in twenty min in a car whereas I walk a mile and half and am up earlier than you. And that scares me - I don't want to become lazy.

[Rocket Spud]

Congratulations, Pinkwafer I was worried about you there and suspected that you might not go at all so, really well done and also, well done for restricting the use of drink

What you gotta do now is focus on the positives and forget the negative bumf and self criticism. You obviously value yourself enough to get out of that awful office job and put yourself where it hurts.

Well done!!

[pinkwafer]

thank you, kind words

Well tbh, it crossed my mind to not go several times, even when in the building waiting for one of them to come get me.

And I guess it could have gone worse - I'm not entirely sure how, but it could have...

[black_mamba]

Originally Posted by pinkwafer

In my life? not lots. Maybe seven or eight. TBH, I haven't really improved, or if I have, it's very slight.

Yes, I did. I changed it because I got paranoid people at work would track me down aha because it contained my actual name, but it was also the start of my hotmail email address. Becky digit digit digit digit...

OoooO I thought it was you!

The kind of jobs I think I'd really enjoy are things like working in zoo cleaning animals, feeding etc... dog walking but not five huge dogs at once that'd be awful and scary... it's also difficult to say what I really want because I am quite fickle. They're the only two I am not fickle about. Animals are good.

Well I work with animals and we need extra employees. The thing is my boss doesn't advertise for work, she kind of just waits until someone suitable comes into her life. Very strange. Lots of business owners are like this, not very clued up on employing people.

What I'm getting at is that finding a job isn't always straight forward.

You hated office work too? how about the back stabbing? and how bloody lazy so many of them seem???? I don't get it when they're like 'I'm tired' it's like eh, you get to work in twenty min in a car whereas I walk a mile and half and am up earlier than you. And that scares me - I don't want to become lazy.

lol yeah I remember I was surrounded by older people in my office. I used to cycle in and see them in their fancy cars. Although we were all doing similar work, I just felt really out of place. Like you I don't like being idle all the time. I felt like a caged animal. Politics is hard to stomach when the work is boring too.

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Congratulations, Pinkwafer I was worried about you there and suspected that you might not go at all so, really well done and also, well done for restricting the use of drink

What you gotta do now is focus on the positives and forget the negative bumf and self criticism. You obviously value yourself enough to get out of that awful office job and put yourself where it hurts.

Well done!!

Hell yeah, loads of positives to take away from today!

[pinkwafer]

Originally Posted by black_mamba

OoooO I thought it was you!

Well I work with animals and we need extra employees. The thing is my boss doesn't advertise for work, she kind of just waits until someone suitable comes into her life. Very strange. Lots of business owners are like this, not very clued up on employing people.

What I'm getting at is that finding a job isn't always straight forward.

lol yeah I remember I was surrounded by older people in my office. I used to cycle in and see them in their fancy cars. Although we were all doing similar work, I just felt really out of place. Like you I don't like being idle all the time. I felt like a caged animal. Politics is hard to stomach when the work is boring too.


Hell yeah, loads of positives to take away from today!

yeah. I changed my name... it went like this, I was on a forum at work depressionforum.com or something, and someone saw.

I was actually researching.

But he then kept joking about it, looking at the site and laughing at the people's posts.... so then I changed my username on this.

What kind of animals?

That's what I mean, it's so difficult for most people anyway, then when you're there in the interview being like me, you've got so little chance.


Oh no, the ones that moan the most are the youngest. It isn't a big office, like seven people or something.

When they're bored, they use banter to pass time. But sometimes I think this banter is a bit nasty. Like one guy at work keeps saying to me 'go take your pills' - that's just quite offensive. And all the arse kissing to managers etc - I hate that too. Basically I think I just want to live in a cave or something.

Originally Posted by Samba

Great work for going. By the way I can relate to a lot of what you say.

Sucks, doesn't it? things like this really knacker me out. I've felt tired and headachy all day. Still, tomorrow is new day.

Then Monday comes soon. Oh whoo. :-/

[toz]

my anxiety is basically linked to anything to do with job interviews, practical tests and being judged by panels! I have an errational fear of failure. At the moment I am just working freelance, because I'm in a rut where even a phone call about an assesment will give me a panic attack.. if I go to an interview I will be throwing up outside... but back when I used to do lots interviews, I used to drink before to calm the nerves! can take the edge off but I think they know man...doesn't look good if you turn up pissed. Also I drank once before a gig (I play guitar) because I was so nervous and on stage I thought I sounded great and had confidence aplenty, but I actually was so wasted apparently I was just thrashing the air around the strings of the guitar. If you can make it to the interview without the booze then do it, otherwise you may loose your nerves but you also loose your edge!

[pinkwafer]

toz - I do feel like a failure (realistically I am), but I am not sure what it is exactly about them situations that causes me to feel so anxious. I think that they're judging me, paying so much attention to me.






M***9651;N - Thank you . I'm not proud of myself though I know I could have wimped out of going

I'd love that kind of thing.

[toz]

I don't know either, so I understand how you feel. I think I tell myself that if I don't suceed then I might as well go crawl into a hole and die, its crazy and errational, but difficult to control! Anything I have done well at in my life, I tend to brush off like it doesn't matter.
Got to focus on the positives I guess!
I have done many different jobs, but the animal ones are the best for me. I always feel much calmer and happier around animals! and people always need 'shit shovelled' so there is alwys so work somewhere