SAUK Discussion Board

Go Back   SAUK Discussion Board > Social Anxiety Discussions > The Social Anxiety Room
Join! Blogs FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply  Post New Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 18th November 2017, 23:11
Selina Kyle Selina Kyle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 50
Default People treating you differently

Just wondered if anyone else ever experiences this kind of thing - was just at the shop getting couple of things and at the checkout the woman who was serving was chatting away animatedly to the other two people in front of me but when it got to me she kind of clammed up and didn't say anything at all. Don't know if there's just something about me, a vibe I give off, or my manner or something that makes people respond like this. The other two people weren't all that chatty either but she still blethered away to them. Maybe she just picked up on my awkwardness and that I didn't really want to talk or something. I don't know. Is little depressing, just emphasises even more how out of place I am. Anyone else experience this kind of thing?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 18th November 2017, 23:26
clyde33 clyde33 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 446

Mood
Lurking

Default Re: People treating you differently

Could she maybe just have known them if they're regular customers?

I know what you mean though, i've been in situations like that before. I find people tend to speak to me if i make eye contact with them and give a little smile. I find it's often hard to do that though.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 18th November 2017, 23:27
biscuits biscuits is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in the tin.
Posts: 12,842
Default Re: People treating you differently

Yes, quite often.

But there are a lot of times when it's the opposite and random strangers try and talk at me. You know, the people that gasbag away and are content with facial expressions as responses and encouragement to continue.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 18th November 2017, 23:44
Selina Kyle Selina Kyle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 50
Default Re: People treating you differently

yeah guess she could have known them. used to get that one quite often, random folks telling me their life story etc. don't get it so much these days. guess my gtf body language acts as suitable deterrent. perhaps that's the problem. but then again I don't really want to talk to folk at till, unless I'm feeling especially chatty or happy, which happens not much these days. hence why I generally use the self serve things if possible. other than being a little demanding regarding not putting unexpected items in bagging area etc, they're infinitely more preferable than having to make small talk with a human being. so guess can't really complain when no-one talks to me, is obv vibe I'm giving off, think people do pick up on that.

thanks for replies
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 18th November 2017, 23:47
Selina Kyle Selina Kyle is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 50
Default Re: People treating you differently

Quote:
Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert
Yes, I've experienced it, but in my case it was Asperger's controlling my body language and facial expressions, making me appear defensive and/or hostile; anxiety can give us negative body language too.

Of course, it is possible that the checkout lady knew the people in front of you, perhaps they are friends, neighbours or regular customers - or perhaps there was something in their shopping which prompted her to comment (once, I bought cabbage, carrots, onions and mayonnaise and the checkout operator started a conversation by asking me if I was making coleslaw). These days, being a little more outgoing than I have been in the past, I ask the till people how their day is going, which usually doesn't get past a brief exchange but sometimes leads to a short conversation.
Yeah think that's probably a big part of it. probably also, with me, my miserable, 'please don't talk to me' face, guess that also puts a lot of people off attempting to make conversation lol
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 19th November 2017, 00:14
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: bethmoora
Posts: 6,858

Mood
Shoveit

Default Re: People treating you differently

Yes and no. I usually attract the ' crazies' so being left alone isn't all that bad. Sometimes I consciously give off the ' don't bother ' vibe, Being approachable isn't always a good thing.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 19th November 2017, 02:07
Always Always is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Scarfolk
Posts: 260
Default Re: People treating you differently

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miggs The Terrible
Yes and no. I usually attract the ' crazies' so being left alone isn't all that bad. Sometimes I consciously give off the ' don't bother ' vibe, Being approachable isn't always a good thing.
I seem unable to project a 'don't bother' vibe. I used to get old women and random men talking to me despite my lack of eye contact/positive body language. I tend to dart out of the way if crazy people appear
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 19th November 2017, 02:44
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: bethmoora
Posts: 6,858

Mood
Shoveit

Default Re: People treating you differently

^ it's not an impenetrable technique I'll grant you. Old people love a chat, even if you don't , and will just jabber on until you leave. Sometimes that doesn't stop them either lol
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 19th November 2017, 10:19
Jason90 Jason90 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Crappy crawley, w.sussex
Posts: 1,462
Default Re: People treating you differently

I think I used to look very unapproachable and at time's I did feel like people treated me differently but now i'm more relaxed and smile a bit and look less like I want to hit someone people are more likely to try to speak to me. Having said that even before I always seemed to get let's say strange people come up to me and randomly start talking to me if I was at the train station or something.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 19th November 2017, 10:29
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 11,058
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: People treating you differently

I've had this happen before, I'm happy to speak if they speak to me but I wouldn't go out of my way to start a conversation.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 19th November 2017, 14:10
vaxjo vaxjo is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 182

Mood
Happy

Default Re: People treating you differently

This used to alway happen to me because I had a very unapprochable, miserable countenance. Partly deliberatw to scare of people.

Then one day I decided sod that and started smiling and adopting a more casual stance. The change was pretty dramatic people always ask approach me now ( to some anxiety on my part)

It took a while to get it right. A first when I started smiling people thought I was a loon cause I had a sort manical smile
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 18:59.


SAUK Award
Logo designed by abc
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.