"superior" relatives

[Artificial Rose]

"So...when will you start doing something"? was the q. my sister asked me (who has 4 kids , just like me, but also a highly successfull career, and has never been a mum to stay at home )....so i said: "i am doing something, i am looking after my kids, and i have 2 voluntary jobs, when my kids are all in school, i will start looking for a paid job"..

(not looking down at all though on mums who work..if i had no sa i would probably have worked instead of being a sahm..i will never know though)

As usual i was shaking..annoyed and tried to end the convo asap( something i am at least an expert at)

I only speak with her 2x or so a year on the phone
Why does she still get to me. My other relatives are the same...they all get to me though..and why do i let them .

My dad is coming for his 1 yearly visit in 2 weeks time. I know i will feel super inferior...it never seems to change, eventhough my sa over the years has improved slowly.

I just wish i could find a way to not just bluff my way trough something but to actually keep feeling "normal".

[Kitri]

Hey Autumn , good to see you again.

Yeah, family is tough. I don't know anything that could make it better for you I'm afraid. I didn't see my gran the last 2 years before her death because I just couldn't face those questions. Not that she was condescending or anything, but I couldn't take her bewilderment why I wasn't married yet nor had a boyfriend nor finished my degree at uni, nor had a day to day job.

Things with my mum got much better though after I was honest and told her about my struggles. She still has a hard time really 'getting' it, but she tries not to put too much pressure on me anymore as she always used to do. And when she does I can now tell her to back off a little without it causing too much drama so that was a huge improvement in our relationship.

Hope things go ok with your dad!

[Dandelion10]

Yeah I always feel like this compared to my sister. When I hear she's coming over my skin starts itching, I feel antsy and get moody, I try not to resort to my room cos facing her is like innoculation, I can assess the situation, give her the once over (cos we also don't see each other that often) and see it's not that bad.

I always end up smiling at her and praising her for just being her, it's genuine, but also feels smarmy. I do love her but people underestimate sibling rivalry, it goes on throughout life, not just in your youth.

I eventually feel like we're not that much different, me and her understand each other better than our parents understand us, so thats one thing that bonds us.

I don't even try compete anymore like I did when we were kids but neither do I ask openly for advice or try chat and have a laugh cos she's one person that triggers my SA. Instead I feel drained and have to leave now and then to prevent embarrassment.

It's awful to admit but I resent the way her fiance is so attentive towards her, if he rings her when she's at our parents house she'll leave my nephew here and go to him and she's 2 week due to give birth so it's not that simple. She's always put her lovers first.

He's so protective of her and it sounds selfish but thats one thing that I find hurtful to see, their displays of affection, how they're always sat on each others knee when they're here, how he doesn't like us touching her belly. I think of guys who like me and start to hate them cos where are they?

She'll always be better than me. I asked someone I really liked, I'm talking husband material if he liked her he said he did, he reassured me he liked me too but I just thought, **** you.