How many of you are'nt doing anything at all to change your life....

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

due to fear of change, just not knowing what the hell to do to make thigns better or just not believing that you'll be able to change?

I've been doing/not doing :rolleyes: all three for years.

I mean for years I've done nothing at all to change.

At least I can get some happiness and some piece here in my comfort zone, but I feel like that if I try and break out of it I'll never find any peace or happiness again.

earthandocean said this in her most recent thread "years of anxiety and stress has fatigued me to the point where i hav little energy and even less motivation"

and I know exactly where she's comeing from.

Except that I feel that something has broken in me.

Its like I cannot get out of this comfort zone becuse tbh I just cannot see a way of creating another one.

We all need comfort zones but I'm terrified to try and get out of this one and create a bigger one.

I think that life will get a whole lot worse if I try and break out of my current comfort zone and I don't believe I can cope with that and I need to.

At times when I say to myself "this is it now, I'm going to go get out of this" I just become completely overwhelmed before I've even made the first simple step.

I feel like I'm trapped here because I can't honeslty see things getting any better than what I have now so why move on?

It feels like I need something external to happen that can give me motivation because inside me I can't find any reason to change.

I need a fecking break.

[Pantomime]

Originally Posted by Frustration!

It feels like I need something external to happen that can give me motivation because inside me I can't find any reason to change.

This. A thousand times this. Every line, every word. My entire life reduced to bullet points.

I hope someone can offer you (and by extension, me) a more positive response.

[sjsuk]

Yes, I'm the same.
Last year I tried to break out of my comfort zone. Lasted about a day lol.
This year I havent bothered. Not yet anyway.

[senstar]

on the surface of things it probably looks like i am doing stuff to change.

but, to be honest, i've not really attempted to change any of the things that are really the main issues for me. i've not tried to get a new job, make any friends or even have a conversation with anyone (outside of the very few people i feel reasonably comfortable around).

so no, so far i've really not pushed myself out of my comfort zone. while at the same time trying to fool myself that i am

[Mathew]

I would say don't be too concerned with breaking out of your confort zone, like you need to do it immediately or something. There are plenty of things you can do to change 'you' without reaching too far out, putting yourself into situations where you know it will be unpleasent. Try to concern yourself with your overall health, don't just concentrate on 'the problem'. You may find that having a more wholistic view will eventually come to include your problems in its own natural time.

Ofcourse, easier said than done. But so is everything. Life was never meant to be easy, who ever said it was?

Happy to discuss further...

[karl-32]

hi m8 i do fear change. Its one of my big fears . However , as you know i am now trying to make steps to change , my first one going to the drs , second one telling my mum how my life is affected in detail.

i have the opposite way of thinking though regarding the thing you said about anxiety tiring you out to the point you lack motivation. For me my longing to be accepted and fit in is so great and causes me so much distress , that along with i'm just getting worse and worse with age , that it is that thats made me speak out.

if i get my plee for help rejected though i dare say i'll do something "silly" , let you know monday

i dont really have any answers for you if the way you are distresses you then go seek help m8 but you say you cant find any reasons to change .... tough one , i really dont know what to suggest

[Kevin Hodge]

i've sort of bumbled for a few months. my mind does chip away at things...but i recently started attending/organising meets, a while back i went to see my doc about counselling, nothing has happened. today i found counselling available for £5 a session and am organising it, i feel pretty good about it

for those not doing anything, how can you live with the immense hopelessness? if i felt like i was getting nowhere i would be having serious problems with suicidal thoughts. even trying scary things is better than having a shit life

[Crazy]

I do so many things to help myself with SA,GAD and low self esteem ,its crazy.

I know I will never have the life Im dreaming of and it is killing me.

But still I want to win this anxiety fight so badly, and maybe someday have the best life that is possible for me , within the limitations I have.

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

Originally Posted by seth brundle

for those not doing anything, how can you live with the immense hopelessness?

I don't feel like that in my comfort zone all the time, but believe I would if I tried to get out of it.

Thanks for all the replies people.

[Alex76]

I'm not really doing anything to change my life at the moment. I've become too comfortable in my comfort zone.
Might try and get to a meet at some stage though....

[T]

I'm not doing to mutch to change my life... i'm fairly happy where my life is at the mo i think the older i've got the happier i am in life although i could improve it i guess like have a partner and such

[Sidd]

My life has moved on somewhat, but I'm still in the shadow of something which doesn't budge.

Meanwhile, more damage is accumulating of a different sort. And I have all greasy marks upon my soul.

Tick tock.

And I still haven't got any answers. I'll have to do it answerless.

[Eraserhead]

This absolutely sums up my position. It is extremely hard to find motivation to change. I'm just drifting.

[PositivePoemsbyme]

I have been in this comfort zone and its like I should break out of it but i find that I have no energy or Im scared to making change because of my fears coming true and things getting worse. I feel that these are just excuses that I make for myself to not change because maybe Im afraid of being happy and that I cant let things be good once they are like if I am happy then I wont have anything else to fix. But truth is life isnt perfect and no one is perfect. In life you have to try to break your bad habits and at first you will probably get worse but the more you keep trying the later on it will click and stay with you for life. Everything takes practice and effort but once you decide to keep going later on it will become easier to manage. I know what I need to do and what I have learned and I just need to put it to good use. I need to get out of the house more, exercise, eat healthy, and find a good sleeping pattern again. Sometimes we need to push ourselves if we feel tired sometimes we need to build up our mental strength and push ourselves to the limit and other times we need to take a break and relax and learn to breathe. If you get anxious then just focus on your breathing drink water and keep moving in the right direction. Life isnt easy but in time we will get there together.

