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  #1  
Old 16th April 2019, 12:11
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
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Default SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

I'm interested in possibly training in another martial art or just something really practical like Krav Maga. I used to do kung fu for 9 years and although my instructor was good, I still don't feel like i can defend myself. Even through all those years I was going, I still never broke out of my anxiety. Any confidence I gained was from therapy and pushing my comfort zone.

Its been a while since I've done any martial art. Tried Jeet Kune Do as I'm a big Bruce Lee fan but I felt the instructor was a bit of a dick because I asked him if I could pay by session like I used to in my kung fu class but from his tone, he just sounded a bit up himself! Some guys from my kung fu class left his class too because of his attitude I believe.

A couple of years ago I went to a Wing chun class and although it seemed friendly, I didn't get a sense that it would be practical. The Instructor was a woman, very nice and friendly and really knowledgable but I doubt she had actually been in a real fight but who knows! One technique she showed us to me didn't look like it would work although maybe this was against someone who wasn't trained but still I wasn't totally sure. And another issue was how much it would cost me a month. I mean my gym membership was much less! The problem with most martial arts is you have to study for a really long time to actually feel confident that you can fight and defend yourself. I read that in Krav Maga you should be able to defend yourself against most real life situations in about 8-10 weeks which seems good.

At the Wing chun class the Instructor said you might be expected to teach at some point which I have no intention of as I hate that kind of responsibility, talking infront of a lot of people. Occasionally my Kung fu instructor would make me lead the class for the warm ups and sometimes he'd say he couldn't hear me which made me even more self conscious! All I want to do is be able to defend myself, I'm really not interested in teaching or becoming an instructor myself! I really don't need the hassle of running a class either even though it seems way far into the future.

There is also some anxiety about turning up to the class with a lot of people there who are already on first name terms, and already have a camaradery. I just hope the insttructor is friendly and understanding at all times and doesn't shout too much if I get things wrong.

I have thought about just getting videos and studying online which some people have actually done. Most classes seem way too expensive anyway and not sure I could afford them long term. My job is only temporary, although been there for well over 2.5 years, it could end tomorrow then I would have to stop going which would be a shame.
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  #2  
Old 16th April 2019, 13:47
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

To be honest I don't rate Krav Maga as an effective MA for "self defense", unless you are very very lucky to find an instructor who has genuine real world experience. No offense to any Krav Maga people on here.

My advice is to get yourself down to a local Boxing or Thai Boxing gym and perhaps, if you can, a Judo class along side it. The alternative is to find a local Combatives instructor (what used to be termed RBSD) if there is one in your local area.

From an SA point of view they can be a bit daunting but like many of these things the SA will ease once you've gotten more comfortable.

If you are serious about "useful skills" I wouldn't waste your time with DVD's and online courses, for what I hope are obvious reasons.

What you are looking for is good hard training, most martial arts classes won't give you that and even Krav Maga can be a gamble, plus you want to avoid a class where they encourage compliant cooperation between sparing partners. Again Krav Maga in my experience can be very hit and miss for that.
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Old 21st April 2019, 13:40
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Just as an after thought formershyguy. Where abouts in the UK are you? If you'd like I could ask around and find out if there are any good combatives instructors in your neck of the woods!? I might also be able to find out if the Krav Maga in your area is worth the effort.

Up to you.
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  #4  
Old 23rd April 2019, 12:23
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Hey Percy, thanks for that! I've looked at 2 places in my area. I live between Oxford and Reading. Both places I looked at charge £45-£67 a month! Which I think is a bit much. Although the local University runs a class which charges by the term which might be reasonable but not sure how good it is.

Been looking at the University class and I'm not sure about the Instructors. I know appearances can be deceiving. But there wasn't much information about them. Atleast with the other clubs I looked at the instructors I saw had actually been in the Military or worked Security.

The University Krav Maga Club run self defence courses if you can't attend a class. That might also be a possibility.
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Old 23rd April 2019, 15:17
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

What were the two places you looked at? Is there a link? Also what info is there on the university class, what do they say?

