Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Mo34]

both probably.

Yeah. Though I think it is. The neighbour explained the flat numbers with the car port letters and it did make sense. Shame there not garages with keys! there would be no confusion then. Make life a damn sight easier.

[Rocket Spud]

Tut, oh well, good luck with that one! Sounds like it's gonna be a hassle for them, though they're completely at fault. What do you think the approach will be if you get someone to communicate it?

[Mo34]

I imagine they'll be rang or written to and asked to vacate. Hopefully not to harshly atleast at 1st. For all I know the previous tenant may have allowed them that space.

[Rocket Spud]

Yeah, i did think that, give them the benefit of the doubt, but they are going on the assumption that you don't need it (though i'd suspect they've seen you and your car at some point.. ?).

Hmm, if i went that way i'd probably hope they were spoken to by phone - a letter would come across as a complaint. I don't know. They'd probably wonder why you didn't speak to them directly. The anxiety of doing that though ...

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Yeah, i did think that, give them the benefit of the doubt, but they are going on the assumption that you don't need it (though i'd suspect they've seen you and your car at some point.. ?).

Hmm, if i went that way i'd probably hope they were spoken to by phone - a letter would come across as a complaint. I don't know. They'd probably wonder why you didn't speak to them directly. The anxiety of doing that though ...

Oh yeah I'm sure they've seen my car, I have to do a lot of manoeuvring to get into the outdoor space I'm using! He was taking the working car out of the port as I was coming in on sat so I had to sit and wait for him to get out the way, he just looked at me and scurried into the car. Young lad (why do young lads always need big cars?).

Yeah I hope so too. Yeah they might wonder why I haven't spoken to them directly and it would be preferable but I don't think I'm up to it. I would be shaky and I doubt effective in anyway. There young, chav types (sorry very stereotyping of me!) which I find difficult and triggering, except when i'm angry. Hopefully it won't start of any ill feeling esp as they seem to be good friends with the neighbour who is next to me/along side me

[Mo34]

Funnily enough the temp manager of here has just rang me. So I raised the issue with him and he said he will pick it up when he goes back to the office tomorrow and see what he can do. Don't know if i'm happy or anxious!

[newbs16]

^^ The man with the BMW has annoyed me and it isn't even my space, he probably could see the space had been empty for a while and has parked in it, but that being the case he should just mention it to you and move the car, has he moved the car at all since you've moved in?

Some people are just rude and have no consideration for others, he probably thinks that you don't know whose space is whose and he can get away with leaving it there.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by newbs16

^^ The man with the BMW has annoyed me and it isn't even my space, he probably could see the space had been empty for a while and has parked in it, but that being the case he should just mention it to you and move the car, has he moved the car at all since you've moved in?

Some people are just rude and have no consideration for others, he probably thinks that you don't know whose space is whose and he can get away with leaving it there.

Lol I don't think they care much. I think she's the tenant and he's just her bf who has moved in. He goes out in it yeah. The car that is in disrepair/semi stripped is in their/her parking space/car port and the working car is in mine. In fact at the weekend I had to sit in my car and wait for him to move as he had reversed out, then must have got out the car to go into the car port, when he saw me/another car he just looked furtive and quickly got in the car and left. He's a young lad by the looks of it 18 - 25 at the most.

I imagine they hope I don't know and I will just continue in the outdoor space which is technically for no 44. I wouldn't know which was mine if it wasn't for the nice neighbour at no 40. Housing couldn't tell me ridiculously I suspect I may have other issues with them playing music and the like in the summer. *sigh* I can sometimes hear/feel there TV blaring in the eve at the min.

[Dougella]

^ Sounds like he was looking a bit sheepish! If they get officially told, they'll just have to move the car that's not working and decide what to do with it.

[Mo34]

^ Yeah possibly.

Well lets hope so. I guess they could park the working car in front of the non working car/car port temporarily whilst they decide what to do with the other one. Space is very much on the short side here when it comes to parking. Most of the road is taken up with ppls 2nd cars.

Cause I'm soft I feel a bit bad, but at the end of the day, why should they have 2 ports and me none. Not the best way to start of with your neighbours.... but hey ho.

[Dougella]

^ No don't feel bad! They have their port, you should have your port, that's fair! If you didn't drive or didn't have a car it wouldn't matter so much, but you do so you should have the parking space that is allocated to you. *folds arms*

[Rocket Spud]

^ This *folds arms*

I will say though, if you want to keep them on side (if you think it'll do any good), that you give them time to shift their shit. Certainly, from what you say, the body language suggests that he's in full knowledge of wrongdoing and they're going to try to get away with it for as long as nothings said. It is pisspoor behaviour though and is causing a situation.

