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#1
5th February 2012, 16:37
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"I'm just sick of it now", how many times have i said those words?
I'm just so fed up of it now.
 I just want to stop fighting it because i'm getting nowhere and tired I have no strength even inside me helping me along the way. Every millhole IS a mountain and ive tried so many thingss to just feel good. Ha good , when was the last time i felt that? when was the last time my mood didn't suddenly change in the day? i guess i just hate the feeling so much that ive triggered in my head i'm so afraid of it that no matter what stupid positive thinking i do, i was always have it because the tinyish thing will trigger it off. Why does this feel like it isn't my fault. why does it feel like people are lucky enough to just not get it or they don't hate it this much. when i'm happy i care about other people, but when i feel like this, i just care about myself! i start to think this is me, a selfish person. Just a pessemist. i really wanna be happy again. i love the feeling of being happy and loving other people for their values. why wont i let myself be happy? because in the end they say it's you thats doing it to yourself.
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#3
7th February 2012, 21:05
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Re: "I'm just sick of it now", how many times have i said those words?
the scariest question is asking oneself "how many times have I asked myself that?". I have come to bad rut this month (I was so hopeful of 2012 too!) and I am scared that because of my diposition of character, I may not have the power to change my life around. It is despairing, but I will keep fighting on nonetheless (I positively refuse to remain in my current situation). The only way I have managed to escape these feelings is through my creativity at work (thank god I have been given this job, I really hope it will be my breakthrough fingers crossed).
I suppose the general mantra to remember is: when you're in hell, keep going (or naturally, you'll never get out of it)
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