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#1
22nd January 2017, 18:58
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Guy at work update
A few weeks ago I posted about a guy coming on to me at work despite us both being attached.
Recently it has got far worse and I am fearing having to leave my job now, A week ago he asked me where I see myself in 5 years time I challenged him by asking him why he is always asking me probing questions and he said " I have to see if you are suitable". Last week he said "isnt it funny that we walk home in the same direction but never walk together" Then he waited for me and asked me to walk with him to his car...it was so awkward..... He leant me a pound coin and asked " is this where it starts? ! Then last week before break he was asking if I fancied coming to the canteen with him for breakfast. Im frozen and pathetic with my responses. I dont want to create bad feeling, but Im sure that will happen anyway once he realises that nothing is going to happen.. Last week on Friday he was behaving odd with me when I started avoiding him...then I chatted to him again and he became OK. I dont know what to do...I was crying on the way home on Friday.... Im terrified of creating an atmosphere beween me and colleagues... 
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#2
22nd January 2017, 19:11
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Re: Guy at work update
you either have to tell him yourself or someone in HR that your uncomfortable. In the end your there to work and he is now affecting your work performance.
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#3
22nd January 2017, 19:14
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Re: Guy at work update
You need to tell your line manager about this and hes being totally inappropiate. Everyone will understand why you reported him once you tell them what he was like. Other people may have picked up on his creepyness and/or hes done it with others too, normally they case.
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#5
22nd January 2017, 19:46
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Re: Guy at work update
I honestly think the best remedy in situations like this is honesty. You are going to have to tell him what you think, he may not even realise he is making you feel uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure this is fairly common behavior for a lot of men, it seems to me like he wants a relationship or sex and it makes you uncomfortable. You are going to have to learn to confront people like this. If he doesn't like it then tough, once he knows you are not interested then he has no right to impose any unwanted attention on you. Could you be giving him the wrong impression?
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#6
22nd January 2017, 19:58
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Re: Guy at work update
I have discussed with my boyfriend. He does not have SA and suggested i tell him to **** off.
I however simply cannot do it. I know that is what I should do but I cant. My fear of repucussions is almost unbearable. It is such a small team and there is much time spent talking. We have to get on and he is popular too.
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#7
22nd January 2017, 20:04
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Re: Guy at work update
Don't tell him to **** off, just be direct and honest. You can learn to do this in a respectful way by saying "sorry I'm not interested, you make me uncomfortable." Something along those lines, that is a perfectly acceptable thing to say and he will just have to deal with it.
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