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  #271  
Old 5th June 2017, 10:15
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thanks, Snarf. I know you're right that they're of no use, I'm determined not to let them take over completely and drag me back down, I've had these thoughts for most of my life though and I don't think I'll ever be free of them, I just really want to not care anymore.
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  #272  
Old 5th June 2017, 12:55
Tim.82 Tim.82 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I know what it's like to dislike the way you look and how hard it is to try and cope with these feelings, but Purplesnarf is right and I hope you manage to get those feelings under control soon and start to see yourself the way everyone else does
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  #273  
Old 5th June 2017, 15:11
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thanks a lot, Tim
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  #274  
Old 5th June 2017, 16:15
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

@Biscuits I stopped regularly wearing make up a while ago because of the same reason. Now I keep looking at my blotchy mess of a face and wanting to wear it again but dont for three reasons:
1. I cant get out of bed early enough. Alarm goes at 5.30 which is bad enough.
2. My current friends are used to me without make up. Now Im scared of getting 'are you wearing make up?' comments when I wear it again. I have this fear that people will think 'look at her wearing make up. As if that will help' - the term polishing a turd comes to mind. I hate people noticing I look different. I even hate getting my hair cut. Before, I felt fine wearing make up because thats how people knew me. Not anymore.
3. Most days during this time of year is over 30 degrees and I also dont want any 'your face appears to be melting' comments.
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  #275  
Old 5th June 2017, 21:03
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Is there any treatment available for BDD?
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  #276  
Old 5th June 2017, 21:40
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbs16
Is there any treatment available for BDD?
The only time I tried talking to my GP about it he laughed at me so I never bothered bringing it up again. I'd imagine CBT would probably be offered.
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  #277  
Old 6th June 2017, 01:57
Danica Danica is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ You remind me of Felicity Jones
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  #278  
Old 6th June 2017, 19:57
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Gosh I don't know what to say to that.
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  #279  
Old 11th June 2017, 19:28
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Sorry for not replying sooner

@ Victoria it's awful when it happens, isn't it? Sorry that you also experience this.

@ Metal Goat I can relate to that. Whenever I make a tiny make up change I worry that people will think I look silly or wonder who I'm trying to impress. Recently I've been changing my make up all the time because I just can't work out what to do with this ol' face o'mine. It's good that you've reached a point where you're comfortable without make up.

Personally, I think that you two are so lovely, funny and smart. You've both got a lot to be proud of. (I'll stop there because my compliments always sound creepy )

I'm going for a shower because I really need to cry about how ugly I feel. Each day it gets worse and it's not going to change. I just want to not give a shit about how I look. Maybe when I feel like my life is stable then I will not care about my face. It feels like everything wrong in my life is because I'm so ugly and boring and weird. Yeah... so embarrassed to admit that this is how I feel about myself right now.
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  #280  
Old 11th June 2017, 22:25
Cheshire Cat Cheshire Cat is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
I'm going for a shower because I really need to cry about how ugly I feel.
This drew my attention because in this sentence you reveal that it is your feelings about yourself that is causing you pain rather than any objective reality! I'm sure you aren't ugly, but we tend to see what we believe in the mirror.

I've never thought I was especially good looking, and I'm having a few complexes about going grey now, as I really wanted to have my confidence issues nipped in the bud before I started getting older and I haven't entirely succeeded! But I just try to remember to not focus on these things, and remember that it's my self-talk, and how I feel inside that is important. Life is too short to spend it beating ourselves up, and if we could get those years back, lying on our death bed, we'd think, 'why did I spend my life attacking myself for things that were beyond my control?', but I do appreciate it's easier said than done.
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  #281  
Old 11th June 2017, 22:43
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thank you for taking the time to read my neurotic ramblings, Cheshire Cat.

It's when I'm feeling down about myself as a person that I then seem to launch an attack on the way that I look. When I'm happy in my life then I don't give two poos about my appearance because my happiness is inside of me.

I'm just having a bit of a rubbish time at the moment...feeling like I'm rubbish at people stuff (and thinking of words haha)
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  #282  
Old 23rd June 2017, 02:09
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Felt particularly misshapen today when I caught sight of my body in the mirror.
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  #283  
Old 27th June 2017, 18:17
Clementine Clementine is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Has anyone ever looked back at old photos and thought 'Actually, I looked fine. Maybe even almost good'?
It's weird, I was looking at a photo of me on here from about 8 and a half years ago. It was almost full length, which is something I'd never usually post. My BDD was really severe back then and I hated everything about the way I looked and rarely went outside. Now though I can look at it and think that I looked nice-ish.
It sort of feels like looking at somebody else though. It definitely doesn't make me feel any better about myself now.

Interestingly, I did feel quite disgusted with myself in other ways when I was looking back. It was my first experience of a forum and I was so simpering and annoying (I'm sure I still am a bit), I even said 'lol' a lot to try and fit in. Ugh. Just ugh.
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  #284  
Old 27th June 2017, 19:13
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ Yeah, I always seem to think I'm at an all time low, and that what I thought was my worst, 5 or 10 years ago, would be ridiculously ambitious to try to get back to today. Not sure it's the same for me in terms of looks though, I don't think I looked anywhere close to good or okay when I was younger, but I don't remember caring so much back then.

