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#1
22nd September 2015, 23:18
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Were you hit as a child?
I wasnt abused imo, or beaten for no reason though on occasion it definitely went too far.
it probably did, in fact i know it did make a difference considering how chronically shy i was anyway. But its how it was in my family. Anyone else with similar experiences? 
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#3
22nd September 2015, 23:28
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
^ with a belt? Christ. Thats terrible lee.
My old mans dad was like vlad the impaler from the stories ive heard and i often try to think of it as a bad lesson learnt very well. But still, i dont think id be able to live with doing something like this. Its quite frequent even these days imo, sadly.
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#5
22nd September 2015, 23:47
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yes I was slapped in the face, hit across the head, had ears boxed, slapped on the bottom and bamboo caned on bottom. This was considered normal punishment when I was a child.
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#6
22nd September 2015, 23:56
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Something that made me think about all this actually was an argument i had with my dad a few months back when he threatned to punch me and in so many words i told him what would happen if he did. Im not proud of it but he soon changed his mind and it made me realise that id been holding onto a lot of this crap.
Ive seen other kids pubically hit and ive had to restrain myself from saying something. Its just not right imo.
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#7
23rd September 2015, 00:01
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
^ It's not right but it's difficult, as an outsider, to judge what's right for the child. Would most people who had been hit as a child prefer to have been put into the care system, rather than stayed with their family? I've witnessed kids being hit and it's really upsetting, but incredibly difficult to intervene, knowing the havoc that the social services wreak at the slightest sniff of something wrong. That could be ten times more damaging to the child.
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#8
23rd September 2015, 00:09
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
^ yeah, i agree. As much as i imagine it would improve their lot. Its bs cause then theyd be faced with a whole set of new problems, as you rightly said.
All being said the thought of growing up removed from my family would have destroyed me tbh. Its ****ing hard to let go though.
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#9
23rd September 2015, 07:25
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yeah, when I was small and up till about 8 I guess. I'd have red handprints for ages down my legs. My father would go into rages a lot
Later it'd be a case of locking yourself in the bathroom while he tried to hammer the door down with his fists, though as an older child he never hit me. Alcohol then got into the mix and well 24 hour chaos. The next day you'd think nothing had happened. Mostly by then it was verbal 'b***h' c**t' 'parasite'. I was trapped from leaving at 18/19/20 cause of isolation and anxiety and agoraphobic tendencies. I doubt anyone would have believed what was going on either, outside my dad was funny and generous (as he could be we us as well) and very far from the rough or lairy stereotype of a heavy drinker. Yet with alcohol he took bedroom doors of hinges in rages, smashed light fittings and once put his fist through the kitchen window. My mother when I was about 11/12 unfortunately went down the route of alcohol as well. So would be verbally abusive and at times, well, mad (as in crazy not angry). Not that she remembered much of it when she got better. She did stop though, thankfully, and was tee total. (funnily she was tee total till she met my dad). Without alcohol she was the opposite a soft, warm, quiet, polite woman. We lived in lovely locations on country estates because of my dads job, mostly with no neighbours, yet behind closed doors at times it was sheer madness. Probably wouldn't have escalated as much if we'd lived on a street with folk. He's not like that now, though still difficult at times. My recovery worker at MIND was like why the hell do you still have anything to do with him!? I didn't reply, she replied for me "because your alone" (in terms of family) and I suppose she's right. as f***ed up as it is. I'm not sure that I have equated it with abuse either until lately, which sounds mad as I write this but true never the less.
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#10
23rd September 2015, 09:32
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Not really. My mother was a bit handy with birch twigs but it was never an "issue". I also went to a school that was extremely gung-ho about corporal punishment, to the point where, for years, the mention of "tube and rail strikes" conjured up images of boys being thrashed with lengths of metal...
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#11
23rd September 2015, 09:44
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yes. It was just me and my mum growing up and my mum wasnt short a few good hard blows. It was the full force ones to the head that made the room soon and everything go a bit numb. She would also resort to throwing things. The heaviest was one of those old fashioned roller skates. I was quick to get out the way and it broke my chest if drawers instead as it collided :/
I assumed this was normal growing up and that I was overreacting. Now that I am older I understand her frustration as I get it too. But I try not to hurt people with it when it gets out of hand.