As I said I'd be wary about Krav Maga but obviously that's up to you. Does the instructor provide background information?

I would still seriously look into boxing or Thai boxing as an alternative.
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  #6  
Old 25th April 2019, 16:08
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Percy
What were the two places you looked at? Is there a link? Also what info is there on the university class, what do they say?

As I said I'd be wary about Krav Maga but obviously that's up to you. Does the instructor provide background information?

I would still seriously look into boxing or Thai boxing as an alternative.
One is called Totalkravmaga and the other SouthwestKravmaga. The instructor of one of them was actually in the Paras and also worked security and close protection.

Not sure about boxing as its limited as you only use your fists, along with footwork and evasion, so no kicks or throws or much real self defence. I think Boxing is geared towards Boxing matches, although once a person becomes proficient I imagine they can deliever some very powerful blows.

Muay Thai looks awesome and seems practical but I think even this might have limits.
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  #7  
Old 25th April 2019, 17:24
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Formershyguy
One is called Totalkravmaga and the other SouthwestKravmaga. The instructor of one of them was actually in the Paras and also worked security and close protection.

Not sure about boxing as its limited as you only use your fists, along with footwork and evasion, so no kicks or throws or much real self defence. I think Boxing is geared towards Boxing matches, although once a person becomes proficient I imagine they can deliever some very powerful blows.

Muay Thai looks awesome and seems practical but I think even this might have limits.
In the choice between the two I'd go with the para, since at least you'd be guaranteed hard training and hopefully he'll deliver the Krav Maga training in a way that'll put a realistic edge to it.

I wouldn't underestimate Boxing. Boxing did me a world of good and frankly if I had to place my bets between a boxer and the average Krav Maga person my money would go on the boxer every single time. Several reasons why but I'll summarize briefly here.
  • You learn to fight under the adrenal surge.
  • With boxing you're guaranteed good hard training, which in turn guarantees hard sparing.
  • Because of the amount of sparing you'll be doing in boxing you'll very quickly get over the fear of being hit.
  • You'll learn to hit very very hard.
  • You'll condition your hands for striking very quickly.
  • You'll get excellent footwork training.
  • You'll learn controlled aggression.

I could go on and on but I'll resist putting you through a long lecture. Sadly many martial arts, and that can often include Krav Maga, doesn't address these issues. Yes boxing does have it's limitations and needs to be supplemented with perhaps Judo or BJJ but i often find people underestimate it. There's a lot more real self defense in boxing than you might realize. Same with Muay Thai which again gives you the above with the added bonus of kicks, knees and elbows.

If your heart is set on Krav Maga then as I said i'd go with the para but obviously that's up to you.

If you're interested in boxing from a self protection perspective I'd very highly recommend looking at the two boxing books by Ned Beaumont.
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Old 25th April 2019, 19:39
LittleMissMouse LittleMissMouse is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Just my two pence worth but Krav Maga is going through its phase of being the coolest (or rather the hardest) kid on the block, which means that while there are some schools with instructors who really know their stuff, there's also a lot of bad gyms just out to make money from the hype of it, you've just got to find a legit gym with a good trainer that has enough sparring that you get used to thinking on your feet.

Muay Thai is awesome - but I'm biased. The drawback in terms of self-defense with Muay Thai is that it's very gladiatorial in that you only fight what is directly in front of you, if you were ever to get jumped from behind modern Muay Thai is not much use, or if you end up on the ground Muay Thai is no use, you're pretty much toast.

