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  #1  
Old 12th November 2017, 20:23
Jason90 Jason90 is offline
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Default Self conscious ordering randomly

If I go to somewhere new and have to order randomly I can find it really hard to the point it totally puts me off and i've avoided going for example subway ever. I worry everyone is judging me when I don't know what to order or people behind will think i'm stupid because I don't know what to say, I usually don't speak loud enough and get asked to repeat what my order is.

I set myself a target to go and sit in Costa with my book but I wimped out of just going in to get a drink , sometimes if someone is with me i'll be fine but other times i'll lie and say I don't want anything to the point I think it annoyed my ex because she would get funny about not getting anything herself either.

Having said that, this morning at work at the airport I wanted a hot chocolate and a mate bought me one before so I offered to get him one too, I went to Costa and was on the verge of walking away at the entrance but I Thought "no, stop being a pussy you can do this." and went in and ordered some Billionaire's hot chocolates. Nothing bad happened and it was a small victory but if there had been a bigger queue I don't think I could of done it and would of made an excuse to my friend, I guess that is the next progression? A bigger queue not making an excuse .

Anyone else experience a similar problem? How many people are around seems to somewhat effect things although sometimes more people = more noise and makes it easier. I can go into a crowded or empty McDonald's anytime I guess because I know exactly what i'm ordering and what i'll be asked.
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  #2  
Old 13th November 2017, 01:24
MJC MJC is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

Yes - a few weeks back I was returning from my friends house late at night and knew I needed milk for the morning.
I popped into the garage shop and had to use those useless window things where you talk to the shop keeper through a pane of glass. There was a que and a que quickly formed behind me and I just knew I was going to mess up. And sure enough I asked for 2x 2 litre tubs of semi-skimmed milk. Was asked to repeat it and I stuttered out 4 litres of semi-skimmed milk. He then walked away before turning round and asked if it was green or blue I wanted. I said green then he asked again how much I wanted. I then stuttered "t t ttt tt t two litres tt t tt t ttttt twooo tubs" He replied with "eh" and I said "forget it" and walked back to the car.
Then the auto gearbox wouldn't select drive and by this stage the entire que were staring at me as I panicked to try and get drive. Had to switch engine off and sit for a couple of minutes before restarting, selecting drive and leaving.

I went to another shop where I just walked in, picked up the milk, went to the till, handed over the money, collected my change and left, all without uttering a single word. Bliss.

I can also relate to what you're saying about not getting anxious when with company. When my friend and I go to the cafe for coffee I don't feel anxious at all. If I'm with my cousin I'd be anxious but can do it but if I'm on my own I wouldn't even enter a cafe...I get anxious at times just walking past one (and I've to walk past one every day I head to the Post Office).

I've never gone into a McDonalds on my own either, always use the Driv Thru
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Old 13th November 2017, 10:47
Velcro-Touch Velcro-Touch is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

I get like this a little bit I just make sure I go in knowing exactly what I want, whether it be subway a burrito place.

I messed up in dominos the other day though didn’t spend enough time looking at the menu and didn’t realise they did stuffed crust until it was too late.
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Old 14th November 2017, 19:52
Jason90 Jason90 is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

I hate those silly window thing's at garages, I didn't get what to do and it was awkward trying to talk to someone clearly lacking in the hearing department, luckily there were only a few people behind me.


It's ok knowing what to order but what about when they ask sizes or randomly ask about something not on the menu or meal deals or any number of stuff I can't plan if I haven't been in before?
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Old 15th November 2017, 17:40
Velcro-Touch Velcro-Touch is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

It’s no big deal, had a plan going into the subway but a spanner was thrown into the works when I realised they had different types of bread too haha

No one cares what you order or if you take sometime to decide, they are worrying about their own problems
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Old 17th November 2017, 13:14
Jason90 Jason90 is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

^ yer see I can realise that when i'm doing certain things but I don't seem to register it in this scenario.

Today I went to Costa by myself book in hand, got my billionaires hot chocolate and sat for an hour reading and every now and then looking around at all the new people busying chatting mostly, need to repeat it but I honestly felt fine after ordering my drink. Yesterday I went to a different Costa on a date which Went fine and we chatted for 2.5 hours. Planning to go to Marks and spencers cafe by myself at some point for some food with my book next, exposure, exposure, exposure = anxiety overcome .
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Old 18th November 2017, 13:49
clyde33 clyde33 is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

Oh god yeah i can completely relate to this. Starbucks are doing their nice looking Christmas hot chocolates now and every morning when i walk to work, i keep wanting to go in and order one but never do as i wouldn't know what to say and it's always busy. There's too many options and when i look at the board (when i used to go in with a friend) it was all just a blur to me. I'd like one with soy milk or almond milk, and that's just going to cause further faffing around with me stuttering and stammering. And then there's the different sizes which i'm sure i remember to be in Italian.

The last time i went to Starbucks on my own was years ago. I think i put a post on here about what happened. It was really busy and i squeaked out my order (just a coffee of the day which i'd heard my friend ordering previously, nothing fancy) and the server couldn't hear me and said 'what?' so i said it again and by this time she was up at the other end of the counter so again didn't hear me. I tried once more and this big huge guy behind me in the queue bellowed my order out to her really loudly. I was so embarrassed and didn't know what to do. I could feel my face burning up. I've never gone back.
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Old 19th November 2017, 10:17
Jason90 Jason90 is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

^ thanks for the head sup on Starbucks, sounds like they have way too many options, maybe I should go sometime as a test. That guy sounds like an idiot, I would of been embarrassed too, I guess he was in a rush.
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  #9  
Old 19th November 2017, 10:23
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason90
^ yer see I can realise that when i'm doing certain things but I don't seem to register it in this scenario.

Today I went to Costa by myself book in hand, got my billionaires hot chocolate and sat for an hour reading and every now and then looking around at all the new people busying chatting mostly, need to repeat it but I honestly felt fine after ordering my drink. Yesterday I went to a different Costa on a date which Went fine and we chatted for 2.5 hours. Planning to go to Marks and spencers cafe by myself at some point for some food with my book next, exposure, exposure, exposure = anxiety overcome .
Wow that's an amazing achievement being on a date for so long.
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  #10  
Old 19th November 2017, 17:28
Velcro-Touch Velcro-Touch is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbs16
Wow that's an amazing achievement being on a date for so long.
Yeah did you meet the girl on online dating? Im making an account this week, hopefully I have similar luck.

Dating with anxiety will be tough but I have no choice unless I want to be single forever.

A date thread from you would be interesting Jason tell us (me) your experiences were the same age.
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  #11  
Old 22nd November 2017, 22:04
purplerose purplerose is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

Well done on ordering the billionaires hot chocolates yourself

I hate ordering especially if it's somewhere really busy.
I also hate when you know what you want but then they ask a random question you wasn't expecting them to ask and it throws you off.

I'm better than I used to be but I still get others to order for me if its say a busy pub on a Saturday night.
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  #12  
Old 22nd November 2017, 22:26
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: Self conscious ordering randomly

Yeh the people serving you coffees at my costa seem like dicks. Don't fall for their crap as many seem to like to prey on SA suffers.

We have a costa coffee in my uni that is the nearest place to get water on break between lectures so I walk in and buy a water for an old 1, and the guy was like 'IS THAT IT'?
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