It would be interesting to see what happens if you just park in your space when it becomes available. Maybe he'll just concede that you've found out that it's your space and may never park there again..... wishful thinking maybe

[Dougella]

^ Yes that's an idea actually, parking in the space if you see him take his car out. But it may result in a game of silent car port sneaking where they put their car back whenever they see you leave, which wouldn't be good either

[Rocket Spud]

Hahaha, no, don't be obvious about it. Wait till it's available, give it 20mins, then go out, do a shop/errand, come back in a short while and park in the space......... cross your fingers

[Mo34]

Yeah it had crossed my mind to just park there which would have been ok maybe if I had known that was my car port from the beginning but it took a few weeks to find out. Also cause they have stuff in there as well as their car it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable doing that. Which is stupid. Though it is very tempting at times...
Esp when I've been out there 1st thing scrapping ice of my windscreen or de-icing the bloody lock

Hopefully housing will sort it (tho they have no official clue as to the accurate parking allocation *eyeroll* ). And I will give them time to move their stuff. If they don't though I'm just gonna park it there and not move my car for a week even if I have to get public transport.

[newbs16]

^What things would he need to move?

[Mo34]

They have piles of bin bags at the back of there car port (no idea whats in them) which have spilled over to the back of my side of the car port. Plus a fridge and washing machine.

[choirgirl]

Nanuq - you will have to tell me the whole sorry tale another time. That doesn't sound good. It is interesting that you felt shame about being gay even though you aren't. I can only imagine the horror, just the sheer horror of actually being gay/gayish and being accused of it/bullied. I say accused, because that's what it would have been.

Yes, what to do about middle aged blahness, indeed.

[Jen.]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

I can only imagine the horror, just the sheer horror of actually being gay/gayish and being accused of it/bullied.

I was bullied in school for being gay before I even really suspected I was. It was just a rumour started by a couple of girls for no particular reason, but it got around, and knowing that people were talking about me and believing something about me that I wasn't sure was even true or not definitely contributed to a lot of confusion and anxiety over it. It turns out I wasn't gay (I'm bisexual) but I thought I probably must be for a few years. The strange thing is I later had two girlfriends while at school and neither time the relationships were hidden, but other people seemed far more accepting of that than simply the idea of someone being gay. I suppose it's easier to laugh at someone and make cruel comments if you only half-believe something, or don't believe it at all, than when you're faced with the reality of what they are. It takes a different kind of person to do the bullying in that situation, usually adults. Funny how kids are able to do so much damage to each other though.

[Jen.]

My secondary schools years were from 2002-2009. It sounds like something from the 1970s now, but "gay" was still often used as a term for something bad in the first few years of school - "That's gay", etc. Arbitrary things like wearing a bag on two shoulders or your tie not being done up a certain way would result in being called gay. Although those obviously weren't comments about sexuality, they definitely added to an intolerant atmosphere and created a space in which more direct bullying could flourish. I've heard from people with children that there's still stuff like that going on in schools. It's probably undoubtedly better now than it's ever been due to the increased rights and visibility of different people over time, and I'm sure many children are lovely and accepting and aware of the consequences of the language they use. Bullying based on sexuality still exists though because children often echo the attitudes of their parents and all want to fit in at that age too. LGBT students have always been at a much higher risk of self-harm and suicide than others and the Tories recently ended funding for training and workshops provided to tackle sexuality-based bullying in schools, so it seems like things are probably going to start getting worse.

[choirgirl]

@Jen: It must have been incredibly unhelpful, to have other people's input before you really had much of an idea yourself.

@Nanuq white pants guy.

I wonder if more media discussion/the gay rights era might have made things paradoxically even worse in school for a time, or if there was no difference. I think that sort of language/bullying is inevitable if it's allowed to flourish, because of herd mentality, gender policing by peers, adolescents defining themselves by what they aren't, fascination with stuff that grosses you out, and so on. Hopefully at least some of the other kids would challenge homophobic stuff now; I think I had some weird belief that almost everyone felt the same because no one ever said anything to counteract it, (including most adults) but of course that wasn't the case. Even rationally knowing that, it still has a tendency to stick around on some deep level.

[twosocks]

Jeff goldblum

[Rocket Spud]

Right, let's get some grub on the go..

[choirgirl]

I think I need to do a mind map of all the stuff I need to work on. Even just the psychological stuff. As soon as there's too many moving parts and some of it is difficult or requires other people (basically, most things), I get confused and lost.

[choirgirl]

^I don't know. What are all the instruments people have bought or thought about buying this year? How have you got on?

[MissKatie]

I'm thinking "omg it's so cold this morning brrrrrr"

[Professor Willow]

Thinking about how much energy I used to have ten or so years ago, I was like a Duracell bunny.
What I don't know is where all the energy came from or where it disappeared to but I would very much like to have it back.

[Mo34]

Just did eve rounds at sanctuary. Poor old Berts , he's still not well. Better but frail seeming (very not Bertie) and still seems a bit out of it. Stopped and had a stroke and a chat with him.

[Toxic]

Whats the point of medication when the side effects are basically everything you already had that your taking the medication for in the first place?

How are you suppose to know if its working

Ugh, what I'd do to feel physically ok - I took that shit for granted when I Was younger

[Mo34]

Hmm well I've to film an mini interview about the headspace app for work and then have the group I run filmed a little (they've agreed to be filmed) for promotion purpose.
Can only imagine how rubbish I'm going to be for this