Have you looked into some of the less cool kids like systema or silat? Because of being less well known they have less risk of just being money spinners. I don't know much about systema but silat can be pretty good for self-defense depending on the style.
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Old 25th April 2019, 19:56
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMissMouse
Just my two pence worth but Krav Maga is going through its phase of being the coolest (or rather the hardest) kid on the block, which means that while there are some schools with instructors who really know their stuff, there's also a lot of bad gyms just out to make money from the hype of it, you've just got to find a legit gym with a good trainer that has enough sparring that you get used to thinking on your feet.
TBH I think that phrase has passed now although it is still pretty popular. Sadly some are still taken in by the belief that it's taught to the FBI so it still manages to stay popular through that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMissMouse
Muay Thai is awesome - but I'm biased. The drawback in terms of self-defense with Muay Thai is that it's very gladiatorial in that you only fight what is directly in front of you, if you were ever to get jumped from behind modern Muay Thai is not much use, or if you end up on the ground Muay Thai is no use, you're pretty much toast.
Not massively different to Krav Maga actually although Krav does make some efforts to teach dealing with multiples in the advanced stages. A good instructor will do it properly without deluding the student, too much of what I've seen is much like the Hollywood movies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMissMouse
Have you looked into some of the less cool kids like systema or silat? Because of being less well known they have less risk of just being money spinners. I don't know much about systema but silat can be pretty good for self-defense depending on the style.
DON'T waste your time with Systema. Even the Russian Special Forces avoid that one like the plague now. Sambo is more popular from the Russian perspective. Silat can be good fun. I've only tried it a little in the past and it is still an MA but it beats some of the other rubbish out there.
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  #10  
Old 26th April 2019, 14:29
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Bloody hell I'm crapping myself with you guys just reading this..!!
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  #11  
Old 26th April 2019, 14:40
Percy Percy is offline
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Bloody hell I'm crapping myself with you guys just reading this..!!
Why?
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  #12  
Old 28th April 2019, 20:41
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

^ a good martial arts teacher will be respectful of how you feel. I'm very wary of most eastern systems of fighting in this country. I would imagine most are crap in self defence.

Martial arts is about developing not about how you should be. That instructor sounds like a dick whose watched too many steven seagal movies.

Yes, mention your anxiety and also check the reviews of the place also. On your first lesson I wouldn't mention your anxiety just see how pleasant the instructor is and get a feel for the type of atmosphere the classes have
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Old 28th April 2019, 20:52
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Krav Maga is actually really effective in close combat situations. It is about using the quickest and most painful strikes in order to deal with an aggressor. That's pretty essential in a real life scenario.

Also, don't get too hung up on what martial arts you do. The chances of you getting into a fight with another martial artist is highly unlikely so just do one that is enjoyable to you and has a good instructor.

There are some bogus martial arts out there though so definitely give the unusual sounding ones a good research.

As percy says, Boxing, Kickboxing, Muay Thai, BJJ, Wrestling are probably the most tried and rested and will put you goodstead. Karate, Judo are effective but I'd say much more limited than the others.
The rest like Aikido, I'd keep away from.
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Old 29th April 2019, 15:43
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by mutedsoul
I'm thinking of taking up a martial art. I did go to a Choi Kwang Do taster session about 4 years ago and the guy told me off for being anxious and said how it was my fault if I got bullied and stuff. I was upset. That I should look the other students in the eye and speak to them.

Tbh, only yesterday I left a review on the class to which I mentioned this incident.

I feel although what he said was partially true, I can never agree with the way he said it. I know I need to build my confidence hence I am thinking of trying martial arts but my social anxiety is not my fault.

I think if I try another class I have to mention how I have anxiety. I don't expect them to have to lower their expectations due to my anxiety but rather to try and know or just understand that I am not acting anxious, I am anxious.
I've not heard of Choi Kwan Do but like many of these hybrid arts it usually involves a combination of two or three martial arts which the instructor has loosely put together.

He sounds like an absolute dick and not someone i'd waste time with. Sadly MA is filled with egotistical numpties with too much power and not enough empathy. Hopefully you'll find something better and be able to throw (no pun intended) into it with gusto.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer
^ a good martial arts teacher will be respectful of how you feel. I'm very wary of most eastern systems of fighting in this country. I would imagine most are crap in self defence.

Martial arts is about developing not about how you should be. That instructor sounds like a dick whose watched too many steven seagal movies.

Yes, mention your anxiety and also check the reviews of the place also. On your first lesson I wouldn't mention your anxiety just see how pleasant the instructor is and get a feel for the type of atmosphere the classes have
Try and test it definitely. Always go for the taster sessions and get a feel for the place first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer
Krav Maga is actually really effective in close combat situations. It is about using the quickest and most painful strikes in order to deal with an aggressor. That's pretty essential in a real life scenario.