True story: When I first used MSN Messenger when I was 15, I had to ask someone what lol meant. I thought they kept cheering (a head and two arms in the air) every time I tried to be funny, and I felt all paranoid that they were being weirdly sarcastic.
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  #285  
Old 27th June 2017, 20:16
jam jam is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^^ Not your old photo's, but I look at your avatar and think you look dam fine all the time.
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  #286  
Old 1st July 2017, 21:58
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Has anyone been to any support groups for their BDD?
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  #287  
Old 2nd July 2017, 16:20
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ Nope. I've been to a support group for self-confidence though. At first I was really sceptical about the idea, but my desperation to be normal trumped those feelings. It was surprisingly useful and not at all what I was expecting it to be.
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  #288  
Old 3rd July 2017, 22:52
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in a shop today. Good grief!

fugly bug.
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  #289  
Old 3rd July 2017, 22:56
Olly. Olly. is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^
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  #290  
Old 3rd July 2017, 23:36
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
^ Nope. I've been to a support group for self-confidence though. At first I was really sceptical about the idea, but my desperation to be normal trumped those feelings. It was surprisingly useful and not at all what I was expecting it to be.

Ah that sounds interesting, did you get referred to the group or was it something you found yourself?
for you x

I did actually find some BDD support groups http://bddfoundation.org/support-groups/ There are also Skype groups (audio only for us BDD lot) I might try and give that a go.
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  #291  
Old 4th July 2017, 04:14
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I think the audio group would be good for you dimples, it could be a way of building up to do a face to face Skype group or one in person.
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  #292  
Old 5th July 2017, 20:13
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thanks pour le hugs, Ol and Dimples

I was referred to the group by my counsellor at uni. I don't think it was an NHS thing because I only had to wait about a week before going (lol). It was useful even though they made me sing in front of everyone :O!

Let us know how the Skype support group goes. I don't think I'd even know how to tackle BDD. My worry is that it might not be 'all in my head'.
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  #293  
Old 6th July 2017, 12:18
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I don't know if it's the sort of thing you'd be interested in, but I've been working through this book for the last couple of months and have found it quite helpful.

Even if you don't use any of the techniques it suggests, I think it's quite useful in helping you understand how anxiety about your appearance is maintained and how your past experiences may have given rise to that anxiety in the first place. I've had lots of moments reading it where I'm like, 'That's me!' Some of the exercises are a bit heavy-handed, but I've just done the ones that make sense to me and seem relevant to the things I struggle with. It's definitely given me a bit more of an idea of how I might go about managing things a little better, and I think I may have even made some progress towards that.
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  #294  
Old 7th July 2017, 11:30
Nervous Wreck Nervous Wreck is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ That looks like it might be worth a read. I have always struggled with my image. I'm round shouldered, my face has a reddish tinge which is heaps worse when I'm anxious. I somehow feel as if my head is too big for my body and I don't have hair, I have wire wool!!! I was terribly spotty as a teenager and because of that always felt I looked a mess and that's pretty much how I see myself now to be honest. I'm certainly not comfortable in my own skin and everyone always looks better than I do. I wish I could see myself as others see me so that I could judge how accurate my perception of self is!! In truth, the external image is far less important than the heart inside the person but it is true that when you see yourself negatively then pretty much everyone else does too and if you think you don't come up to scratch others seem to treat you that way. A log on to Amazon could well be in order!!!
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  #295  
Old 7th July 2017, 21:28
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Thanks for the book recommendation, Appear. That's great that it's helping you with strategies.

It's a shame that it doesn't come as an audio book. You know what I'm like with books...I just can't concentrate and I don't have any time. Will you record yourself reading it and make it available on itunes?
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  #296  
Old 8th July 2017, 13:09
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ Nay probs, lady. Yeah, I get that. Stuff like this can seem a bit of slog. The chapters are pretty short though, so it'd be easy to read just every now and then if you wanted. I think I could probably fling you just the bits of it I've highlighted on my Kindle in a Word document if you wanted (but no pressure or owt).

^^ I'm very similar in thinking everyone always looks better than me. One big thing that I've realised I need to work on is feeling as if how I look matters only a little compared to other things about me - though I can appreciate this on some intellectual level, it's really hard for me to really 'feel' it. Hopefully doing so will allow me to get out my own way a little bit.

Hope you find it helpful!
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  #297  
Old 8th July 2017, 13:20
Omar Little Omar Little is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^Man, you and biscuits are both ****ing awesome. It's really shitty that you have to suffer with this stuff. It reminds me of a line from Yeats' The Second Coming: 'The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.' And you two are the best imo - having said that, I know neither of you in real life, you might both be right shitbags, but I doubt it.
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  #298  
Old 8th July 2017, 13:43
Nervous Wreck Nervous Wreck is offline
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^^ purchased from Amazon today. Will let you know how I get on with it :-)
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  #299  
Old 8th July 2017, 14:05
Appear Appear is offline
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^ Coolstuff! Make sure you do!


^^ Ah, heck, I'm a bit taken aback by that. Thank you. It means a lot coming from your very very (very)* good self.

My mum hasn't called me a shitbag for a least two weeks, so I think I've definitely improved.


*very
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  #300  
Old 8th July 2017, 14:25
jam jam is offline
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I completely agree with Omar- Biscuit and Appear are both right shitbags.
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