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#12
23rd September 2015, 09:55
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yes, violent alcoholic father. It doesn't really bother me any more though as it was such a long time ago, I don't even think about. I didn't get it too badly anyway, all things considered. Growing up with an alcoholic father is pretty much a normal part of being Scottish too.
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#13
23rd September 2015, 11:37
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Not much nor badly. I'm the youngest of 5 kids all of whom were raised pretty much single handed by my mum. I copped for it now and then but not as much as my elder siblings. Anytime i did receive a smack upside the head i was most likely deserving of it.
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#15
23rd September 2015, 16:13
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yeah, but a lot of people have worse. There were a few times where it went too far. I used to wedge myself between the wall and my bedroom door so that my Dad couldn't get in. The emotional abuse was the most damaging though, still is.
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#16
23rd September 2015, 16:26
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
No I wasn't, thankfully. They say abuse is passed down, but the chain was broken, fortunately.
I think parents who discipline their children with physical and/or emotional abuse are the most contemptible individuals in existence.
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#17
23rd September 2015, 18:07
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Smacked, not hit. My brother was kicked around a bit, though - nothing particularly bad except for when he was a toddler apparently my Dad would get very aggressive with him (my Mam told us, he was too young to remember). My Mam says she once hit me hard enough to leave a mark when I was about 2 (and I hadn't misbehaved, she was taking her frustration out), but that was a one-time thing because she felt so terrible about it. I'm fairly lucky with my parents. They weren't abusive, I think it was just the general environment of the home that affected me.
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#18
23rd September 2015, 18:33
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yes my mental and physical abuse was the partial cause of my social anxiety and alcoholism
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#19
23rd September 2015, 19:23
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Big difference between being "hit" and "smacked". I have no problem with my parents occasionally smacking me as a child. The few times it happened I certainly deserved it for being cheeky and I learned my lesson each time. I learned to fear the smack, not them and they never "lost control".
I ended up being a mostly well behaved child and I still love and respect my parents all these years later.
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#21
23rd September 2015, 20:40
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Quote:
As a child though you dont get a choice in the matter.
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#22
23rd September 2015, 22:32
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Quote:
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#23
23rd September 2015, 22:38
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Quote:
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#24
23rd September 2015, 23:32
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Quote:
I guess I was just one of the luckier ones.
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#26
27th September 2015, 13:14
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
yeah,.
I think it affected me quite a bit, it just makes you scared of people, you tend to retreat into your own world, just to get away to somewhere safe, you end up not trusting people and retreating inwards psychologically, most of my brothers hit me, apart rom one, who had learning difficulties, my Dad was the worst, incurring so much fear in me that even when I'd reached 18, I still cowered at times when I walked past him. I did get a really bad shock introduction to all this violence when I was about 7 when I had my head smashed off a brick wall by my Dad,. I changed after that, I think it affected my brain or something,.. I probably incurred some form of brain injury from it,.. my behaviour after that was really odd and very different from what had gone before. violence sucks,. basically 
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#29
27th September 2015, 16:03
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Emotionally abused, bullied and rejected every single day. Possibly as a self-protection or -preservation mechanism, I have very few childhood memories. Those I do have are not good either. (That was pre-ECT, anyway.)
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#30
29th September 2015, 22:40
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Re: Were you hit as a child?
Yes I was smacked, and threatened with being hit on several occasions for seemingly innocuous things. My dad had a very stressful job and took his anger out on me and my Mum. He had a very violent temper and would shout, swear, kick things and threaten to smash the house up! I was absolutely terrified of him as a child and still am now to an extent. Although he is retired and no longer in his hellish job, his temper seems to be a part of who he is, although I can't work out who he got it from when I look at his family. Often he can be gentle but at the same time no nonsense, a bit like a company director I suppose, but when something angers him he explodes. When I think of him, especially when he was working and bringing me up, he seems to have anger bubbling away ready to come to the surface. Scary!
Even though me being smacked and shouted at was mostly over 15 years ago, it still hurts and enrages me now and I wish I had stood up for myself more, even if I was a risking a visit to A&E. Time has not been a healer in this case
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