Also, don't get too hung up on what martial arts you do. The chances of you getting into a fight with another martial artist is highly unlikely so just do one that is enjoyable to you and has a good instructor.

There are some bogus martial arts out there though so definitely give the unusual sounding ones a good research.

As percy says, Boxing, Kickboxing, Muay Thai, BJJ, Wrestling are probably the most tried and rested and will put you goodstead. Karate, Judo are effective but I'd say much more limited than the others.
The rest like Aikido, I'd keep away from.
I have strong views on Krav Maga but I won't bother going further.

Judo I think is excellent for its purpose. As a takedown/anti takedown art which is very much the type of thing you need in a self protection "system". Karate can depend on the instructor, some are more switched on than others. Definitely don't bother with Aikido.
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Old 30th April 2019, 21:07
LittleMissMouse LittleMissMouse is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by mutedsoul
I'm thinking of taking up a martial art. I did go to a Choi Kwang Do taster session about 4 years ago and the guy told me off for being anxious and said how it was my fault if I got bullied and stuff. I was upset. That I should look the other students in the eye and speak to them.

Tbh, only yesterday I left a review on the class to which I mentioned this incident.

I feel although what he said was partially true, I can never agree with the way he said it. I know I need to build my confidence hence I am thinking of trying martial arts but my social anxiety is not my fault.

I think if I try another class I have to mention how I have anxiety. I don't expect them to have to lower their expectations due to my anxiety but rather to try and know or just understand that I am not acting anxious, I am anxious.
That guy is a nob. A huge part of a lot of martial arts is humility and mutual respect.
If it were me, I wouldn't mention anything about anxiety at a first session, I would just see how it goes, but I honestly think you'd be surprised by how many people do martial arts because they either have demons that they need to deal with or have self-confidence issues.
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Old 14th June 2019, 21:43
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

I'm guessing Formershyguy hasn't been back since. I'd be interested to see which class he chose to go with.
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Old 18th June 2019, 14:05
Percy Percy is offline
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It will certainly help with the confidence thing, if you stick it through. The amount depends on what you choose to do and how much you commit. One of the reasons I tend to wax lyrical about Boxing is that due to the hard training, more confidence is pretty much assured.

It won't turn you in a super hard bad ass over night and the amount of confidence you exude will depend on you. Also you'll need to be aware of overconfidence. Otherwise I'd definitely go for it.
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Old 26th June 2019, 11:28
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by mutedsoul
I'm thinking of taking up a martial art. I did go to a Choi Kwang Do taster session about 4 years ago and the guy told me off for being anxious and said how it was my fault if I got bullied and stuff. I was upset. That I should look the other students in the eye and speak to them.

Tbh, only yesterday I left a review on the class to which I mentioned this incident.

I feel although what he said was partially true, I can never agree with the way he said it. I know I need to build my confidence hence I am thinking of trying martial arts but my social anxiety is not my fault.

I think if I try another class I have to mention how I have anxiety. I don't expect them to have to lower their expectations due to my anxiety but rather to try and know or just understand that I am not acting anxious, I am anxious.
Sorry to hear you were treated like that! He obviously doesn't understand anxiety. Most people are ignorant of social anxiety. Some people in the past have said to me I need to grow out of it or stop being shy as if it was something I chose! Anyway don't be put off learning a martial art or self defence system because of this one bad experience. I had a lot of fun learning kung fu!
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Old 26th June 2019, 11:36
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by thaifoodparadise
I can only doff my cap to anyone who has the courage to attend a martial arts class. I've always wanted to learn Muay Thai but I just can't bring myself to show up for fear of humiliation.
Hey dude just try to go to a class, watch if you like and if it seems like something you'd like to try then ask if you can join in. The instructor would be more than happy to accept you because as a potential student, you're paying his wages, his mortgage and rent! lol

I remember my instructor was always nice, (well most of the time) he coudl be pretty hard with the training but then again we weren't learning how to knit haha! Many people learn a martial art because they have anxiety and confidence issues.