[Blumoon]

I can't do anything. I just cant talk and thats that. Probably will be like this forever as i always have been.
Looking forward to a good life (not)
fukin roll on deathh!

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

Originally Posted by lilly

frustration do you believe that things can actually improve for yourself?

Not really, but I'm too scared to even try and find out.

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

Originally Posted by Shawty

I can't do anything. I just cant talk and thats that. Probably will be like this forever as i always have been.
Looking forward to a good life (not)
fukin roll on deathh!

PS

I'm too tired right now to even reply to people in my own thread properly.

[no0ne]

i'm doing stuff but i'm finding it incredibly slow and irritatiing dealing with the people who hold the answers.

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

Originally Posted by lilly

yeah i feel this can be a major problem, feel its related to the possibility of recieving any more rejection or knock backs and feeling worse off for it?

Yep, but it's not just a possibilty that it might happen, I know it WILL happen and that I'm crap at dealing with it.

I'm like a pro fighter who can't handle his first defeat and retires because of it.

[no0ne]

Originally Posted by lilly

who is holding the answers

just the people i'm having to endure dealing with while i go through the system of gp's, job centre, shawtrust, local community mental health team, medical review thingy with atos. all of it is sooooooo slow i'm not surprised people can conn the benefit system. I think they're in shock when i ask when i will be hearing from them next.

[Everleigh]

Originally Posted by Frustration!

due to fear of change, just not knowing what the hell to do to make thigns better or just not believing that you'll be able to change?

I've been doing/not doing :rolleyes: all three for years.

I mean for years I've done nothing at all to change.

At least I can get some happiness and some piece here in my comfort zone, but I feel like that if I try and break out of it I'll never find any peace or happiness again.

earthandocean said this in her most recent thread "years of anxiety and stress has fatigued me to the point where i hav little energy and even less motivation"

and I know exactly where she's comeing from.

Except that I feel that something has broken in me.

Its like I cannot get out of this comfort zone becuse tbh I just cannot see a way of creating another one.

We all need comfort zones but I'm terrified to try and get out of this one and create a bigger one.

I think that life will get a whole lot worse if I try and break out of my current comfort zone and I don't believe I can cope with that and I need to.

At times when I say to myself "this is it now, I'm going to go get out of this" I just become completely overwhelmed before I've even made the first simple step.

I feel like I'm trapped here because I can't honeslty see things getting any better than what I have now so why move on?

It feels like I need something external to happen that can give me motivation because inside me I can't find any reason to change.

I need a fecking break.

yep I can relate to how u feel aswell, as u already know!

I kno what u mean about feeling broken, zapped, exhausted, strung out. and the overwhelmingness of trying to help yourself, feeling there are so many problems where on earth to begin? and how? like u, it can feel so demotivating even before u start. The odd thing about me is that ive always had mental health issues since i was younger, but the difference is now i am so depressed that i find it hard to find the motivation to try and help myself. whereas when i was younger, i at least had that 'fighting spirit'. so without this it can be hard. 'fatigue of the spirit' of claire weekes called it, such great word for summing it up. I can relate to much to your post but unfortunately hav no proper advice as im lost too. Im currently seeing more than one therapist and am still like this so I don't kno if therapy is the answer?
One little thing that helps is having a job just cos it can force me to get a break away from me and all my problems. but of course there are days in the work force where u feel like u have more problems. but overall i found work is good for at least getting my mind off myself and gaining a bit of balance. the social side of it can be hard but the actual work itself, having a task to do can be a great break for your mind. sometimes i feel it can help give my mind a break and this makes me feel less exhausted.

one step at a time

[skald]

Trying my hardest this year as it actually becomes more frustrating telling yourself you WILL do It when your ready. Now is Any good of a time to start really.

[booplebum]

Originally Posted by Frustration!

due to fear of change, just not knowing what the hell to do to make thigns better or just not believing that you'll be able to change?.................

Wow! That post really summed up how I feel.

I have in the past done things to try and get out of the situation, but not for ages now. Sometimes I feel so trapped and frustrated that I am ‘almost’ pushed into doing something. Sometimes I have a little burst of enthusiasm and ‘almost’ do something about it. Always though, the feeling passes and I go back to apathy. I think the longer time goes past having these ups and downs the easier and safer it feels to stop in the middle ground of your comfort zone.

I wish I could think of something that I really, really wanted – to have an aim that would push me a bit.

Anyway, that’s not much help to you is it?! Just wanted to say I empathise

[!>Y\e5l-%h-NMw>cH]

"middle ground of your comfort zone"

That's exactly where I'm at most of the time.

I either need something great to happen to give me that spark back or hit an absolute rock bottom where I'm forced to do or die.

Something needs to happen becaue right now I can't find the strength to get out of this.

Thanks for all the replies people.

Wish I had the energy to reply in great detail, help my self and help you all for real.

[Eraserhead]

Originally Posted by Frustration!

"middle ground of your comfort zone"

That's exactly where I'm at most of the time.

I either need something great to happen to give me that spark back or hit an absolute rock bottom where I'm forced to do or die.

Something needs to happen becaue right now I can't find the strength to get out of this.

Thanks for all the replies people.

Wish I had the energy to reply in great detail, help my self and help you all for real.

Yeah, I do sympathize. I really do feel like this. Can't seem to muster up the strength or courage. How do you force yourself to try? I just end up in escapist mode(films, web etc).

[Optimistic]

If I wasn't doing anything to change it would mean I have either got to where I want to be or given up trying. The world would be too painful for me if I gave up, so I'll have to keep working at it.

[Eraserhead]

Yep. I think it is easy to slip into a state in which you do a certain amount without improving. This means neglecting parts of your life and ending up in painful predicaments. I need to focus on improvement.