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19th July 2018, 21:50
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Oddly chilled,
My neighbours invited me over for dinner this eve as I was out working in the garden, I actually accepted the invite and was sat out in their garden having a lovely meal, sitting in the sunshine, They offered me a few after-dinner drinks and I gratefully accepted, Felt good, but rather out of my ordinary, - strange times for an SA'er 
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19th July 2018, 22:20
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Pretty fantastic to be honest. It's been a whirlwind few years since I last spent any real time here, but I've been feeling like I'm avoiding things I shouldn't be again. So, here I am, hopefully briefly....not that I don't enjoy the company of you guys, because you'll always remain special to me for the support I received here when needed it.
I hope to find all those I knew here before to be keeping well, and all those new here are finding something close to what I did here.
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20th July 2018, 21:12
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Happy to see some rain
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20th July 2018, 21:33
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
In denial about my village chippy actually selling decent chips now. I'd say about a 6.5/10
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20th July 2018, 22:11
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Went to the pub up the hill and immediately someone spoke to me and my confidence crumbled... Don't know why I bothered. I'm just trying to hide and finish my beer now.
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20th July 2018, 22:42
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Meh, tomorrow is my last day of being 34. I***8217;d like to just stop having birthdays.
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21st July 2018, 00:12
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Woooooooooooooooo!
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21st July 2018, 15:53
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Tired again, I always seem to get tired around this time of day
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21st July 2018, 15:54
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Quote:
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23rd July 2018, 01:42
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^^ I worry about that too whenever I try to get help. I think, what if I'm messed up in a way that sort of falls between the cracks of things they can deal with? Like, I'm in a grey area between where different issues overlap, and no one really knows what to do with it. Well done for getting the appointment though, you deserve some support
 The worry you have of being rejected and not being able to be helped might actually be a good starting point.I'm feeling sort of numb, like I'm not reacting to anything naturally, and need to manually act the way I think I should be feeling. Nothing feels good or bad enough, it's all just grey and nothingy. I self-harmed for the first time in a couple of months tonight, not because I needed to, but because it just seemed like the done thing. 'I think I feel bad... this is what I do when I feel bad... isn't it?' But really I just feel like I'm acting, just playing at being a person with human emotions. I worry that really I'm an empty husk.
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23rd July 2018, 15:07
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
@ Merritt, didn't wanna quote you in case you'd rather i didn't but its really sad to hear you feel that way. you always seem like a great guy to me with tons of character and you never seem to act like a c*nt to anyone on here either. sorry to be flippant but i hope you have amazing sexy nightmares tonight and wake up to a bed full of zombie clones of jet from gladiators (((merritt)))
hope your counselling appt goes good tubbs and that you manage not to wear yourself out with anticipation, its a bitch!
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23rd July 2018, 15:08
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
as for me...i seem to go through a lot of shampoo considering i have a rather fleshy haircut. so yeah whatever that feeling is...soapy befuddlery
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23rd July 2018, 16:09
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
 *sigh*. Got a message from my new? counsellor to ring her, which I've just done. I didn't really need to ring I knew what she was going to say. My counsellor died in the night apparently, she deteriorated quite suddenly. I still can't get my head round the suddenness of it all - she only had a diagnosis around about Apr  . Terrible. I've been told I can go to the funeral if I wish. Haven't said yes or no, but I probably will.
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23rd July 2018, 16:21
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^
 Sorry to hear, Mo.
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23rd July 2018, 17:57
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Sorry to hear your sad news Mo
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23rd July 2018, 21:19
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Hot and tired, when Autumn finally gets here I'm going to have a lot of sleeping to catch up on.
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23rd July 2018, 22:30
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ cant wait for the autumn lol
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23rd July 2018, 23:58
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
gosh this must be what normal tiredness feels like instead of the "i'm so scared i'm going to wake up in the night having a panic attack that i cant actually be tired, just extremely stressed or exhausted" shite ive been enduring for what, 5 years?
normally i have to wait until i am just the right kind of exhausted to go to sleep
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24th July 2018, 04:22
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
I feel so useless lately, I***8217;m just occupying valuable space doing nothing with my life. *le sigh*
Also I***8217;m always so depressing, I need some fun in my life, but I feel like I don***8217;t even know how to have fun anymore.
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24th July 2018, 20:31
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Bit perplexed at my good self. Went up to MIND this afternoon. Had a 1:1 with recovery worker. So stayed much later than norm. Left at about 4.15 bumped into one of the regulars in the car park and we ended up going for a cold drink outside the cafe/leisure centre. very unusual thing for me to do... even more unusual was that a 1/2 an hour drink turned into me leaving at about 7.20pm!!
 We were just chatting about random crap and they did more of the talking than me, but I felt remarkably chilled. I think sun stroke may have temporarily knocked me normal. 
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24th July 2018, 20:44
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
^ I find this damn heat makes me less bothered about certain things I'd usually torment myself with...maybe being too hot to care isn't all bad mo
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24th July 2018, 20:53
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Quote:
I'm beginning to think I'm not going to make it that far, it seems to be getter hotter here as it gets later tonight.
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24th July 2018, 20:57
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Like that big bowl of ice-cream was a mistake, I'm feeling a bit sick now.
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24th July 2018, 20:58
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Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)
Quote:
Quote:
Don’t be too hard on yourself, which in itself can be a really hard thing
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