It took me many attempts to gain the courage to walk through the door but eventually I did it. Because everytime I got nearer and nearer!
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Old 26th June 2019, 11:39
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Percy
I'm guessing Formershyguy hasn't been back since. I'd be interested to see which class he chose to go with.
I haven't chose any class. More than anything they seem rather expensive. There has to be an easier and cheaper method anyway like maybe joining a meetup group or finding people who have trained in other styles and training with them.

But at the moment I just go to the gym. I want to try and pack some muscle on so I look more intimidating!
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Old 26th June 2019, 18:30
Percy Percy is offline
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Good conditioning's always a key factor so that is an excellent idea.

At the risk of sounding preachy Boxing and Thai Boxing gyms are often reasonably cheap if you're worried about finances.
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Old 27th June 2019, 17:31
Deer Deer is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

I start kickboxing next week.
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Old 27th June 2019, 20:17
Percy Percy is offline
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^ Outstanding, I salute you sir.

The good thing about kickboxing of course is that you'll be getting full contact training, which of course equals excellent conditioning.
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Old 27th June 2019, 21:59
Deer Deer is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Cheers, Percy
Yeah, the plan is to do kickboxing 3 times a week and then the gym 3 times a week! That's the plan but I think the routine and planning involved will be too much for me! But if for the time been, I focus solely on that and nothing else, I might be alright but we'll see! No pressure

Did you say you do Martial Arts?
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Old 10th July 2019, 18:22
Percy Percy is offline
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^
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Old 14th July 2019, 22:51
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Good to see you posting mutedsoul. Think you've not been around much recently?
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Old 15th July 2019, 03:18
Percy Percy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mutedsoul
Went to my last session on Wednesday evening. It seemed, maybe cause it's on a workday the other students were more serious about kickboxing. I kept on getting muddled up with what the instructor was telling us to do and found my balance terrible with some kicking exercises. It left me feeling inadequate that I haven't been kickboxing this weekend. I think I must have dyspraxia.

Anyways I was nervous going out, went I went to my local veg groceries, the lady says hi to me in an unfriendly or confronting way, she is Asian. I think cause I was nervous or not smiling or either I am seen as weird. It makes me angry, though it has given me some motivation to continue with the kickboxing, as I deserve to feel good about myself or confident. I was thinking maybe it's not the sport for me though. I know it's a petty reason to feel angry but it makes me feel like they see me as beneath them which I know I am not, hence it is frustrating. But maybe it's also my perspective on the situation.

I watched this movie, I love lifetime movies. I don't want negativity to turn me into the female cop in the movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpMzF1twY2M
It's early days yet mutedsoul. Give it time. It'll come to you.
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  #28  
Old 21st July 2019, 20:35
LittleMissMouse LittleMissMouse is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by mutedsoul
I kept on getting muddled up with what the instructor was telling us to do and found my balance terrible with some kicking exercises. It left me feeling inadequate that I haven't been kickboxing this weekend. I think I must have dyspraxia.
If it helps, that's not a newbie thing, that's an everyone thing, I have over a decade now of muay thai and other stuff and I still have moments of "hang on, what, left, left hook, right, knee, wot????" As does literally everyone I train with, and that includes guys with national titles. Also, balance gets much better when you relax into it, I promise.
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  #29  
Old 5th August 2019, 22:10
WhispPurr WhispPurr is offline
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It's great that you're trying different MAs, mutedsoul.
Keep at it as long as you're enjoying it (that's the main thing!) and that it's helping you towards your goals.
And if you meet a cute girl, even better
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Old 5th August 2019, 22:12
WhispPurr WhispPurr is offline
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Default Re: SA and Learning Self Defence/Martial Arts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer
Yeah, the plan is to do kickboxing 3 times a week and then the gym 3 times a week! That's the plan but I think the routine and planning involved will be too much for me! But if for the time been, I focus solely on that and nothing else, I might be alright but we'll see!
Deer, how's your KBx'ing/ gym plan going? 6 sessions a week is a lot! Don't beat yourself up if you don't do them all; congratulate yourself for any training you DO do
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